"This town is dead," he said. We sat on the old stone bridge, with our feet dangling over the steady creek. "Where's Kacey?" I asked, hitting my cigarette, then passing it to see if he wanted some. He took a puff and looked off into the distance. "Probably still back at the house. Ya know, it sure is some *******, man. We fight, and she takes his ******* side." He hands me the cigarette. I gesture to him to keep it. "Thanks," he sighs in a slight relief. He seems stressed enough. I can always buy a new pack.
I take out my current one and pop a new cancer stick in my mouth. I shuffle around in my pocket to find a lighter, and spark it up. The nicotine on a cold, grey winter day like this has the perfect bite. I inhale, lick my chapped lips, and exhale. "Dude, it's just because he is younger. Remember how annoying we were when we were seventeen?" I pull his beanie over his face, hoping to at least get a smile. He lets a slight grin escape his aggravated demeanor, and slaps my hand away. "Yeah, you're still that **** annoying." We laugh for a brief moment, then the calm settles in again.
I look to my left: brown grass, dead trees, and playground that has been neglected for months. Then, to my right: Eric, flicking the cigarette, the old auto parts plant, more dead grass, and the road. Everything has a grey and pale blue tint. This is what winter brings. Eric scoots back and stands up. He brushes gravel off his pants, "I gotta head out. Ally has to go to work, she needs me to drive her. You want to come?" "Sure, I don't have **** to do anyways."
We hop in the car and drive off. I lean out and look at the stores in the town square as we cruise through: Barber, antiques, diner after diner. He's right: this place is dead. "Hey," Eric slaps my chest. Impact is reduced thanks to my puffy jacket, "Do you think Ally is just slutty enough to settle for a guy like me?" He smiles and looks in the mirror. Peeling off his beanie, he exposes his blonde, messy hair. To be honest, he wasn't that bad looking when he tried. Maybe if he would just shave that creepy soul patch. "You know her better than I do, man," I say, "I mean, she asked you for a ride to work. I wouldn't look too far into it."
The thing is, I don't want him to get his hopes up. This past summer, she and I slept together a few times. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she'd roll over, do a line of coke, then say she has to go somewhere. Easy to say, we were just **** buddies. The part that is ******* though: anyone I know who has messed around with Ally, gets trapped in this abyss of feelings. She makes you fall in love with her. But it's so hard to love her, too, because she's so strung out and scattered. These days you can't even tell if she's high or not. It has just become her.
We finally get to her apartment and wait outside. I see her starting to come down from the third floor. Black and white Converse High-Tops with black stockings. They have a few runs and holes in them from our wild nights. She wore them the night we first had ***. Then a pair of frayed, high waisted, black shorts. She always knew exactly what to wear to show off her thin body. And finally, a simple black tank top. Her hair was in a messy, blue bun. Tattoos disbanded all over her body. Small simple ones, because she could never save up enough money to buy an actual normal one.
"Hey, *******!" She says as she crawls into the backseat, pushing empty cigarette packs and fast food bags to the other side. "What's up Ally?" Eric says, looking her up and down with a giant grin on his face. "Oh, ya know," she sighs as she digs through her purse. "Do you mind running by the gas station before you take me to Moonie's? I need some aspirin and a pack of Marlboros." "Moonie's? I thought I was taking you to work, not the bar! God ******, Ally, if you want to drink I'll just buy us a bottle. It's much cheaper, and you can get as ****** as you want." Eric had no subtlety to the fact he wanted to get her wasted. "No, **** face. I work there."
Eric and I just look at one another.
"When the hell were you going to tell me you work there?" He says, overjoyed. "I didn't want you dragging a sweetheart like Syd down there to be a little pervert," she says jokingly. It's not like I haven't seen it all anyways. "Besides, I'm not on the stage....yet. I'm just bartending"
