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The Good Pussy Jan 2015
.

                             ****** Up
                        ****** Up ****
                       ****** Up **** U
                     p ****** Up  ****  U
                       ****** Up  ******
                       Up ****** Up ****
                       ****** Up  ******
                       Up ****** Up ****
                       ******  Up  ******
                       Up ****** Up ****
                       ******  Up  ******  
                       Up ****** Up ****
                       ******  Up  ******
                       Up  ****** Up ****
                       ******  Up  ******
                       Up ******  Up ****
            ****** Up                 ****** Up
      ****** Up ******     Up ****** Up
         ****** Up ****       U ****** Up
              ****** Up               **** U
*somehow that **** doesn't  look right.
*it's ****** up!  Hahahahaha.
Ishan sharma  Oct 2014
Fucked up
Ishan sharma Oct 2014
It's a ****** up world
A ****** up place
Everybody's judged by their ****** up face
****** up dreams
****** up life
A ****** up kid
With a ****** up knife
****** up moms
And ****** up dads
It's a ****** up a cop
With a ****** up badge
****** up job
With ****** up pay
And a ****** up boss
Is a ****** up pain...
Its not a poem it is actually a song but still felt like sharing it..
Just Me  Sep 2013
Fucked Up
Just Me Sep 2013
****** Up

Just a ****** up girl with a ****** up life
Not seen not heard not wanted
But that's just life isnt it?
People not caring

Just a ****** up girl with a ****** up life
Alone abused abandoned
Friends aren't there
Parents don't care

Just a ****** up girl with a ****** up life
Dejected deserted neglected
Living a lie
Begging to die

Just a ****** up girl with a ****** up life
Shattered crushed broken
Vitals failing
Everyone's bailing

Just a ****** up girl with a ****** up life
Exhausted ruined drained
Hopelessness surrounds her
Life is a blur

Just a ****** up girl with a ****** up life
Not seen not heard not wanted
But that's what life is isnt it?
*
People not caring
Cindy Long  Sep 2015
Fucked up
Cindy Long Sep 2015
A ****** up girl
In a ****** up time
With ****** up lyrics
And that ****** up rhyme
A ****** up fairytale
With a ****** up start
A ****** up prince
Holding a ****** up heart
A ****** up story
With a ****** up ending
A ****** up princess
Named ****** up Cindy.
-Cindy Long
Liz W  Jan 2011
I Fucked Up
Liz W Jan 2011
I ****** up, and I did it really badly
****** up good, although I love you madly
It was my own insecurities which drove me to it
I knew it was a bad idea, but I just didn’t give a ****
Sorry that I hurt you, left a path of destruction
I’d apologize again, but my brain is under construction
I know I ****** up, it was beyond my control
Wish I hadn’t ****** up because now I’m all alone

Should have known I would **** up, it’s been too long
My track record was clean, had to do something wrong
Don’t ask me why because I don’t have a reason
I tend to **** up everything, regardless of the season
I ****** it all up, no possibility of turning back now
I see the havoc I caused and looking back I don’t know how
I can’t tell you how bad I feel, you wouldn’t believe me
I ****** everything up, the way I always knew it would be

You probably knew I would **** up, I do it all the time
The potential was always there in the back of my mind
I held the **** up cards, and now they’ve all been played
And now I sit here useless, knowing why you wouldn’t stay
I’m not good at doing things the right way, just need to **** up
My once numb mind is burning, knowing that I cannot stop
Wish I could say it won’t happen again, that there was just no chance
But know I’m armed and waiting, to destroy the hope for romance

**** up this, and **** up that
****** it all up good
Never mind the pain or tears
Because I ****** up good
When I **** up it’s no surprise
It happens everyday
It would be nice to say that my
******* up has gone away
Lye  Dec 2018
Our Fucked Up World
Lye Dec 2018
We've all been raised in a
****** up world
With ****** up minds
I’m a ****** up girl

We’ve all been born to a
****** up race
With ****** up ideas
Coming at a ****** up pace

We’ve all seen this world as a
****** up thing
With ****** up people
Wearing ****** up rings

We all know how
****** up we are
But all we do
Is sit
And stare
At our phones
And think it will just go away
If we ignore it long enough

We’ll do this
Until the world ends
And we have no chance at stopping it
Because we are
******
The
Hell
Up
A generation,
of aggravation.
No determination,
to save our nation.

