It’s the way colors would taste if you could eat them. White would taste of contentment, yellow of happiness, purple of infatuation, red of passion, and pink would taste of endearment. Pick your poison; they’ll all be the death of you in the end.
It’s the way it smells when it first begins to rain. Its aroma lingers like vanilla, fresh linen, or an open flame that’s sparks kiss your fingertips. It clings to your clothes and in your hair to be smelled by others around you. To some, this scent may be too strong.
It sounds like complete silence amidst a roaring thunder. It’s at a frequency only you can hear and comprehend. It’s a ringing in your ears that leaves them throbbing or the echo of voices when you’re submerged in water --- starting loud and progressively fading away with the sunlight that rests on the water’s horizon.
It’s the way butterfly kisses feel, faintly tickling your cheeks when they’re damp with fresh tears. Or the way your body shudders at the touch of a cold hand and your temperature elevates, leaving a numbness where fingers traced over your skin.
It’s the way a sea of grass looks when you’re crawling on your hands and knees. It’s the sight of two hands clasped with fingers intertwined. It’s what causes your eyes to widen when you see the expression that lingers on her face when she thinks you’re not looking. The look that says all that can’t be spoken with words.
It’s all the power that lies within that four letter, one syllable word. The word that redefines every one of your five senses. ..
Love.
Love may be like a lot of things, but it’s not like falling. I never fully understood the expression “falling in love” --- probably because it isn’t accurate, and doesn’t make sense. Falling is what people do on a daily basis --- love is when someone catches you.

Making love isn't just about having ***
Its also nice to see how it effects (the relationship)
Its connecting two peoples souls, through the depeest of touch
When there's no stronger way to express your love with ****** intimacy and such
Sharing everything without a speck of bother
Making each other happy and pleasing each other
It can be nice and slow, tender, romantic and surely sweet
To be as close as humanly possible is such a nice treat
When lust burns to love which deepens through this
The soul does experience undescribable bliss
Please do love me until the night is over, come here, give me a kiss
Lets make love my dear,
On this first day of the year
I love you

~ Umi

I'm broke
and **** near broken

some days i can't eat at all
other days i eat too much
can't stand to look in the mirror
wishing the number i see on the scale would switch with my grades

things never go the way i want them to

too many dead ends
not enough ways out

got nothing to do
no time soon

i'm often forgotten like snow in summer

i'm breaking out
but not from this hole I'm in

my brain is constantly fizzling
hopefully soon
i'll get tired,
simply fizzle out
so this static can just
        S
    T
  O
       P

i need something,
or someone,
that takes the pain away

that fills my lungs with something other than this
undescribable
endless
void

i'm done
i'm tired of this body and soul

how many pills does it take
until i no longer regenerate?

is this a call for help?
or a way to let it all out?

but when you ask,

I'm fine

Oh the undescribable beauty
That your forest hold,
And how much it tells
Without a single word being told.

Each and every wanderer
Being called,
By the sun shining through the trees
Looking like little streaks of gold.

The pathway that leads to total
Freedom of the soul,
And you're in your element
When the birds starts to call.

Oh how truly beautiful
Your forest are,
It's just sad
That it has to be so far.

-ZvZ-

You were my perfect poem
Brief but of many lessons
Our life was the perfect paradox
For love I thought we could rhyme

You hated all I ever loved,I loved all you hated
You said dirt was clean and the sun was cold
You desired tears for years
And resisted all advances of happiness

All you hated I had to forsake
For our love was at stake
But like a toddler you had fun with my feelings
Leaving our blindest love in darkness reeling

Yet my greatest victory was losing you
My severest pain was my sweetest gain
You schooled me through experience
My all-time worst teacher

You were my perfect poem
Eternity would be short to describe the undescribable
For when my hand is strong to hold the pen
Then my heart is weak to pen the words

This one's for you Miss Gray!

My love for you is like the most Gorgeous celery,
Your face reminds me of Adorable birds,
Together, we are like Chicken and ketchup.

Oh darling Anna,
My Gorgeous celery,
My Adorable carrot,
The perfect companion to my Chicken soul.

Hearts are red,
Diamonds are blue,
I like writing,
But not as much as I love loving with you!

Oh darling Anna,
Your hands are like Undescribable papers on a winter day,
You're like the most Mine doctor to ever walk Boston.

Your Adorable face,
Your ketchup soul,
Your Undescribable hands,
Your Mine doctor being...

How could I look at another when our Gorgeous celery love is so strong?

I love you Miss Gray!

It comes like a hawk in the night,
It comes from deep inside the soul.