  We made it to the gas station. Ally starts scrambling through her purse, pulling together wadded up bills. The sound of medicine bottles fills the car. Midol, migraine medication, and various other pills (and, honestly, I wouldnt be surprised if they weren't originally hers) "Okay," she said with a deep breath of relief,"I'll be right back." She hops out of the car and dances a small, hungover sway, one foot over the other. Eric and I watch as she heads in. I observe her tendencies, motions, and body language. Such a broken soul intrigues me. How is she okay with this? I feel protective of her, but desire a release. How does one care for such a soulless being? She finds her peace in stranger's arms. I was a stranger when we got together. Once we got close, she started at it again with the mystery men. Eric, he doesnt watch her, really. He stares. The guy might as well be drooling, standing on all fours like a dog. He doesnt observe her, notice the little things. He lusts for her body, much like all the others. She has that air about her. She could make the Pope sin, for God's sake. It's almost pure evil in that skin, but I know there is something fighting. She couldn't have always been like this.
I must have spaced out, we're already pulling away from the parking lot. "Here," she says in a spunky and proud tone, as she tosses a pack of Newports up to Eric. "God bless!!" He shouts, closing his eyes in rejoice, "I've been out all day, bumming off of Syd, here, the past couple hours." He reaches over and pats me on the cheek. I shoo him away and turn up the radio. Arctic Monkeys, a black and white dream flows into my head. Saving her, but nothing could. I could grab her head and push it up against the wall, hold the needles, pipes, and pills infront of her, beg her to stop, and all I'd get is a smirk. I know it. No ***** given.
We arrive at Moonie's. Blacked out windows, purple and red paint, black velvet door. It's the only ******* for miles around and tends to stay busy. Who would think I's spend my days here as a young adult, when I went to church right up the road when I was kid.
We walk in and sit at the bar. The only place i can drink at besides friend's houses. Moonie's son runs the joint now. His dad opened the place forever ago, long before any of us were even considered, or unwanted for a select few. Moonie, apparently, was like a small town Hugh Hefner, had his pick of the ladies. Messed around with his top dancer and had this *******, Todd. "How's it hangin'?" Todd asks Eric and I as I reach for the ashtray. It's ******* weird, no doubt. Todd looks like a middle school teacher who would spend his time writing in a coffee shop, not running a ******* or holding an impressive amount of assault charges. Curly brown hair, like Corey Matthews from Boy Meets World, skinny and tall. Button down flannel, fitted blue jeans, and the beard to top it off. Looks like a young dad, acts like it too. He looks after the "troubled youth" in this place. He provides love, ***, and drugs for those without. I've crashed a few times on his couch. He's charming, which would make sense to him being Ally's current weakness. I catch the glances they share as Todd awaits for either Eric or I to finish a drag on our cigarettes to answer. Now I understand how she got the job.
"Uh," I say, exhaling smoke, "It's good man. Eric here shut down into "Little *****" mode with his mom again." Todd and I laugh as Eric slumps down. His eyes fidget for a moment, as he searches for a comeback. "Dude," he says, as he places his hand down calmly on the bar. He closes his eyes, and slowly whispers,"I swear to God, **** her." Eric sounds breathy and comedic, yet you can hear the truth in it. He and his mother never got along. He always idolized his dad, who left a long time ago. He says a lot that he wishes his dad took him along, and got him out of this town. He really hates it here. "I've seen your mom," Todd smiles and shakes his head as he breaks out three shot glasses, "and I would most definitely **** her. You can call me 'Daddy *******'." "Absolutely not, you **** head," Eric says, choked from trying not to laugh, "Touch my mother, and you die. Last thing I want is another little ******* sibling, let alone, one related to you." he says, now laughing at his own joke. I must have no sense of humor, because none of this is funny. My parents raised me to respect women. I've seen Eric and Todd, both lay hands on Ally. She would get too drunk and start yelling and *******. Granted, she antagonized them, but they know her. She's too ******* little to REALLY fight. Luckily, it's never gotten past a few slaps and slams.