Concentrate on one,
care about no one.
And it's just begun,
the era of one.

****** up is man,
and no one gives a ****,
about our ****** up plans,
we'll destroy all of man.

****** up is man,
and no one gives a ****,
about our ****** up plans,
we'll destroy all of man.

We're the gods of war,
our people beg for more.
Enticed by the gore,
our people must see more.

Created guns,
to **** everyone.
Everyone will run,
from our mighty guns.

****** up is man,
and no one gives a ****,
about our ****** up plans,
we'll destroy all of man.

****** up is man,
and no one gives a ****,
about our ****** up plans,
we'll destroy all of man.

Driven by needs,
we created machines.
They took our work,
and kicked us to the curb.

And while this goes on,
we destroy the Amazon.
Thinking we're not wrong,
this era won't last long.

****** up is man,
and no one gives a ****,
about our ****** up plans,
we'll destroy all of man.

****** up is man,
and no one gives a ****,
about our ****** up plans,
we'll destroy all of man.
Copyright Barry Pietrantonio
Jon Corelis  May 15
Fucked
Jon Corelis May 15
You’re born and you’re ******;

and some little **** who’s an inch and a half taller than you wants your toy truck and you’re ******;

and here comes puberty and, man, talk about ****** ...

and a thousand luscious nymphs dazzle you from magazine covers and pick your pocket and you’re ******;

and you go to college and you major in history you idiot and you’re ******;

and you fall out of lock step and you’re ******;

and you make the mistake of going out walking on the street at night and a couple of predators nudge each other and smirk “Heyyyy – mug meat!” and you’re ******

and you waste yourself working for nothing but weekends and paydays and one morning you forget to smile at your boss and you’re ******;

and the years slam shut behind you and you’re ******;

and your wife wants a divorce the house the kids the car and two thirds of your salary forever and you’re ******;

and your big ideas end up in a drawer full of cancelled checks and you’re ******;

and your doctor says I’m afraid I have some bad news and you’re ******;

and they stick you with needles and tubes and people talk in whispers when they come into your room but you know that what they’re saying is you’re ******.










-----------------------------------------------­--
Copyr­­­ight 2025 by Jon Corelis

joncorelis.com
Hands Nov 2014
red you’re flowing red

your words came out like an overdose

dark gray bags and rags for clothes

black and gray and tones morose

red you’re flowing red

a ravenous cavern has eaten all our time

it felt so unkind

I lost my mind

horrible expectations—

lower them

everything drains away to the riverbed

lower then

everything remains hidden until said

lower then

everything flows out to the oceanic carpet

stomach somersault sea green

red you’re flowing red

gushing down to the gulley

you-you sound in a hurry

and complexion unsullied

wait, please wait for me

love isn’t a spectacle

feelings cannot be seen

looking over the shoulder, eyes narrowed,

hips locked in place

you call to me with a look of amusement and I can’t help but cringe

my spirit jumps out of my skin

I hope you like my body

I hope you remember my mind

I hope you know that I flattened on the floor

when you flicked me off your shoulder

and looked menacingly at the door

here I am

a cosmic ant

scurrying about with my feelers hanging low

shake it all off

pretend you aren’t a demon disguised as a simple ****

pretend you aren’t a newspaper clipping in the wind

a single-day story

filler on the news

speech in a bottle

drifting on the sea

a lonely dance hall made for people

to shake off empty flesh

in flakes of gold and steel and lead

what a waste

as it falls onto the floor,

flowing into the drain directly in the center

inch long nails digging in

just like we see on TV

I have to agree

it’s disgusting

but we all have to do it sometimes

****** in the car, whorechild

three years later and I’m ****** on the floor

I’m ****** on the sofa

I’m ****** on the futon

I’m ****** in a stranger’s bed every night

****** by nameless, faceless specters

of masculinity mixed with contempt

users and abusers who love to dissect

but only when *****.

