My beloved Mother,
When the bus left the station last Friday, you and Xiao-ti
waved to me and I couldn't hold back my tears.
Sadness and worry was all over your face but Xiao-Ti is too young
to know what was going on. I will never forget that day--I was deeply touched and couldn't sleep that night.

This was the first time I left home and I felt all at once
I would no longer be under your loving care and Tieh's* constant guidance anymore.  I had to take care of and be responsible for myself.  This would be my first journey alone to face the whole wide world. Success or failure would depend on me.  Though I had some initial doubt,  I was able to quickly brush this feeling away. I am 18 and coming to my manhood, no longer a boy--I have to trust myself and my integrity.

I saw you sewing well past midnight the day before my departure
to make sure I would not lack anything--I can't thank you enough.
When I grow up and have finished my studies, hopefully at uni-level,  I'll get a good job. By then Tieh wouldn't have to work as I
together with Ta-ker# would take care of all our family's needs.
And I'll send Xiao-ti to a good school--he's very hard-working and smart--perhaps he can study to become a doctor! This, dear Mother,
I promise you.

On arrival at the school-hostel,  I immediately paid for my board and lodging.  The $5 weekly pocket--allowance is enough for me, so please don't worry; I won't need to write home for more.

As promised, I'll write home once a week. Tieh put a letter in my pocket which I discovered only on arrival.  He hoped I won't let you and him down or do things to bring shame to the family.
He quoted to me this proverb-- if one does not persevere during one's youthful days , regret would plague him all his life.
Be sure I will keep these words in my heart.

Poor Tieh,  he has lost weight recently taking on a second teaching job at night.  He has to walk several miles a day and his toe-nails are badly infected by fungus.  He should consult a doctor---this is an expenditure that's unavoidable---please persuade him as I know he's very stubborn when it comes to visiting the doctor. I'll write to him on this as well.

I am aware that our family budget is very tight as Ta-ker in Singapore needs a large sum for his pre-uni studies.  He will complete his studies only two years from now. Uni-fees are very high and the burden on Tieh and you would be very onerous.

I am trying to get a part-time job in a book-shop which is not too far from the hostel.  If I succeed, I'll earn $50 a month and you wouldn't need to send me any pocket-money.

Most of the students come from better families.  My room-mate has a Parker pen and a watch.  His parents send expensive cakes to him.
Another has a leather bag and wears branded clothes and shoes.

My violin is such a comfort to me.  I play every evening at the common-room after dinner, especially some of the Chinese folk-songs you taught me and my brothers when we were kids.
I always feel happier after playing. Ta-ker is a fine tenor and has written to me saying he has joined a choir in school--can't believe the music-teacher taught the students to sing Santa Lucia and O Sole Mio!  He has sent me the music so that I can play them on my violin.

Please take care of your cough--it seems to be getting worse. You must continue to take the cough-mixture regularly. If it persists, please go and see a doctor trained in Western medicine as I'm not sure whether the sin-seh^ is reliable or not.

I'll work hard and will send the quarterly report card after the term.

My love to you, Tieh and Xiao-ti.  I'll correspond regularly with Ta-ker.

I am, dear Mother
your always obedient and filial son
Ming

Profile:
Yuwen Chengdu is the son of Yuwen Huaji, who was a general of the Sui dynasty. He is a warrior of Sui, only secondary to Li Yuanba, who is naturally super powerful. As recorded, he was as tall as ten feet with strong waist and body. In the appearance of golden face, long beard and thick eyebrow, he often hold a weapon as heavy as 350 pounds.

Introduction of ****** makeup:
****** makeup, or Lian Pu, refers to ****** designs for Jing and Chou roles. It originated from daily life experience, describing such changes of expression as white for fear, red for shyness, dark for suntan, and sallow for illness. Most ****** designs attach great importance to the eyes.  The ****** designs for the Jing roles are made by painting, powdering and coloring in the basic forms of Zheng Lian (keeping the basic face pattern), San Kuai Wa Lian (three-section face) and Sui Lian (fragmentary face). These types are widely used to represent generals, officials, heroes, gods and ghosts. The Chou actors can be recognized by the patch of white in various shapes painted around the eyes and nose. Sometimes these patches are outlined in black, hence the term Xiao Hua Lian (partly painted face). The Chou roles fall into the following two categories: Wen Chou and Wu Chou.

