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Alev May 2014
Siento tu ternura allegarse a mi tierra,
acechar la mirada de mis ojos, huir,
la veo interrumpirse, para seguirme hasta la hora
de mi silencio absorto y de mi afán de ti.
Hela aquí tu ternura de ojos dulces que esperan.
Hela aquí, boca tuya, palabra nunca dicha.
Siento que se me suben los musgos de tu pena
y me crecen a tientas en el alma infinita.

Era esto el abandono, y lo sabías,
era la guerra oscura del corazón y todos,
era la queja rota de angustias conmovidas,
y la ebriedad, y el deseo, y el dejarse ir,
y era eso mi vida,
era eso que el agua de tus ojos llevaba,
era eso que en el hueco de tus manos cabía.

Ah, mariposa mía y arrullo de paloma,
ah vaso, ah estero, ah compañera mía!
Te llegó mi reclamo, dímelo, te llegaba,
en las abiertas noches de estrellas frías
ahora, en el otoño, en el baile amarillo
de los vientos hambrientos y las hojas caídas?

Dímelo, te llegaba,
aullando o cómo, o sollozando,
en la hora de la sangre fermentada
cuando la tierra crece y se cimbra latiendo
bajo el sol que la raya con sus colas de ámbar?

Dímelo, me sentiste
trepar hasta tu forma por todos los silencios,
y todas las palabras?
Yo me sentí crecer. Nunca supe hacia dónde.
Es más allá de ti. Lo comprendes, hermana?
Es que se aleja el fruto cuando llegan mis manos
y ruedan las estrellas antes de mi mirada.

Siento que soy la aguja de una infinita flecha,
y va a clavarse lejos, no va a clavarse nunca,
tren de dolores húmedos en fuga hacia lo eterno,
goteando en cada tierra sollozos y preguntas.

Pero hela aquí, tu forma familiar, lo que es mío,
lo tuyo, lo que es mío, lo que es tuyo y me inunda,
hela aquí que me llena los miembros de abandono,
hela aquí, tu ternura,
amarrándose a las mismas raíces,
madurando en la misma caravana de frutas,
y saliendo de tu alma rota bajo mis dedos
como el licor del vino del centro de la uva.*

― Pablo Neruda
Shonna Jan 2012
This is not about you.
This is not about
the transmutation
of your jail celled mind
wrapped in self-help
and cellophane.

This is not about
your new found
discovery
discovering me
and my afflictions
according to the
white man’s diction
a dictation
of my past
extracted
and examined
under the microscopic
power of time.

This is not about
your self-defined
enlightenment
when you made
a deal to unearth
the truth of HeLa
coated in dust
covered particles
of HeLa
on your nightstand
and I laid
in a grave
unmarked.

This is not about
my big lips
and thick hips
under ***** covers
running a sweat
fever on my thighs
shaking feet in stirrups
and the pain was rich
after a tight pinch
and I didn’t know
what part of me
had been snipped
to grow cold
and never die.

No, this is not about you.

This is about me.
A historic legacy
left to thrive across the time
less chains of nucleic
tidal waves
Covalent bonds
could never rival
the strides of this soul
miles beyond
the distant
COLORED ENTRANCE
something brewing
inside dividing
inexplicable replication,
readying for harvest
behind a dried tobacco field
JL  Apr 2013
Hela
JL Apr 2013
Those who see her shall never again feel the warmth of Sun
Bloodless she sits upon her obsidian throne in the palace Éljúðnir.
Alone most always in her palace she sits
It's walls are built of writhing, poisonous, black serpents
They bite at those who must visit her causing no end of pain. No respite for the
Murderers, thieves, and Oath-breakers as they build the great ship That shall one day carry her father the thief of Sif's golden hair; the evil Loki.
She feeds her captives from a silver plate called Hunger
Using her fork named Famine.
Her daughter's name is Stupidity and her handmaiden is named Senility
The threshold of her palace called Trickery!
As a corpse she silently sits upon the throne
Her left eye glowing green and her right eye deep crimson
Josephine Lnd  May 2013
someday
Josephine Lnd May 2013
some days, his eyes are full with angst
his arms down his sides, with his fists as closed as his ears
and all I want to say is I know how it is
to be so angry you don't know where to go
because the whole world lights you up like a dry stick of explosives,
how it is to have your feelings being so big they start to feel
like extensions of your limbs,
waving uncontrollably
and all you can do to avoid their friction from setting you on fire
is either to cut them off or keep your arms down your sides


but I step aside, because he can no longer take in my words
his six year old eyes are filled with the nothingness of
an anger so big and unlabeled
but someday, I will tell him and he will understand
I will tell him that even though my blood is not in his veins,
I will cleanse it from soot and silt,
I will be his human shield from this world
I will tear kingdoms apart and slay every last creeper
just to help him level up

and I will uncontrollably, explosively and unconditionally
love him

//

vissa dagar är hans ögon fyllda med ångest
hans armar längs sidorna, med nävar lika hårt stängda som hans öron