It was a story of Eric the writer love life
He wrote from his heart like he needed comfort and advice
Eric had met Emily, his long loved romantic friend
Offspring of love that would often begin
It was a friendship at first
Then reversed into a loving outburst
Eric and Emily dated for 5 years
It was romance that seemed to advance
The Full Moon nights were the given chance
But suddenly the love fire had burned out
Emily stated to Eric she was moving on
Yet Eric felt they were getting along
Emily informed Eric, she met another Guy
Eric was full of questions and wanted to know why?
Emily felt Eric was boring and not romantic
Now Eric tried his best
But Emily has a right in her confess
Emily suggested that the other Guy was her true man
When the lights went out, he was at Emily’s demand
Well Eric wrote the way he felt
It was his story in how he dealt
He had nothing to prove
Yet it was his writing as Therapy in helping him soothe
Eric moved on as well
It took real courage in story in tell
Eric’s writing became a good catch
He attracted Susan who became his match
The one word that came back was LOVE
Later, it was writing together ever after.

John and Eric
had gone to New Orleans
to get drunk,
so when they saw the girl
hanging over the railing
of the balcony
pulling her shirt
up and down
up and down,
they hurled beads at her
aiming for the top of her head
so that they'd
circle the drain of her neck
in a circling, shimmering starlet
down
her shoulders.

"Come down here," John yelled.

The girl pulled down her halter-top
one more time,
exposing two
globes of bouncing flesh.

Thinking he had said,
"Pull them down."

It was so loud and everyone was whistling
and there wasn't just a single color of light;
the aura from the club
was a nebula of parti-colored flashing.

later that night
she did come down.

She bumped in between John and Eric
as they navigated her through the crowd
trying their hardest to keep her
from falling over and puking,
while trying to do the same
for themselves.

She hung to them like they were long singular beams of steel.
When she rolled her head around at them
she remembered that they looked
hard and unknown.
And while holding her
in the crooks of their arms,
they maneuvered the flesh in their jeans
with their free hands,
trying to subdue the worlds
rising out of their pants
like volcanoes.

They got her back to the hotel.

A small room
with a tiny old bed, with flower-print
comforters and
an antique dresser with swirling
sculptured wood at its corners.

John slipped off his black leather jacket
and shook his mop of
curly black hair.

Eric plopped onto the bed,
pulling her with him.

She felt him pull,
she felt the gravity of him;
the warp as she bumped against
the bed.

"You guys should come back next year."

"Maybe," Eric said.

She didn't know if she was here or not.
If she'd been here the whole night
or if she was dreaming.

But she felt something physical
on her body.

Eric sat in the corner--
beside the humming a/c
as it vacuumed out the room--
watching with lifeless eyes.

It moved across her stomach.
Slow and continuous.
It moved down to her
pelvis,
slow and continuous.
It reached inside of her
slow and continuous,
and she felt the vacuum of space.

John and Eric
tag-teamed her.

Eric
taking her mouth
and working it around his *****,
saying
"Come on baby,
****."

John pushing against her
his glowing body
making a slapping noise
as he struggled
with his hands under her stomach
making hard dimples of flesh
on her mid-section
as he tried to hold up
her limp body.

"She's out cold,"
he said.

She sent a package
tied in this biege tweed cord.

It turned out to
be a picture of you two
at the lake,
that day it was cold
and she wore that beanie with the flames,
her hair all curly and escaping,
your lips all red and chapped.

A folded note tucked on the inside
of the frame reads:

"I have Connie,
*******

Love always,
smiley-face,
smiley-face
smiley-face,
smiley-face,
me."

­Connie: your/her rat terrier.

You put the picture
in its black frame
on the tv table.

The tweed
you nail
to two spaced planks
on the wall above the tv.

It's like abstract
modernist-expressionist-
constructionist-art.

It's just one string.

A taut cord
of brown tweed.

The black night comes,
over and over,
over and over,
she doesn't return,
but the tweed remains
as taut as a fingernail
or an exposed artery.

Somehow
it's so human and obstinate
that the woven vertebrae
seems to curve minutely
and femininely.

As time passes,
the tweed moves
from beige
to golden
and gravitational.

A call to a friend goes something like this:
"Come over here, I've got this amazing thing on my wall."

The friend, Eric,
calls more friends.

The friends come over,
all piling around this golden tweed
after they've taken stock of the kitchen
and Wild Turkey.


They take turns
plucking it,
thumbing it,
putting their ears to it,
and studying it,
all
at your insistence.

Somebody,
******* Eric,
coughs in the room.
More people begin to cough.

Eric walks up
to the the string,
that is nailed at top
and bottom
on two spaced planks.



Eric gives it a final hard tug,
snapping it like a belt.

the tweed hums and shivers off a few flakes
of dust and amber material.

"I've just wasted five minutes
with this thing,"
Eric says

to the string,
and you.

Eric speaks for the group.

He turns and leaves,
taking the whole group of
twenty
with him.