Features:
****** makeup bears three main characteristics. Firstly, it is the unity and contradiction of beauty and ugliness. Secondly, it is closely related to the personality of the characters. Lastly, the patterns are stylized.

Beijing opera is one of the most popular drama widely welcomed and loved, no matter home and abroad. It is now acknowledged as a sign of Chinese traditional culture. The photos of ****** mask can be found on large buildings, product packages, various porcelains and clothes. It has gone beyond the stage, from which we can see the deep influence of ****** makeup. More and more foreigners have interest in it and begin to explore the secret of ****** makeup.

http://www.toywill.com

I’d ‘ever be your tree,
     Come the pull of your arm.
I’d ‘ever be your tree,
     Come the push, two gentle feet.
I’d ‘ever be your tree,
     Come the wind, come the rain.
And’d ‘ever be your tree,
     Come beginning, come the end.
Son, I promise, I’d ‘ever be your tree.
     So roots spoke, “the leaves never die.”

Always wonder your thought
Beautiful creature from within
Clasps subside your everlasting
Daring glimpse of yours
Exceptionally undying
For you
Gestures with a simple
"Hello"
I could almost faint in my seat.
Jar of my hearts unknowingly 
Killed the happiness
Less than I thought from my
Mouth,
Nothing to speak out but you
Only you that
Pound from my heart to my mind
Questing that you and i will found
Rollercoasters we ride 
Searching
Tilting
Until 
Voice
We almost reach to say wo ai ni
Xiao xiao
You make me crazy
*Zerk!

Another year without summer,
the cold sun fills the heavens and the earth.
Darkness on the edge of the city,
a hard moon sick and rising.
One suffers love, so meager

The Jade Emperor shows me a way forward.
A vision in light white silk, beyond the empty void
burning me up with hope……
my mind is awake……
No way now to hide the fire inside.

Hungry for something
I have never seen before,
my eager eyes scour
pages of books.

Opening several books,
I marvel at the lives and stories
of true artisans of their time:
Xiao Hong, Joy Harjo, and William Faulkner.

I stare at each page,
trying to digest
every word
and imitate their style;

however, my mind draws blank
the moment the blank document
reflects back into
my empty mind.

Suddenly
intrusive thoughts rise
to the forefront of
my consciousness.

“How dare you think
you could ever become
a hero like them
without a single reader?”

I finally surmise that
I’m not a poet,
artist, or
author.

I don’t have the
soulless apartment flat
in the middle of a bustling city,
finding muse in every corner of life.

Nor do I have the freedom
to explore outside’s
blank landscapes
as there’s a spike of missing women reports here.

Instead,
I live in my empty childhood home,
bedroom walls plastered with heroes from video games
as I hide away from my mom’s boyfriend.

Afraid of both the outside and inside world,
I remain still.
I am no writer.
I am no hero.

I hope this is the voice of writers in general, however humble.

Every writer's intention is to share his thoughts.  He doesn't compel the reader to buy or read his book. It's natural of him to write/say this:
'here I am writing what I am thinking and about my experience....'.

But life is never short of philistines.  A few might even say:
' Don't advertise before me!'

That the person should articulate the above shows how low- down he/she is---it smacks of ill-will, ignorance, contempt and spite, immaturity and in the worst case--schadenfreude!

Confucius  the sage (600 BC) wrote about the chun-tze (the gentleman, the perfect person) who is kind, tolerant, encourages learning, practises humility, kindness, generosity, shows respect for all people, and delights in the success of others and never denigrates others as the xiao-ren (the 'small' or inferior person) does.

Confucianism has captured the imagination of the West which has openly declared that the founder was among the world's greatest philosophers.

Was the sage advertising himself? If he were so,  would he have survived for over 2,500 years?