well **** me I’m so tired of being ****** by everyone else

I’m ****** on the street

I’m ****** on the stairs

I’m ****** in the bathroom

I’m ****** in the air

I hang there

a modest bauble on the Christmas tree

no fancy lights lingering on my surface

only the darkness and me

build a house in the middle of the desert and fill it with water

open the door and it all gushes out

draining in tiny valleys and pathways carved from the silent sand

used-up little fool

empty vessel for a ghost

empty vases filled with dead tulips

and a sink filled with ***** water

sunlight has long since left

it’s so simple to see—

only the darkness and me.

this is socialization,

running to work

running to the store

running straight home

running out of places to run

distrust before you disguise the beggar

lying in a pavement grave meant

to be a home

slimy fingers sticking up there—

disassociate—

break—

imagine a world without any *******

imagine a world that is free;

I am only filled more with hate

each time you penetrate

I lose a little more gold

a little more water

a little more spirit

a little more soul

each time you **** me

all I can see is red,

flowing red

draining in the stagnant pools of the narrow bed
all on the tiniest bed
Johnny Noiπ Oct 2018
|.|
The **** of the Sabine Women was an incident in Roman "mythology" in which the men of Rome committed the mass **** and abduction of young women from surrounding cities, most notably from Sabine where it is thought the women were nearly all natural redheads; by mythic talisman standards, possessing a natural magical ability. Hence, the Sabine women were born witches whom the Romans hoped to subjugate through force, but feisty as a race the Sabines ran off leaving the | Romans with their own native albeit comparatively homely Roman women.
It is thought the Sabine either joined with and subsequently mated with the few surviving Satyrs and became the basis for the later legend of the | Amazons. 343v (3, xxb) 12163168 3300
16 ABC 3 3 (200),
                         Dawn (lifestyle and music) especially (lifestyle and music),
musicians: (i.e. Yjtri powerful Greek, Italy (SBA)
10, 2012 (60) 12, 100; 100 34 / (3 ABC) 12163168 ICC
and Spain since 3300 - 3 16 (c) and the last (3) (3)              (2, 1500 is blue
and the world neberi.yešēyitochi female) - 1683 1004 342 VFS (3) ج
xxb you sick,           and early deep water soup and the United States,
Frank, and other places unknown unknown unknown
right Uranium Women Kids Peace Center and drink, ||
drink, drink, do you say Teristically
Let's go somelace to Drink -  & party with 20 Greek
women
and the handsome L. emet'a iguwiwiši abbiini
and many
                                       women were drinking and drinking and drinking
absinthe & Bejlavie "phenomenal"
"growth" in the jaws,
and there is an outside mamy| ...      waiting to get taken up
2018 (62) 12, 100, 100 against the rejection
of Italy (Saba)
10, 2018  (62) 12, 100, 100                [Hard drinking
Albanian witches  fck anything, I've seen them ****
true stumps;  I mean, tree, tree ... tre
||343v (3, XXB) 12.163.168 3300 16 ABC 3 3 (200),
Don is (especially into his
lifestyle and music              (lifestyle and music),
composer (i.e. astronomer with sovereignty over
Greece & Italy (SBA) 10, 2012 (60) 12 , 100;
100 34 / (3 ABC)
12.163.168 ICC and Spain 3300-3 16 (C)
                                          and last (3) (3)
(2, 1500 blue and world neberi.yešēyitochi female)
- 1683 1004 342 VFS
(3) ج XXb you sick and early and deep water soup
and the United States,