They trail behind Eric
like a great, long tail
flicking
and knocking things over
in your apartment
out of sheer agitation
on the way out.

The golden gravity subsumes you.

You do not close the door behind them,
you can't even hear their tiny, black voices
as they all clamor into the elevator
and ding.

Eric kept mostly to himself. Other children didn't like to play with him, but he didn't care. Instead he used to go into the woods and collect frogs.  
    
He never had to look for them. They came to him. He used to pretend he was their king. He imagined he looked like them. But not really like them... He was bigger and a lot more dangerous.  
    
Eric did quite well in school even though he seemed strange to others. Occasionally someone tried to bully him but it wasn't any fun. He just stood there without any reaction.    
    
Afterwards, he used to stand in the schoolyard and stare at those who had tried to bully him. Although they didn't admit it, this made the bullies afraid. Eric's look was so strange. Empty, cold and...dead.  
    
Eric knew he  was different, but didn't have any words for what he was. He figured he must have been adopted, because his parents wasn't like him.  
    
In the night time he was under the water. He swam swiftly and skillfully. His destination was a sunken city. A city with buildings very unlike those on earth.  
    
Dark and chaotic, with a geometry that would have been impossible to depict on paper. These dreams would have made most people wake up screaming, but not Eric. Instead, he was sad the dream was over.  
    
One night the dream didn't end. Suddenly Eric was outside the place he lived, but everything was different. The sky was completely black and alien stars shone there.  
    
In front of him was the beach and the ocean. Cliffs towered at the sides and all was shadows and silver grey. The ocean was calling him. He looked at his feet, and noticed the webbing between his toes.  
    
Into the sea, into the darkness he threw himself. Finally he was coming home.

Well, it turns out the prince was a huge *******. Our happily ever after was short-ended by Prince Charming dumping me and leaving me on the streets. You’ve all heard the story with our “happily ever after,” but it wasn’t forever. This not-so-happy ending just proves that you shouldn’t marry someone you just met. Our “forever” was for like a month. The story everyone has heard is true, they just left out the ending. Here is the real ending.
    
“Listen here Cindy, you’re great and all, but I don’t love you. You’re not as beautiful as the night we met and I don’t think I can handle that betrayal.”
“Are you ******* kidding me?!” I’m so angry right now I can’t even wrap my mind around what happened. He looks at me with stern, serious eyes and a smirk that makes me want to punch him into another dimension. How can he do this to me? Everything was going perfectly, until this moment. I’m appalled at the sight of him.
“Also, I’m leaving you for your step sister, Drizella.” What the hell? He had to choose the ugliest one too. I cant even to respond to that. I take all the money I can find and walk out the door without even looking back.
I probably should have thought this through, since I have nowhere to go. I have no friends, no family, and my fairy godmother left me as soon as I married Prince *******. I did take most of his money, but I’m not sure what to do with it. I’ve never been on my own. As I’m walking far, far away from the prince’s castle, I find a park that is calling for me to rest. I lost track of how many days I’ve been walking and I feel like how my stepsisters look. I got some much needed sleep on an unnecessarily hard bench and woke up ready to carry on with my journey. I woke with a fright when I saw two stunningly dashing eyes peering over me. Those eyes belonged to a beautiful man who dressed like a prince, but smelled oddly like the sea. I did not want to break his gaze.
After a few seconds of slightly awkward eye contact, the man finally spoke,”Excuse me miss, you looked cold and uncomfortable so I wanted to offer you a place to stay. You look very smart so I’m sure you’re very reluctant and confused. My name is Eric. My wife and I have a huuuuuge house with more rooms than we need and we’d love to have you, Cinderella.”
“H-how do you know my name?”
“Um, everyone in every realm knows who you are and what you look like.” Oh yeah, I forgot that I didn’t exist to anybody until I married a prince and I was somebody to everybody. I hesitantly agreed and we rode on his horse to his castle which overlooked the sea. That must be why he smelled like it. This man has to be a prince. There is no way that even the richest people in this kingdom together could afford this castle. The inside was more magnificent than the outside. It had huge, open rooms with intricate windows so that you could see almost completely around the castle. I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life here. My thought is interrupted by Eric’s wife walking in and internally murdering me as soon as she lays her eyes on me.
“So I tell you I’m leaving you and not even a day later, you already have another girl here? What is wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me?! You’re the one with *****!”
She begins to shout “His name is Sebastian and he’s more of a man than you’ll ever be!” She storms out of the castle, leaving only an echoing boom from the slammed door.
This is almost my exact situation except reversed. I see him try to shrug it off, but I can see the hurt in his eyes. As he gives me a tour, the hurt in his eyes slowly begins to fade.
“Hey, I’m sorry that you had to see that earlier.”
“You don’t have to be sorry, Eric. It wasn’t your fault. My husband just left me so I understand how bad it hurts.” He just nods his head and continues showing me around. The tour ends at Erics bedroom. I don’t know what comes over me, but I kiss him. It was awkward, but then it didn’t stop and it became very heated. This was a passion I never got to experience with Charming. I woke up with the cool blanket clinging to my naked body. I felt something warm behind me and slowly rolled over to see Eric. I screamed and stumbled off the bed. I thought yesterday was just a dream! My scream woke Eric and his eyes widened as they found me.
“Can we uhhh… pretend like nothing happened?” he hesitantly asked. I nod my head and rush to the guest bedroom to wash away the memories from last night’s rendezvous.