Anyone who dares say that the writer is an advertiser must be among the most deplorable.  He or she should be pitied!

everyone can agree on the fact that scholasticism
existed in medieval Europe...
i'm not even going to tackle the dichotomy
of scholasticism "vs." humanism...
but... what is apparent... from what i've heard
and seen...
scholasticism wasn't replaced by humanism...
but... pop-psychology...
i.e. the schematic-ism of man...
        Oxford dictionary has yet to approve the term:
schematicism...
   from the "holy trinity" of Freud -
the father the ego
   the son the superego
the holy spirit the id... blah blah, blah, blah...
the fragmented man in search for...
for me... less of a "soul" and more of
   the sigma... the totality of what is man...
   such the fragmentation of man...
it's almost impossible to find the right sort
of geography one can orientate oneself
around...
i find man too fragmented... too splintered...
i am sure of this...
scholasticism has been replaced with
post-humanism of schematicism....
we have the supposed schematic of man...
but... this ******* genie is not going
back into his lamp...
unless he is put back together is some
jumble, some, dissection freak-show...
    why didn't i pursue a career in chemistry:
even though i studied the art (science)
until i was 21... i didn't want to be the rat
in a laboratory...
           the hamster on the wheel...
apart from the experiment that took almost
a week... synthesising esters...
the best experiment i ever conducted was
in high school... synthesising polyesters...
the event horizon of pinching plastic akin to
how you can't mix oil with water...
how oil is a layer a "tier" above the water...
this is where i am...
   schematicism... i find man trapped...
choked by pop-psychology...
putting himself back together like some...
Frankenstein's monster...
              it's painful to watch, to hear...
it lies so heavy on my heart that...
it almost makes sense to: xiao xin...
   small heart... careful heart...
                literal ******* complimentary...
overt complications / nuances of Chinese
ideograms like i have a ******* spare
day to nuance emoticons, for, ****'s, sake!
yes, because Latin script was not destroyed
by the Hebrew deity like cuneiform
or the hieroglyphs... only that in Chinese
the X could be / ought to be written as...
                                                                      Ź...
******* lemon ******* paper dragons...
squint at my ******* sour: ooh... ooh...
gist gist: ******* juicy plum Hoisin duck
sauce! mmm... ******* yummy!
get my ******* cotton spindle threads from
Sri Lanka or Bangladesh...
Europe is the existential ferment of
existential values... as useless as a fork when
you're presented with a bowl of soup!
slurp up, and hope for the soup to be clear
and have some vermicelli to boot!
but... how else to look at public conversation?
if once upon a time in medieval Europe
there was a trend for scholasticism...
that was replaced with humanism,
romanticism, existentialism...
no wonder... post-humanism...
a return to scholasticism: schematic-ism...
i should reword it as:
a day in the life of an evolutionary
psychologist...
    but, but i thought the soul does not
exist? what logic, what soul?
since, ergo, there's no god?
           somehow the Copernican revolution
could back-peddle... return to the background...
i'm with Nietzsche in my argument
against Darwinism...
   Darwinism has mishandled ontology
beyond comparison...
it hasn't even elevated our attention to detail
/ increased our fascination with the natural world...
with... mantises... with spiders...
i'd love to rid myself of my stupid
arachnophobia... in all honesty? i love spiders...
******* super freaks...
but i think i'm more fascinated with
frogs and earthworms...
   i'd love to take a selfie with a freshly shat out
tapeworm... no... i'm not scared of spiders...
just... there's never a spider
the size of a 10kg Maine **** cat when
you need one to scuttle alongside you
on a leash... ****** reality...
i just don't get it...
               if i was once diagnosed as schizoid...
for being: bilingual...
sorry... this world doesn't want me to make
sense of it... i tried... supposedly "sane" people
are not making sense any-more...
sure... i was diagnosed as X...
but... this X is sort of... it sort of has become
a backstage: ooh: oh! ****'s about to become
acquainted with the fan... time for proper ****** blitz...
i mean: i could understand Soviet style
leftism... empire solid: cheap metal...
loads of nukes... but... western style leftism
is a ******* joke-prop...
   flimsy hair-dye brigade...
and i do come from a former satellite state
of the soviet union... the Czechs still hate the Polacks
thinking that it was Polacks that moved
in the tanks into Prague in 1968... maybe...
it was a Warsaw Pact brigade...
  whatever...
                      i still have a fetish for:
die Deutsche-Zunge...
             but see... the Copernican perspective...
you can sort of ignore... great...
   we're on a pebble in an ocean of nothingness...
nothing changes...
but... Darwinism? has been hijacked...
it's... insufferable... it's so in your ******* face...
like... feminism... Darwinism = feminism...
next you'll hear: stoic darwinism... like you might hear:
cynic feminism...
horseradish load of rubbed-off *******
*******!
          i get it! i get it! stop, rubbing, it, in!
that's it... the ******* universal explanation...
like Jesus on the ******* Cross
Herr Darwin with his space in **** similis...
odd... the ancient people had knowledge
of the existence of the apes...
but... hmm... how much of a comparison is necessary?
when you start to look beyond it...
say: well... that's ugly... that's animal...
let's do something better... let's conjure the beautiful!
these days? good luck with that!
but like Nietzsche i abhor Darwinism...
when it comes to Darwinism i'm a *******
Mary Shelley advocate... Darwin throws me a monkey...
Mary throws me Frankenstein...
i'm siding with the Frankenstein...
what the hell has changed since the geocentric model
became the heliocentric model?
from the very public interactions:
we've managed to reach the "dark side of the moon"
perspective... no... this world is...
lunacentric... everyone's ******* cuckoo...
and i will, ******* die on this little hill...
with firm affirmations and said convictions...