och allt jag vill säga är att jag vet hur det är
att vara så arg att du inte vet vars du ska ta vägen,
för hela världen får en att tända som en torr bunt sprängämnen,
hur det är att ha känslor så stora att de börjar kännas
som förlängningar av dina egna armar och ben,
okontrollerbart viftande
och allt du kan göra för att förhindra att deras friktion tänder eld på dig
är att antingen hugga av dem eller hålla armarna längs sidorna


men jag går undan, för han kan inte ta in mina ord längre
hans sexåriga ögon fyllda med ingentinget
av en ilska så stor och oettikerad ilska

men någon dag ska jag berätta för honom och han ska förstå
jag ska berätta för honom att även fast mitt blod inte flyter genom hans artärer,
ska jag rensa det från smuts och sot,
jag ska vara hans mänskliga sköld från den här världen
jag ska slita kungariken itu och döda varenda creeper
bara för att hjälpa honom att levla upp

och jag ska okontrollerbart, explosivt och villkorslöst
älska honom
Josephine Lnd May 2013
An empty ******* tank, but with full throttle
been running on idle on top gear,
now the engine has seized up and I
am forced to surrender every morning
to the fact
that I have to eat pills not to go into myself,
go into a corner and go under

and even though I’m on the maximum dose
there are still days when I can’t
get outside the door
just laying down, sinking through the couch, back down
to a state I don’t want to allow
but I have no other choice but to keep breathing
as if I were on ten thousand meters altitude

and I have no other choice but to surrender to
the fact that I can’t handle myself,
that I wouldn’t get up without
these forty milligrams a day
yet still I stand there with my sword drawn behind my back
can’t let the guard down unto the enemy that is reality

and now they say I have a bipolarity they
want to medicate, stabilize
my moods
I have a flawed brain, I have a flawed history
been making too many bad choices, involved myself
in too many ****** up people and got stuck
as if I didn’t have any other choice
when really I just could have opened my eyes
and see my own part of the story
  that I’ve always been looking for someone more broken than
what I’ve been,
to take care of, in stupid attempts
to drown out my own weakness

it’s as if I’ve always wanted to find excuses
for feeling the way I do, being the way I am,
that I don’t function at all
  never wanted to realize that it was in me
the fault lied
  always on the hunt for someone who could destroy me anew
so I didn’t have to see that I was already annihilated
by myself,
so I didn’t have to see that there were no hangman,
that I stood there with the axe in my own hands
and blood on my shoes

//

en tom jävla tank, men med gasen i botten
har kört på tomgång på högsta växeln,
nu har motorn skurit och jag
är tvungen att kapitulera varenda morgon
inför det faktum
att jag måste knapra piller för att inte gå in i mig själv,
gå in i ett hörn och gå under

och trots att jag ligger på maxdos
så finns det fortfarande dagar då jag inte klarar av
att ta mig utanför dörren
bara ligger, sjunker igenom soffan, ner tillbaka
till ett tillstånd jag inte vill tillåta,
men jag har inget annat val än att fortsätta andas
som om jag befann mig på tiotusenmeters höjd

jag har inget annat val än att kapitulera inför
det faktum att jag inte klarar av mig själv,
att jag inte skulle idas resa mig upp utan
dessa fyrti milligram om dagen
  ändå står jag där med svärdet draget bakom ryggen
kan inte släppa ner garden inför den fiende som är verkligheten

och nu säger de att jag har en bipolaritet
som de vill medicinera, stabilisera
mina stämningar
jag har fel på hjärnan, det är fel på min historia
har gjort för många dåliga val, har involverat mig
i för många fuckade människor och fastnat där
som om jag inte hade något annat val
när jag egentligen bara kunnat öppna ögonen
och se min egen roll i det hela
  att jag ständigt sökt någon trasigare än
vad jag själv varit,
att ta hand om, i korkade försök
att överrösta min egen svaghet

det är som att jag alltid velat hitta ursäkter
för att jag mår som jag mår, är som jag är,
att jag inte fungerar alls
har aldrig velat inse att det var hos mig
felet låg,
ständigt på jakt efter nån som kunnat förgöra mig på nytt
så jag slapp se att jag redan var tillintetgjord
av mig själv,
så jag slapp se att det inte fanns någon bödel,
att jag stod med yxan i min egen hand
och blod på mina skor
20 minuter av frihet känns det
den härliga, kyliga brisen är renande.
Små fåglar delar glädjen av en ny dag.
Solen småtittar genom träden som släpper
små löv som liknar snö.
Trädens vaggnade och vinden påminner mig
om havet. Det känns fridsamt,
Jag vill stanna kvar.

10 minuter kvar av frisk vind som blåser
genom mig, känns helande. Alla tankar
försvinner.
Jag vill stanna kvar.

5 minuter kvar av otrolig harmoni av
öppet sinne for skönhet och inget annat.
Av känslor som flödar genom mig, av att
vara en del av det hela, av att vara
älskad och uppleva detta med all sinnen öppna.

