Selina grew up in an orphanage
she was a *******
her father disappeared
after the Great War
her mother
dead from poverty
She was a Catholic
of the highest devotion
she loved Jesus
and Saint Joseph
and after she was
past schooling age (14)
she went off
to serve as a maid
for a good Catholic family
she wanted to be a nurse
but circumstance dictated
that she never could be
not enough school,
then, when she was 17
the 2nd Great War came
and women were needed
to work the steel mills
and shipyards
of Stockton England

she got a job
painting bombs
she signed little things on them
like,
take that ******,
but the job
caused her asthma to flare
so she was reassigned
as what was then known as
a postman
clopping around the streets
happily delivering mail
She met a man
named John Hartley
and she intended to marry him
her friends warned her
he's a bachelor,
a woman hater,
but he was also
quite the handsome soldier
they married
after the war
and had five children
three of whom
became nurses
proud tears falling
like rain drops
a life of hardships
which she batted away
with Christ as her shield
summed up
by her
giving her children
what she never had

It was
One of our
Childhood habits
To crumple
The wax  melting in front of St.Antony
And make new candles.

The tapers of
Thresya whose house got mortgaged, and
Selina whose wedding never got fixed, and
Anthappan who mourned his lack of offspring, and
Thankamma whose chickens died of infectious bronchitis
Stood and liquefied for us in those days.

Math test, pimple,
Cancer, wedding,
Death, visa, love,
Lost hundred rupee note,
Why, even missed periods,
Hair graying too early,
All these daily deliquesced for us
Day after day.

What did the new candle
We lighted in those days
Melt for?

We cannot see a thing
In its light now!

i trace the fire escape diagram
i hear a nurse say my exam room in a voice that is a hushed yell

and then i shape shifted
i became the door
i heard the results
of the urinalysis
the medical staff murmur
the door that was not just a door because it was also the other side
it was the end of ever feeling normal

and then i shapeshifted
i became the insulin vial
into shaking milky contents before drawing up
an addiction to survival
of marks into fat instead of veins
of hoarding life in the glass walls
of my benevolent cage

and then i shapeshifted
i became the doctor
who saw a 13 year old girl shaking
withdrawal symptoms from high glucose
promising false hopes and faith healing
promising a cure soon
promising god's love
that would never arrive

and then i shapeshifted
i became the faulty pancreas
under attack from a faulty immune system
giving it my very last push of life
i really thought i was doing the right thing
i didn't know i could **** the girl

and then i shapeshifted
i became the floor cleaner
acrid and masking the smell of the previous occupant
pressing against the girls face, etching myself into her skin
becoming the fear in her trembling hand

and then i shapeshifted
i became my mother holding her daughter
slapping her cheek
rubbing glucose gel into her gums
willing her to live

and then i shapeshifted
and i became a thin, pale girl
who just wanted to leave the hospital
but after a diagnosis the hospital never leaves you
you return for every checkup or emergency or surgery
and you never know when the end will be but
you know will die in a hospital

i just wanted to be the that girl
who did not count out 13 and half grapes like all the other kids would never even think about
i just wanted to be the ******* the other side of the door
who didn't know the diagnosis
who knew the way out
tracing an escape by heart

Carmen, Bolton, Lama, Sophie, Timothy,ScriptedSilence.
Amanda, Richard,Lily, Keith, Divine,Elle,Laura, Cne.
Sarah, Kim,Sobberingsoul, Frank,Jason, Traveler,Fran.
Moonlight,Jules, AB,Lovelyn,Beautifully Broken,Ranveer.
Fearless, Iz,BD,Neha,Selina,Shaina,Maddy, Mack,John.
Godson1,Joseph,Jay, Poetress,Claryt,Fecundeity,Abraham.
Loser,ymmiJ,Osiria,Tony,Erian­,Hanna,Elena,Empire, Mellow.
Grace, Joyce, Deep, Sassy,Jen, Untold,Nikita, Word,Suzy.
There are many more but heres a few more Great poets too.

Hi, Hello
How are you,
ask yourself how much do I want to..
get ta know huh better..
do you want to..
Your invited to enjoy my atmosphere step into my journey.
I want to get to know a side of you I dont know..
so I can touch your soul..
..CALM MY MIND and calm your mind
get to know you better..
so I can touch your reality.
Touch your emotional.. side
do u want to touch my pages of funny poetics,...  honey..
my emotional side..
I invite you to touch me mentally..be free
I'm just Selina Sharday Rose.. yea
come  touch my rose petals.. their like musical sheets.
feel me breath,  touch my heart, touch my mind.
ask can you touch my heart,
invite sharday to browse your mind..
put your hands over over my pages.. keepin me company..
its all in the policy.. touch my poetry.
Thank you... for Touchin my friendly..  touchin my pages.. I'm poetry
I'm more then what you see.. Read me.. Stay within my policy@her.poetry..
@SelinaSharday_H.E.R#POETRY

this question seems to be
a shortcut to understanding..
science is compiling and
moving the bar
to surmise a conscious location..
a rock?
a rose?
a cat named mardi?
a dog named smokey?
selina?
robert?
the usa?
the blue marble?
the vast universe?
a sigh of relief comes
when experience reports:
only consciousness is
and you and all
are that...

Hi, Hello
How are you,
ask yourself how much do I want to..
get ta know huh better..
do you want to..
Your invited to enjoy my atmosphere step into my journey.
I want to get to know a side of you I dont know..
so I can touch your soul..
..CALM MY MIND and calm your mind
get to know you better..
so I can touch your reality.
Touch your emotional.. side
do u want to touch my pages of funny poetics,...  honey..
my emotional side..
I invite you to touch me mentally..be free
I'm just Selina Sharday Rose.. yea
come  touch my rose petals.. their like musical sheets.
feel me breath,  touch my heart, touch my mind.
ask can you touch my heart,
invite sharday to browse your mind..
put your hands over over my pages.. keepin me company..
its all in the policy.. touch my poetry.
Thank you... for Touchin my friendly..  touchin my pages.. I'm poetry
I'm more then what you see.. Read me.. Stay within my policy@her.poetry..
@SelinaSharday_H.E.R#POETRY