Frank and other places unknown unknown    
            [unknown Ukrainian woman] Children's Peace Center and drink,  
drink and drink,                     you say 20 Greek women and all beautiful - -
L. emet'a iguwiwiši abbiini and many other women
were drinking                        with "extraordinary" growths in their jaws
and drinking  ||
and drinking,                   And an external older 'mami' 2018
(62) 12, 100, 100
against the rejection of Italy (Sabah)
10, 2018 (62) 12, 100, 100.343v (3 xxb)         12163168 3300 16 ABC 3 3
(200) Don (lifestyle,
particularly music), composite (i.e. forced by the Greek Praedictionibus Astronomicus, Italy
(SBA) 10, 2012 (60) 12, 100, 100 34 / (3 ABC)                   16| 3300-3
12,163,168 ICC and Spain (100) and finally (3) (3)
                              (2, 1500 blue and Neberi.yešēyitochi World Male) - 1683 1004 342 VFS (3)
"(yeš ēyi touch it)" and dybhavssuppe               and the United States,
France unknown Uranium                           and other places unknown
unknown woman at the center of the                   peace and drinking,
drinking and drinking,                        and they say 20 Greek women
and two for L. emet'a iguwiwiši - - there is plenty abbiini,
much, much to drink "extraordinary" growth edged
beverages and mixed drinks;                                      ******* Asian
Yuka Ozaki                 umiliated & throat destroyed; First Time
*******               and a remote old  mami 2018 (62) 12, 100, 100
who is  [Throat ****] 343v (HTV) 3 12163168 16, 3300 3 3 (100) Money
                                     ((ABC's, music, astronomy))
Grek mildettüü türdö baaloo, SBA 2012-10 (60)
ICC 12163168 Zana Spain 3 1683 1004 342
amerikalyk Dibbosuppa: 2 kök 1500 düjnö Neberi.eiesiitochi Erkek),
                                   "The beetle" is the abbot \ of the ******'s "house"                                          Italy (FTA)
Mindy degraded] sued for libel against the rejection
of Italy (Sabah) 10, 2018
(62) 12, 1343v (3ХХВ) 12163168 3300 16 ABC 3 3 (200)
Don's (way of life, especially music), composite (i.e. compelling
the Greek Praedictionibus Astronomicus, Italy (SBA) 100 34 / (3 ABC) 16 3300-3 12163168 ICC and Spain (100) and ending (3) (3)
(2, 1500 blue and Neberi.yešēyitochi                           Face ****** & *****
slammed by the (World Man) - 1683 1004 342 VFS (3)
and dybhavssuppe)          and the United states,                  France unknown,
Uranus and elsewhere Unknown;
Petite Black ** ****** By Two Merciless *******
for sad ****
Unknown woman in the center of a **** circle,                            drinking it,
                                  drinking and drinking alcohol,
and they say 20 Greek women and two for L. e's
                                      met'a iguwiwiši abbiini;
for much more drinking the "extraordinary";
on the edge growth beverage and other beverages,
and a distant mommy's 2018 (62) 12, 100, 100 Face ******
& DP'd first timer breaks down from defamation
and the rejection of Italy's (Sabah) |||
10, 2018 (62) 12, 100, 100 00, 100|||
343v (3 HTV) 12,163,168 3300 16 ABC 3 3 (200)
Don (way of life, especially music), composite
343v (HTV) 3 12163168 Chubby Latina Gets Pounded By ****
16, 3300 3 3 Banks (ABC's, Music, Astronomy)
Greek mild ettüü türd-ö balloon,
SBA 2012-10 (60) ICC 12163168
Zana is from Spain 3 1683 1004 342 United States of America
Neberi .eiesiitochi Erkek ),                "'Beetle' is the beginning of the Virgil"
Italy (ALS)
(which were forced by the Greeks according to the              Praedictionibus