Things were awkward for a long time, but we tried to pretend as if nothing happened. Eventually we started to build a friendship! We’ve actually even been on a couple dates. I can’t believe I didn’t do this with Charming. No wonder our marriage fell apart. I practically know everything about Eric, and he knows almost everything about me. This is the happiest I’ve been in a looong time. We’re only about a month into the relationship and we’re already talking about marriage. I know it is very soon but it’s a step up from only knowing him a day. It only took an unexpected encounter to bring us together. This may or may not be my real happily ever after but I’ll just have to wait and hope and see. For now, I am just happy.

Ben, Ben! the voice cried out...
I looked back to the source of the sound
along came running a very very skinny man
now alongside the face looked familiar yet still unknown
Ben! it me, its me Eric...its me
It dawned, then it puzzled, then it alarmed, then it made me laugh
wow, hey! Eric old bean, where have you been hiding, whats de show
the last time I saw you at the Student Bar, you were talking blonds
now look at you, looking like a praying mantis on a diet of water
you just disappeared, thought you left college, I couldn't find you
yeah! Eric said, his face falling and hollowed eyes searched mine
Ben, he said in lowered tones
Man, I've had quite a rough time of late,  been out of College, man!
yea, I know that, silly, I just said so, dumdum!
he smile a thin smile on a thin face in a thin kinda way
Ben!
Yessss
Well, remember that blond gal I was raving about to you, that night
yea, the last time I saw you, you were sited with Phoebe
both of you playing tongue Tennis, she was really hung on you
yes, said I, but back to you, I said, still not believing what I'm seeing
Well, I went home with the blond gal, that evening
Yessss, said I again
well things got exciting
OOhh....said I with a smile, naturally, I expect, I added
The thing is, he stammered as I raised an eye brow
the thing is, I spent a long time eating her!
you did what? I inquired, like I didn't hear first time
You know, says Eric with a sly look, I ate her
Ok, Ok, says I, I get the picture, I've done likewise myself
we both laughed, the way errant young men do
So, continued Eric, the next day I couldn't eat a thing
what do you mean, says I. You didn't eat the poor gal, I hope
God, are you a cannibal now, where is she, I said in mock horror
No, I didn't eat her like that, I just ate her, you know
Anyway, all next day and days and days after I couldn't keep food down
went to the hospital, they said its some endo-something bug
I've taken all kinds of tablets and potions, still I can't keep food in
my tummy  screams and hurt, my insides fight them-selves
I suffer all the time, I think I'm gonna die
I didn't know if to laugh or cry or do both
Oh Christ Eric, is these all true, you sure its not cancer you've got
No, they said its not cancer and they've done lots of tests.
Where is the blond gal, I asked, as if that would help anything
I haven't been to College, I don't know
Oh man, I'm sorry to hear all this, so sorry for what's happening
listen, lets meet up later, we'll talk more, take it easy old chap
where are you going now, Eric asked
I looked at scarecrow Eric, I did not smile
" I'm going to cancel a date with a blond I'd made for tonight"