Its mark is the the ache, the pain, the hurt
that never goes away.

You know its coming,
when you feel the flood of undescrible emotions
creeping back into your soul.

It swoops in unexpected,
Stays longer than welcomed.
Nothing can make it go away.

Its only food is the joy of the heart,
Its mark is pain and sorrow.
Everytime it leaves, it takes part of its victim with it,
leaving the victim half alive in a pile of blood.
It is too evil to simply ****.

I have tried to fight.
I have failed.
I have tried to run.
I cannot hide.
I have tried to cry.
But the tears don't wash the aftermath way.

Helpless, it has left me helpless.

No one can find it.
No one can **** it.
No one can stop it.

As I am writing this poem
I sit alone...
In a messy room upon a messy bed
I'm trying to write the emotions of my crumbled heart
And answer the questions I shouldn't have to ask myself

Whats wrong with me?
Why am I unloved?
Why do I push people away?
Why am I not enough?
Why am I the one who hurts?

I feel as if I'm the forgotten puzzle peice
The peice no one knows is missing
And that there can't even describe what I am feeling
My heart yearns to be noticed
But instead it's left to be bitter and cold

I feel the need to claw at my skin
Shovel tears out of my eyes
Maybe then I won't cry anymore
From all the loneliness
That seems to envelope my soul

Is it too much to ask to be loved?
If it is then I'll continue to sit here alone
In a messy room upon a messy bed
Trying to write the emotions of my crumbled heart
And answer the questions I shouldn't have to ask myself

There are not enough languages
in this world
to describe

her beauty-
entirely

super star
                 terrific
awesome
                a for effort
I'm special
                  all stickers I could choose from
but I chose the blank sticker
because this sticker describes me