because... why not?
but that's good... i can scribble these little "protests"
while pretending to be the... cool... collected
normie at work... and i am just that...
but inside... i'm ******* boiling...
i'm screaming... i'm Atlas wrestling with Prometheus...
but that's also good...
   because: i'm jealous...
of whom? Charles Olson... the Maximus poems...
call me stupid but... i'm jealous of those poems...
no... i could never be jealous of
ol' Ezra... hmm... King David... oh yeah: him...
to have been the man to have written the psalms...
de profundis...
     let's face it... i couldn't be jealous of king Solomon...
brothel owner...
             but with a man like Day-vid...
   to be so absorbed in music...
               my kind of man...
                  such a beautiful man...
          as sang about via Leonard Cohen in Hallelujah...
and yes... Jeff Buckley did it better...
such the glorious spectacle of the most
absorbing sort of pain... you actually want
to feel his pain... trans-empathetic....
to hell with your trans-sexuality confusions...
    oh to feel this similar... to sigh like Jeff sighed...
this hidden-rot-of-anger in me at the political
language that's current in England...
   this... ****-fist-fake-leftoid pseudo-Soviet imitations
with no grounds in reality!
blah! blah!
                    ******* more: blah! blah!
pink-hair-dye frigid pseudo-sociopathic virgins...
or is that sociopathic pseudo-virgins?!
still ******* frigid... not good luck either left
or right when trying to shoot a load...
          i'm 35 and already tired of life...
libido insomnia... war-esque perpetuated: also
insomnia... but... clearly, apparently:
no ******* war... not the sort of wars one might
conjure when having to conscript civilians...
back-of-the-head sort of "wars"...
              shape-shifting chess... the horses ate too many
rotting apples... became drunk... stumbled...
then had a Picasso diarrhoea session of...
E-HA! let's paint! oh no... this world doesn't bother me...
it's just a massive ******* joke to me...
it's counter intuitive...
if... i were placed... in a more primitive society...
there wouldn't be a talk of a Bernie Ecclestone...
     there wouldn't be a Rod Steward...
            believe me... if Darwinism was to be done...
proper... men like me...
we wouldn't be restricted from utilising our...
naturally gifted capacities... of... wrath-thirst...
how we must have... nuanced it... hid it...
                oh... but those feminists and their:
patriarchal construct arguments...
       sure... it's only safe... when you have a boxing match...
but... i know it: there's a terrible beast sleeping
in me... i know it... when i... sometimes relax...
drinking my white wine aphrodisiac...
when having two sessions of exercise...
and then... ******* the brains out of a Turkish
******* in a brothel...
but... no no no... if Darwinism was true...
               i could follow a Longshanks... an Edward...
we're doing counter intuitive things...
Napoleon? and then, what? ******?!
the latter i can understand as a sophist / rhetorician...
whatever...
           if i were to exercise my natural rights...
if i were to exercise my natural rights...
i wouldn't have to deal with these *******'s worth
of social constructs of appeasing the time-wasting weaklings!
if i were returned to my natural state...
rather than these... polite... politeness-titillating:
Christian *******'s worth of timidity...
i hate it...
                                         everything about this world
is unnatural, counter-intuitive, overtly-feminine,
weak, pardonable, fake...
horror-stricken, worth demanding more of,
too ******* "artistic"...
       smelling of a mingling of acid and rotten eggs...
in a world where society delves into
the appreciation of staged violence...
but abhors actual violence...
    this phobia stricken conglomerate of weaklings...
if Darwinism was done: right and proper...
no... you wouldn't have these sordid discrepancies...
if nature had its sway...
          if only nature: had its sway...
and not the mind of man...
              the feminist angle: of the social construct
of patriarchy: would be the least of your worries...
i'm lethargic... borne from this...
hideous weakness of salvation born from
a suffering... never to be celebrated from
the advent of vitality that was once glorified in
the years B.C.
           Darwinism never promised anything,
it just hijacked the strength and overturned it
with psychologism - bogus explanations of
CUCKS! it ****** the vitality i was originally equipped
with! and what did it do?
the Star of David inversion...
what was once on top, singular...
now became a flattened plateau of a "democracy"...
i can't believe this anglophone *******...
Ezra rallied against usury...
   me? i'll rally against Darwinism...
a man of my stature should not have to bow
before someone biologically inferior
to him... naturally! naturally this shouldn't happen!
but it is... pray: send you earthquakes,
tornados, all the elemental proofs!
   but i bow, regardless...
                  with as much... hatred as can be
easily disguised... with more animosity than
hatred... and that's still: the sort that can be best
hidden... because... society expects me to do so...
but... should i ask nature...
oh... oh... nature would have a really troubling counter
narrative: that it would allow me
to exercise! ******* dim-wits, Dickensian *******
dim-wits... happily married to exercising the play
of cricket... ****-wits... English-****-wits;
such....eagerness...
the weak shall inherit the earth...
     and make it... a shored stone outside the realm
of the fertile grounding...
                if the vitality in our midst is not
protected... then... SUFFER!
you ******* schmucks! your ******* wonderbra
elect gimmicks!
*******: die! be: born of death!
             you've had your say / your sway:
my turn!
                ***** with anvil!
               you ******* pederasts!
                    **** glory! i just want to love
a woman... but... seeing clearly...
you people are making finding a woman...
a lot more difficult! ****-jobs of the dodo-project!
i'm retiring from outright verbiose
momentum... that's it...
                      i stroke my beard...
i cushion a feels for ****** of a woman...
the end... that's the *******: the end...
                          time's a tired type.