                                                                ­                                  Astronomicus,
and Italy (SBA) 2012 10 (60) 12, 100, 100 34 /                        1 ( 3 ABC) 1
6 3300-3 12163168 ICC and Spain (100)
and ended (3) (3)
(2, 1500, at the bottom of the blue world
Neberi.yešēyitochi Male)
- 1683 1004 342 VFS (3)    and the United States
and dybhavssuppe;  unknown unknown unknown
uranium sent to France
and other places where a woman
is in the midst of the party peacefully
drinking and drinking, her sweet throat brutalized
and they say the two women were transferred                                   to
20 Greek For a Rough   Interracial *******
emet'a iguwiwiši abbiini:
much to drink "extraordinarily"                                    'edgy' drink beverages
growth and a remote Virgil's
2018 (62) 12, 100, 100 libelous slander against
the rejection of Italy (Sabah) 10, 2018 (62) 12, 100, 100343v
(3 HTV) 12163168 3300 16 ABC 3 3 (100) Don (way of life,
especially music), the union (forced by the Greek
Praedictionibus Astronomicus, Italy (SBA) 2012 10
(60) 3 ABC) 16, 3300 with 3 12163168 ICC and Spain (100)
and at the end
(2) (3) (2, 1500, blue world Neberi.yešēyitochi Male)
- 1683 1004 342 VFS (3) and the United States young
desperate and hungry: |                                          Loud **** gets epic *******
& forced to do oral unknown unknown places
where uranium
in France,       another unknown woman gets in the middle
of the peace, Amy Gets Her Latina Throat ****** &
drinks **** and drinks alcohol,  while another Blonde ***** gets skull ******
hard,
saying Bleach Blonde Latina Gets Throat ******
that the two women transferred over    \   to the Greeks
20 emet'a Latina Amy Gets Her Sweet *** ******;
iguwiwiši abbiini too to drink...
The "extraordinary"      Lexi Marie Gets Her *****
Pounded By A Rough Stud on the
Edge;            budding development
and drinking the drinks 343v (HTV) 3 12163168 16,
3300 3 3 Banks (ABC, music, astronomy) Greek
mildettüü türdö baaloo, SBA 2012-10 (60) ICC 12163168
Zana Spain 3 1683 1004 342 United States of America
Neberi .eiesiitochi Erkek), "Beetle" -
"this is the beginning of Virgil"
Italy (ALS)                       at a distance from Virgileus,
Loud Emo ****-Poetess Get **** deep in her Throat;
& ****;  2018 (62) 12, 100, 100 defamation, |
slander rejection in Italy (Sabah) 10, 2018 (62)
12, 100, 100343v (3 HTV) 12163168 3300 16 ABC 3 3              (100)
Don (way of life, special music), union (forced First Time **** Ends
In Tears,  by the Greek Praedictionibus Astronomicus, Loud Latina
Gets Big ***** In Her *** In Italy (SBA) 2012 10
(60) 3 12163168 ICC and Spain at the End,
Big ***** Latino Mom Takes Huge ****
In Her Throat & ***** (2) (3) (2, 1500,                                       blue world
Neberi.yešēyitochi Male) - 1683 1004 342 VFS (3)
and the young and dybhavs supper of the United States:
uranium in France where another unknown woman
in the midst of the peace,                      |Latina Is Chained Up And ******|
drink and drink and say that the two women
were transferred over to the Greeks 20
emet'a iguwiwiši abbiini also to drink;                                    This is Anne - -
                                  "excellent" edgy development |||
and drink drinks at a distance from queer                         Virgileus  2018 (62)
12, 100, 100 defamation, slander rejection in Italy (Sabah)
10, 2018 (62) 12, 100, 100343v (3 HTV)           12163168 3300 16 - ABC 3 3
(100) Don (way of life, Extreme ******* & DP for the black teen ||
special (music) union (forced to read Praedictionibus Astronomicus:
[Greece, Italy (SBA) 2012 10 ***** Gets ****** In Their ***]
(60) 12163168 ICC and Spain 3 and at the end (2) (3)
(2, 1500, blue world Neberi.yešēyitochi Male) - 1683 1004 342 VFS (3),
and young and United States dyed behavioral supper:
uranium in France where another unidentified woman
is pulled inside, Big boobed ***** girl face ******
deep and hard drinking and drink ****,    343v (3 HTV) 12163168 3300 16 ABC 3 3 (100) Money (lifestyle, especially music) Compounds (forcing Greece to Praedictionibus Astronomicus, for SBA 2012 10 (60) 12163168 ICC and Spain 3 1683 1004 342 VFS (3)                   Young and American dybhavsupppe: Uranium drink and drink and tranquilizers;
Another unknown woman in France, and (2) (3) (2, 1500,         blue world Neberi.eyesyitochi male) Come emet'a iguwiwiši abbiini
and drink the edge of "excellence"
                                            development,   and drink Virgil drinks
Defamation Statements Italian (Sabah) 343v (3 HTV) 12163168 3300 16 ABC 3 3 (100) Money (Lifestyle, especially Music) Compulsory Compulsory Classes Greek Astronomy, SBA 2012 10 (60) 12163168 ICC and Spain 3 1683 1004 342 American Dibbosuppa: (2),
2, 1500, blue world Neberi.eyesyitochi male)
"emili" iguwiwiši abbiini "Drink Virgil"
Italy (Sabah)
10, 2018 (62) 12, 100, 100
Rough Interracial doggy & riding
and passed around;
              say that the women passed
out on the Greeks ||                         |
20 emet'a iguwiwiši abbiini                    and that the drink
is "excellent"
on the edge of development, and drink the drink of Virgil
2018 (62) 12, 100, 100, defamation, slander charge in Italy
(Sabah) 10, 2018 (62) 12, 100, 100 Loves To Get Tag
Teamed  And Face Fucked343v (3 HTV) 12163168 3300
16 ABC 3 3
(100) Don (lifestyle, especially music) compounds
(forced Praedictionibus Astronomicus to Greece, |
Italy (SBA) for 2012 10 (60) 12163168 ICC and Spain 3
(100) end (2) (3) (2, 1500, the blue world Neberi.yeseyitochi Male)
- 1683 1004 342 VFS (3), and the young       and US dybhavssuppe:
uranium to France and another unknown woman inside,
drinking and peace of drinking, and say that this is
what the two women came to Greece for!
20 emet'a iguwiwiši abbiini and drink "excellent"
end of development, **** ****** Gets Her *** Slammed | |
and drinks Virgil's **** while he drinks drinks
[20 African migrants pile-on a naked tourist, from a young male
migrant; screammming, "no!' No one underss\tands;
steamy, overheated traffic, horns blazing exhaust;
human pollution blocking the roads
& cops avoid the smell of ***** & **** on their \n ragged,
filthy bodies; the streets are filled with crawling children
and beaten women covered in raw sewage; |
chasing children like rats | prostitution is down:
it hasn't rained|
2018 (62) 12, 100, 100, defamation charge
                                  of defamation in Italy
(Sabah) 10, 2018 (62) 12, 100, 100 |||***** ** With A Fat ***
Gets Pounded343v (HTV) 3 12163168 16, 3300 3 3
Organizations (ABC, music, astronomical) Greek mildettüü
türdö baaloo, SBA 2012-10 (ICC) 12163168 Spain Spain 3 1683
1004 342 United States of America Never mind. Cicero is a *******),
"Bees" "this is the origin of Virgil"               Italy (ALS)343v (HTV) 3 12163168 16, 3300 3 3 Companies (ABC, music, astronomical)
Greek mildettüü türdö baaloo,                SBA 2012-10 (ICC) 12163168
Spain Spain 3 1683 1004 342                               America of America's
Neber .isero Erkek), "The pi"
"This is the cause for Virgil"
                  ******* Italians (ALS)
PrttyBrd Apr 2018
I
am
******

