Oral **** joke is that I wanted to come over
The oral **** joke is his bed that I agreed to lay in
The oral **** joke is I was the one who wanted to make out
The oral **** joke is whatever we call it was finished
My mind filled with guilt
It takes a society to tell a **** joke
The oral **** joke is his neck that I shouldn't have kissed
The oral **** joke is this has happened before with someone else
The oral **** joke is I am still friends with that someone else
The oral **** joke is that I never broke up with the second guy
The oral **** joke is that even with my mind filled with guilt
And my stomach turning with sickness
I still wanted him forever
The oral **** joke is I should have pushed him off
**** jokes make me wanna just die
The oral **** joke is he got to break up with me the night after
The oral **** joke is he got to start dating another girl
The oral **** joke is he didn't have to feel the guilt
The oral **** joke is he's happy
The oral **** joke is because I didn't leave I'm not allowed to be traumatized from it
The oral **** joke is because I talk about it like it was nothing
I must have wanted to do it
Of course I don't cry myself to sleep at night thinking about it or anything
No I totally didn't hurt myself over it or anything
The oral **** joke is I should have went home
The oral **** joke is I'm the one who kept kissing him even tho he kept trying to do something I was not comfortable with
The oral **** joke is the questions
Why didn't I say no louder?
And why didn't I say no more clearly?
Even tho I said it 5 times
I should have said it again
The oral **** joke is when I got home I acted like it never happened
The oral **** joke is that it was my fault
The oral **** joke is I didn't leave him

(imitated from Patricia Lockwood’s **** Joke)

The woman joke isn’t something you choose.

The woman joke is something you get used to.

The woman joke it almost becomes your livelihood.

Remember when you were little, boys had cooties, but so did girls. Imagine what would happen today if you said boys had cooties-

Nothing.

You’ll hear the woman joke when you’re way too young. The ones telling the joke probably won’t realize that the joke they’re telling isn’t a joke at all. But girls have cooties and they always will.

You’ll grow up, but nothing will change.

The woman joke is now commonplace. The norm! How can a joke be so common normal? The only people who think the joke isn’t normal are women.

The woman joke is when even the President can make the joke without consequence.

But you can’t.

The woman joke is that if you make one, it suddenly isn’t funny anymore, men will look away in disgust, and other women will say you’re degrading them and yourself.

It’s just a joke, you’d say. Even though you knew it wasn’t.

The woman joke is an expected icebreaker at a party that you learn to laugh at. When you go home at night, you shake with rage but know there’s nothing you can do about it.

How can such a joke exist? Because you do.

It was a joke they said.
But is it really?
Everytime you shoot me down with your words.
Is it really a joke?
You say things to make others laugh
I guess it feels good to know that you're funny.
But can you please stop making me the the joke?
After a while you realize tears in my eyes
you laugh and everyone else does too.

Is it a joke when I laid down in bed
and thought about all the things you said?
Is it a joke when I thought about death for the first time?
Tell me is it a joke now?
Is it a joke when you wouldn't stop and told me I was
Worthless?
I cried then.
You told me I should **** it up.
Tell me is a joke when you told me that
No one would miss me if I was dead?
I wondered in my head was it a joke?

One day they had a announcement.
Everyone wore black that day.
They said a fellow student has passed.
Your eyes widened and looked around.
When you saw my seat was empty all you said was
“She should have learned to take a joke.”

life is a cosmic joke
he said
as he drained his glass of purpose
she watched as he paid and turned to leave
his movements proving his point
for what real purpose do we have
when all we do is live and die
and whisper to deities in the sky.

life is a cosmic joke
she said
when the till was short again
and drinks were missing from their bottles
as meaning was from her existence
he watched as she left
for the very last time
from a job that she hated
like the life he despised

life is a cosmic joke
he said
as he lit up his last cigarette
and sat in the cold outside his bar
next to a homeless man
with as little hope of a good long life
as anyone else he'd ever met
in a world of perpetual sunset

life is a cosmic joke
he said
as he warmed his hands
over a dying fire
with a young man
who was lost or some such
he took the ragged gloves off his hands
and tried to feel his fingers again
in vain
as all the world is
in trying to find some hidden bliss

life is a cosmic joke
he said
as he crossed another identical street
next to a woman or maybe a girl
who was crying about a lost lover
he walked and he wandered
but he never found it
even with all his persistence
as we never find meaning for our existence

life is a cosmic joke
she said
as she wept into my hair
mascara running down her cheeks
as she told of her terrible break up
and the way he used to hit her  
and how she was glad he was gone
but how she wished he would come back
her indecision mirroring that of all the world
do we matter or are we matter
which illusion is left to shatter

life is a cosmic joke
I wrote
over and over
like some meaningful quote
as if it mattered if it was in a poem
or if someone read it
it doesn't need to be said
to be known
it stands on its own

life is a cosmic joke

i figured i would share a joke with you
my life
it's obviously a joke
because everyone seems to judge so easily
and laugh about everything
so why not share what seems to be
the funniest joke ever known?
it's funny how every ******* thing i go through
is entertainment
is a joke
what if you were the one going through this?
i guess no one would laugh at you though
look at you,
you're beautiful
and i can't compare
but why judge me when you haven't even endured
at least half the pain i have?
are you aware of how ******* difficult it is for me to live?
because all i seem to be able to think about
is dying because my life is a joke
and maybe if i died
the joke would end
because that's all i really want
i want all of you to stop laughing
at all the pain
tribulations
and trials i endure
each and every day..
maybe, if you knew what i went through,
you would be more sympathetic..
but go on, enjoy the joke
because soon, the joke will be over. //