Tiden är ute men jag vill stanna kvar. Nostalgi
“A Fall Moment”

20 minutes of freedom it feels
the wonderful chilly breeze feels cleansing.
Small birds share the joy of a new day.
The sun peeps through the trees that let go
of small leaves that  remind me of snow.
The waddling of the trees and the wind reminds me
of the ocean. It feels peaceful,
I want to remain here

10 minutes of fresh wind that blows
through me, feels mending. All thoughts
disappear.
I want to remain here

5 minutes left of unimaginable harmony of
an open mind for beauty and nothing else.
Of feelings that flow through me, to be
a part of the whole, to be
loved and experience it with all senses open.

Time is up but I want to remain here. Nostalgia
In the enrolling darkness
I awake to life once more
Healing after you last left
Regrowing my heart you ripped out

I see you as you are now
The happiness and life in your eyes
The joy my suffering has brought
The remains of my heart filling your empty one

No more, life is now mine to command
To appear before you, the person you made me
While celebrating my pain with your demons
You stand shocked, the thought of me horrid

I stare into your eyes
Once a portal to paradise
Neither say a word, mutter a sound
A moment conflicted with history

I unsheathe my sword
A sword meant for the death of the devil
I drive it through your rib cage,
Puncturing your lonely heart

You stare once more at me
Blood filling your lungs
I reluct to shed a tear
Not for what was, but for what wasn't

I pull my sword out
Your blood now decorating it with honor
I step over your corpse
Warmer now then it ever was

A few places forward
Lies your new lover, a newer specimen
Around him your demons praising
I walk to him, waking him purposefully

He sees me, his last sight
A ghost from a distant past
I leave him to Hela, a ritual for her
The blood angel marks his fate

The demons I slaughter
Their words not but poison
Lies that fuelled an old life
Their corpse the foundation of a new life
The conquering of all the heavens and hells would not bring back that which I've lost.
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
Helheim isn't a place
its fires only burn inside one's head
a dark and roaring space
a tomb for the dead

Dead cogitations
pitiful victims
of a mind's limitations
and shallow benedictums

There I dwell
dark imagination
an endless pit, a bottomless well
darker still the manifestation

Thoughts shrouded in mist
Hela is waiting
by the great shadow I am kissed
and all is fading

I get lost, I don't protest
deep inside this maze
by this darkness I will be blessed
and find comfort in this haze
Realeboga M Sep 2015
"You're so cute", she giggles.
"Yes I am", I stand up and flex my muscles.
"Liking my boyfriend and ****", she blushes and looks to the clouds.
"I mean if he makes you happy then bruh heck yea", I flex my muscles again.
"I'm afraid he does...", she let's the words linger and sighs.
I Furrow my eyebrows and look at her, "You're afraid?" 
"Ee mma (yes ma'am ) ", she looks at me then returns her sight to the clouds.
I look to the clouds as well, hoping to see or read further into what she's saying. 
I see the grey clouds, bland looking, filled with so much mystery, so many questions, will it rain, will it not rain. 
I look back at her, "That he makes you happy?, kana I might be reading a tad too much into this"
She laughs,"I am, what are you picking up?"
I chuckle nervously,"‎That maybe you actually mean that this vast amount of happiness is scary and you don't know what to do with it". 
Her ****** expression changes  and her eyes glow with wariness, "Yes, exactly".
"I think you should enjoy it or something? I mean remember how we had a conversation and we don't truly believe in it. I think like just embrace it, I don't know how though", I scratch my head shrugging.
She looks at me and gives me a sad smile, "I'm enjoying it.. but kana 'monate o hela ka bosula' (Good things always end badly)", she sighs.
"That is so true. I mean I don't think we can ever be ready for that so I can't tell you to prepare yourself or always expect the unexpected because regardless of how it is it will always be unexpected. But according to Buddhist or monks they believe that if you imagine the bad to happen then it'll hurt less, I mean sure it may hurt like a ***** but it won't hurt like a ******* as it was", I look at her and smile
She looks to be in deep though, "Hmn. Monks or Buddhist are smart", she smiles back at me.
"Yea", I grin and look back at the clouds
ga  Dec 2017
Lebih Dari Hitam
ga Dec 2017
Bisakah kau lihat warna-warni hujan
Seperti kau melihat warna dalam suara
Bisikkan padaku warna langit
Karena langitku selalu hijau abu-abu

Bisakah kau melihat wajahku
Seperti aku bisa merasakan hela nafasmu
Bisikkan padaku warna dunia
Saat bibirmu menemukan tempatnya
Karena kau menyuruhku memejamkan mata

Bisakah kau melihat warna debu
Dari setiap omong kosong yang kau bakar
Bisikkan padaku warna hatimu
Karena milikku sewarna bara arang

Bisakah kau melihat warna malam
Tirai megah pentas hidupku
Kali ini biar kubisikkan padamu
Warna yang lebih gelap dari hitam

— The End —