and not in a clawing flesh, body convulsing, banging headboard kind of way

that kind of ****** I can rock the **** out of.

No
I am more the
twisted mess of forced misconception
enlightened by time innocence forgot
forced into a life guided by trust in the lies truth told

Yeah,
it's the end of life as I know it
that's the kind of ****** I am

I knew joy
it was based on trust in what was true

I knew love
it was built on that same foundation

So yes,
I am ******
this mess of **** crumbling to pebbles while blinding me in the dust of my own ignorance
is anything but blissful

and all I hear are the cries of beautiful dying
not that dying is beautiful, though it can be
but of the death of beautiful things
of things I found implicitly lovely
the painful dying of all I believed was good

I am so ****** sideways

protected by others
I can no longer say for certain who I am
or who I believe myself to be

****** hard and unrecognizable
***** into truth by the kindness of others

No more questions because I am ****** that way too
no one wants to hear their old news and ***** laundry

I knew love once
now all I love, I question
reliving my choices in reasons why
trying to piece together my life had I always known
trying to define how I love by my own definitions
and not by what I knew love to be
because that love never existed
only in my ******, shattered memory

So, hey
guess what
I used to love you
now it's tainted with yesterday's **** streaks

I'm still me
But boy
am I ******
41718
298w
Voice clip:. https://drive.google.com/file/d/14k4Lbkm4_S8z9zfBWmKe0Fyu2SlHT1x9/view?usp=drivesdk

copy link into address bar to listen
Andrew Rueter  May 2020
Fucked Up
Andrew Rueter May 2020
I live in the absence of presence
proximity filled by emptiness
I look for a god in the machine
but the schematics are held by noncompliant fingers
tightly clutching my rightful deeds
and pointing in the opposite direction.

I’m alive so I feel compelled to live but don’t know how
so when I want to have a night I’ll never forget
I get ****** up
and when I have a night I never want to remember
I get even more ****** up
I think I’m having a good time
but my memory is pretty ****** up.

But something shines through my ****** up memories
a vision of when we first met
you asked me, “What are you up to?”
I misheard you and responded, “Yeah, I’m ****** up too.”
then we talked about this ****** up zoo
and how we could help each other through.

The connection we develop engenders nightmares
I have two kinds of ****** dreams
the ones where I have *** with people I don’t want
bizarre **** like relatives and ghosts
even ghost relatives—and relative ghosts
those dreams can get pretty ****** up
but the dreams where I’m with the people I want
are factored by the power of two
and are exponentially more ****** up.

The dreams become fantasies I can’t reconcile with reality
burying me in insecurity
thinking what keeps me alive is impossible to hold onto like air
I keep wildly grasping in desperate futility
suffocating in deprivation
until eventually I can’t feel anything anymore.

You notice my weakness and attack
you’re a vampire bat
echolocating past relationships you enjoyed more
I tell you you ****** up
and now must slum with a *** instead of number one.

I keep eating up your batshit insanity
contracting your coronavirus
I just want to sleep
I feel like I’m going to die
your fever dreams are sweat submerged stress nightmares
once I start drowning I try to scream
but all that escapes me are the bubbles I live in
they float on the surface, eventually popping.

You keep calling me a clown
so I joke you can juggle my *****
with dismissive sarcasm you respond I should try stand-up
but that’s already what I’m doing
you tell me to jump off a cliff
but I already have
exasperated, you scream I should literally **** myself
but I already write of my own death every night.

You separate from me like a head from a neck
after the noose that tied us together severed our connection
I fell to the ground and realized I was still alive
and started downplaying the bounty on my head
which seems much larger when one sees it on a wanted poster.

I’m not looking for a person
I’m searching for a feeling people are capable of delivering
I don’t care where I find it as long as I do
people often ask me if I’m more attracted to men or women
I find the question somewhat annoying and I’d rather not answer
but if you forced me to choose by putting a gun to my head
that might turn me on even more.

— The End —