how can you "joke", and then excuse yourself
from the "joke", by stressing you
are "joking" - in that you are actually
being serious - with an overtone of
what would otherwise be held back
subconsciously - stereotypically -
   how can you tell a "joke" -
whereby you subsequently excuse yourself
from the "joke" telling others:
   it was all, but a joke... huh?!
           that's the most clarifying misnomer
of the word joke i've ever heard:
i'm not actually telling a joke, but i am,
i must let you know, that once i tell the joke,
that i've made a joke,
   and not a degrading comment;
aren't jokes supposed to be said with
an unconscious uncontrollable *** of laughter?!
i don't think jokes that make you think
actually exist... esp. those that are said
to be supposedly "jokes" in reminder of
a schema of generating laughter...
these western court "jesters" would have lasted
about an hour in vlad the impaler's court...
to tell a joke in order to tell the person
not laughing: oh, but it's a joke!
      bad jokes deserve to be moulded
by rabie infested rottweilers,
                      salivating froth of being
                                            unfed for a week,
into francis bacon sculptures of ripped
off flesh.

what could possibly be a logical joke,
akin to: 1 + 1 = 2... ha ha! type?
i can't think of logical joke,
comedy is beyond being calculated,
it can be properly
  executed within the realm
of punctuation a drop-line...
  but that's about as far as logic
centers around comedy...
   only recently i revealed
that i am arachnophobic...
   (rob zombie - the girl who loved
the monsters)...
           i am... i see a spider
the size of a thumb...
     i'm like: jeez! get that thing
away from me!
you know how comedy exists
in logic?
             it exists in phobias...
given that phobias are illogical...
well... that's still the antonym of
logic...
  yes... i know the spider
is only the size of my thumb...
but phobias... ha ha!
there's something obvious about
the joke of phobias,
as there's also an ontology binding
them...
  arachnophobia? is spontaneous,
it's a reflex reaction...
  and that's the logical joke...
the illogical fear...
   funny... really funny...
this progressive term...
what is it... hmm...
oh!
    right!
     - this really comes as a reiteration...
how can i be, "islamophobic"?
where's the reflexive reaction
upon seeing a Muslim in full
religious attire?
where's the principle of phobia
being acted on?
the reflex reaction?
where is...
phobias are the jokes of logic,
and the comedy of logic is:
that they summon illogical
reactions to the altar of relativism...
ergo... if i'm scared of
a thumb sized spider in the shed,
i should be scared of my thumbs...
islamophobia is such a made-up
word...
what logic is logic to me,
behind the spider?
            em... i'm trying to tickle
& trickle god into all of this...
but i can't...
what sort of logic is behind
the spider?
   a spider, like all animate beings...
well... even trees are animate...
in slow-motion (phototropism)...
what logic is there?
there is no logic to them...
they are purely empirical reactionaries...
there's no logic,
because there's no consciousness
of thought,
the senses are too inclusive
of themselves,
to allow an exclusivity that
might make their being
impregnated with thinking,
fertile with thought...
ah... i see the joke...
my phobia is funny...
  but...
   ha ha...
    you want to experience
a fear of god?
          find your phobia...
sure, the spider has no knowledge
of logic, but whatever "created"
the spider has placed an irrational
fear of the spider, and lodged
it into my general standard
of logic...
i see the fear of god in a spider,
as i also see the comedy...
phobias are categorized by
irrational reflexes,
   they are a set of cognitive reflexes...
so... why is the term islamophobia
so bogus?
what... you think that when
i see a woman in a burqa
my "natural" reaction is:
a reflex, 'kin to the words:
  oh ****! a suicide bomber!
NO!
     this term is what the ancient
Greeks would call:
what the **** are you talking about?!
(said really quickly).
- but that's the nature
of phobias... and the nature
of the comedy of logic...
it is derived from phobias...
i can acknowledge the comedy
of being "afraid" of spiders...
not all...
   it's not exactly a fear...
it's not a disgust...
it's a reflex reaction i have
inherited...
       from god knows where...
  you can't associate Islam with
an attache of: phobia...
like i said... a phobia is the joke
of my own logical conclusion...
i'm laughing at the illogical
premise... my cognitive reflex
and subsequent ****** reaction...
since there is no logic
behind a spider,
only the illogical pure empirical
functioning of the being...
and... past the "illogical"
nature of the spider -
the logic of a "god"...
    **** contemplating god
using the spider,
and, "the architect" reflected
in the spiderweb...
i'm going after the joke...
but... Islam as a phobia?
last time i heard...
Islam wasn't illogical...
it was just a logic different
to my own...
so... where's the joke?
where's the grand phobic
reflexive stand?
   i'm like the ancient Greeks...
what the **** are you talking
about
   (said really quickly)...
it's no phobia to be apprehensive,
precautionary,
anticipatory...
        a bit like...
ha!
          heating up oil in a frying
pan... and the moment
just before you drop in the potato
chips one by one...
wondering...
   has the water been properly
drained from them?
or hasn't it...
and the oil will go crazy?
that's not a phobia...
   a phobia is the comedy of logic;
but Islam is a logic
of its own kind...
  a phobia is trans-national /
  trans-ethnic, trans-gender, trans per se,
universal...
     so why do i not retract
with a reflex upon seeing a Muslim
in his religious attire?
like i would with a spider
in a shed the size of my thumb?
so... what Islamo-phobia?