Madison and Mason si
But Qualyxian the Quest
Rendezvous with Destiny
Gonna do my level best

Xiao gives me Chinese food
I say xie xie ni
Mr. Bill Porter
Fo Guang Shan to see

Lunch at Cinco de Mayo
Alex in Tucson
What the hell's a Hoya?
We in Gamla Stan

Mason in the CAA
Colonial Assassination Association
On my knees to pray
Plus a little echolocation

         Mr. Wayne: Good luck.

Madison and Mason si
But Qualyxian the Quest
Rendezvous with Destiny
Gonna do my level best

Xiao gives me Chinese food
I say xie xie ni
Mr. Bill Porter
Fo Guang Shan to see

Lunch at Cinco de Mayo
Alex in Tucson
What the hell's a Hoya?
We in Gamla Stan

Mason in the CAA
Colonial Assassination Association
On my knees to pray
Plus a little echolocation

         Mr. Wayne: Good luck.

Madison and Mason si
But Qualyxian the Quest
Rendezvous with Destiny
Gonna do my level best

Xiao gives me Chinese food
I say xie xie ni
Mr. Bill Porter
Fo Guang Shan to see

Lunch at Cinco de Mayo
Alex in Tucson
What the hell's a Hoya?
We in Gamla Stan

Mason in the CAA
Colonial Assassination Association
On my knees to pray
Plus a little echolocation

         Mr. Wayne: Good luck.

Eliade in Chicago
Now the Bucharest 9
Judi in Georgia
Hidden divine

Xiao down the street
Veggies and rice
Cinco de Mayo
Natalie Price

Long bath tonight
Planet of the Apes
Good comes from Evil
Wine comes from grapes

Antique store is quaint
New DVDs
Sometimes from behind
3 times on my knees

       Please, baby, Please