"LOOK!" So quietly you choose to speak...
I hear the sweet vibrations of your voice
my eyes lift to search a dark night sky
and you say, "There! Did you see?"
miles distant, shadowy light flashes
flickering over the mountain shades
lightning slicing through that atmosphere
and I answer you, "Yes.
"I wish that the thunderstorm was here."
you respond with your enigmatic silence
yet still I strain my ears
hoping to somehow maybe hear something from inside of you
even just a faded echo of your unshared thoughts
because you are my deepest desire
it's you alone that I most desperately crave
I'd sacrifice everything I have in this life for you
for only just a fleeting moment, I would
a moment in which you were solely mine,
worth more than I could ever have to give
my very soul cries out, agonizing, for you
my heart begs for your love to fuel it's own love
my flesh, my bones and blood burn to feel the warmth of your embrace
my lips quiver at only a thought of brushing against yours
my entire being tingles and aches to find solace in your affections
I'd rip my very soul from my deepest depths and place it in your hands
my heart I'd also eagerly tear right out of my chest
my promise, my solemn vow I'd gift with my bleeding wounds
never would I- could I, forsake you
if I could keep you, keep you, I would, indeed
a treasure I'd never relinquish willingly
passion, grace, unconditional love, yours forever and free
A picture of these, my most fervent of prayers and dreams...
split- second bursts of color and light
electricity, a bringer, a conveyor of destruction,
birthing fires in the brush and trees, and, mocking, denying me my love...
in that far away storm, a creeping portrayal; image, stretching wide:
I see a vision of your cherished face
I feel unbearable, disabling pains commencing
there's unfathomable sorrow, misery within me
I realize my heart is about to crack, break, shatter to dust and ash
no mind to how great and vast my love for you
no heed to my willingness to give up everything; anything
I glimpse it all in that fraction of a second
those stars; twinkling eyes, tell me an entire story, at the speed of light...:
so unfortunate, that you won't be mine now,
never else either, shall you ever belong to me
my gaze is drawn away, and departs from the place where the mysterious and celestial dwell
relinquish their view of power unleashed, blinking far off, in the sky above
I turn my head; swivel towards you,
for dire, is my need to take in every aspect of your beloved face...
maybe I'd misunderstood; maybe I'd been mistaken,
maybe a bit tired, rather easily confused,
or perhaps, it was a lie that the lightning storm's vision, sly and sneaking, portrayed...
but I can see the tangible, physical you, before me right now,
and, the truth - - -
(which I cannot positively know, for certain,
perplexed and having some doubts...)
- - - an obvious, unpleasant, ugly reality...
my tears have already begun brimming, as I watch, through a blurred void,
and prepare, because that mouth of yours is, once again, opening to speak
a bullet, slivers, pierce through to my soul when I hear you softly utter my name
"Alex, what's wrong? What is your problem now?"
how can you be so oblivious, as I feel so transparent? I ask,
but only to myself; not in such a way for you to actually hear me,
giving you, instead, yet another of my head shakes; slow, speechless reply...
I'm broken, and it's painful when you look at me,
what if you were to notive the sadness and hungry longing buried within my eyes?
please, please don't you look at me!
all of your questions, I'm incapable of answering,
never could I openly share with you how I so intensely feel
my fear of rejection has given me an answer in your stead
and, thus, this love shall go on only inside of me, in silence, secretly
despair, loneliness, burdens so heavy; wicked,
thick enough to rot me inside-out...
torn down, destroyed by love; my very own love - - -
(mine, a love undescribable... immense, immeasreable love;
love which was borne of my seeking indifference, but finding you...)
- - - until my savior of death comes,
will be working diligently to ******, slowly and bitterly, my life force
and impatiently, I'll live out the remainder of my days waiting and suffering;
looking forward to the moment when my black-robed executor shall, at long last, come,
and set me free of these suffocating bindings scarring, straining my heart...
for without you to hold, I am empty and lack purpose
I've no other hope on which to let the weight of my hurt bear
still hoping, inanely, for some unforseeable chance;
a growth of buds sprouting forth from the blooms of God's grace...
"Alex...?" oh, the way you say my name...!
"Say it if you have something to say!"
but still, once again, I say nothing at all,
just give another of my small, weak, neck-twist type of shakes;
a minuscule gesture that gets neither of us closer to anything, or anywhere...
I wipe away, quickly, a single tear that's escaped to leak down my face; slide down my cheek
you are the happiness of my world; my everything,
and yet, here I am, excruciatingly frightened, and left alone with that fear
paralyzing terror, stalking, menacing me into remaining silent;
horrors feeding my tentative heart cruel and brusing, nasty notions,
convincing me it's my destiny to uncover a crushing ruin of defeat, unavoidable,
if ever I was to make an effort to reach out
pitiable... I'm a motionless, frozen captive to its stagnating, discouraging taunts,
a demon, so intent upon pushing me to my hope's final demise...
until then, I'm just some pathetic subject to ludacrous torment; prisoner to torture
shuttering, I hear gleeful whispers in my ear - a surreal voice saying that all my fears could,
maybe, just possibly, maybe, be a confining falsehood; a tower of cruel lies...
...but then again, how could I ever find out and know for sure...?
condemned I am, by my own terrors; haunting fears of loneliness and rejection,
and so, I suppose, I'll never discover what you truly think and feel...
as I sit here, the passenger in your car, I'm so desperately wishing,
~ wishing that my lips and tongue could remember how they used to work;
~ wishing, so fervently, that my mouth, sewed, cemented, and stapled shut,
would somehow break itself open, and then, free, suddenly speak,
something! anything! any words at all!
a simple sentence could potentially be sufficient; could be enough to break these chains, to set my thoughts free...
perhaps, all it would take, language - me, bringing myself to fearlessly say,
"John, do you think you could ever love me?"
but no, I stay void of speech or sound
for now that's it, and there's no more to do - that I can do...
maybe the strength to ask will arrive on another, different day,
only, I hope, that if that could be true, it won't be too far off from now,
because, by then, it may have gotten to be too late...
SILENTLY, secretly, my very pulse screaming of my emotions;
declaring, to no one other than myself, my feelings, my love for you...
and without my vocalization, you just may never know,
but still, sweet man, my beautiful John, I so very greatly love, love, love,
everything about you...

Sleepless nights
I get consumed in my thoughts
I get tired
I sit here listening to music trying to distract myself from myself.
Notes leaking into my ears just whisking up my already mixed up mind.
It doesn't work
It makes it worse
The shadows of the night eat at my mind until I have shadows where my brain used to be.
I feel numb
Except kind of a deeper feeling than numb
It's undescribable
It's a feeling of terror
Its a feeling of failure
Its a feeling of loneliness
Its a feeling of being so done with everything inside of yourself.
I guess it's not numb
Its careless
It hurts
And when you want it all to be over that's when it gets the worst.
I am so sorry if you have ever felt like this
No one deserves to feel like this
Except me.

{SM}

Glinting amber topaz...
Ebony orbs...
black satin lashes....
against sepia skin...

you look into me...

I've never seen such undescribable color...
The rawness mirrors your intensity....
So dangerously intoxicating...
treacherously forbidden....

I drown in you....

Our gaze locks...
I'm done in moments...
Drawn to the darkest parts ....
of you against me...

The henna sparkle...
Topaz shimmer....
Promising me destruction....
Feelings that I've never known....

Only to come back again...

E.J.M.