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EgoFeeder May 2013
How long could this insightful illusion possibly remain?
Is this nirvana even remotely feasible to ascertain?
Why am I so weary? Why do I even pretend to implore?
How many times can one man forget the anguish he adores?

No being can sincerely state such extraordinary transcendence;
our insight only goes as far as an allusion to dissonance
One that merely reveals the futile inception of affliction;
Constructing the demeaning fortitude of vile attrition

This vessel to enlightenment is the same as any other;
Conjuring a spirit will only leave your will to smother
Just as the knowing of any faith is mere hallucination;
A malicious state of mind that writhes in fixation

Suppressing all earthly emotion through it's malevolent wraith;
Shedding all inner doubtfulness to parallel the warmth of faith!
Like Singing a melody without the prejudice of protruding eyes!
Or conversing with an assembly of reflections with no disguise!

Oh how these phrases proclaim such Sancta simplicitas!
And if I am he who is - what does that leave me as?
A foundation of flesh that hosts a gullible fool;
Thriving in exception as opposed to the rule!

The brew had peaked it's height and was entering the comedown;
Transforming my gleaming smile into a nihilistic frown
Depressing my virtue into a topic for their impish debate;
Is it possible that the truth we've uncovered is something you hate?

Or in a similar term - a knowledge you can't understand.
And, If what we ask is true; We'll have no choice but to disband
We've no use for an embodiment of weak character and will;
So, answer proudly or explain your fortune of ill

As much as I would love to continue forth with this high;
It would be little more than an instinctive lie
I'm sorry for all the time I've wasted with you all;
The comprehension I held for a moment has ceased to a crawl

I don't mean to take any merit from your success or glory;
But if I'm to stay here tonight it will be little but history
And, no achievement could come out of the addition of my tale
From the deliverance of my conception I've been set to fail

Any moment that I've felt some affirmation of my intelligence;
It has become misconstrued into an entanglement of rememberance
A procrastinating delusionist that can't seem to forget the past;
Endlessly oppressing my outward impression into a sickly broadcast

For I can only profess my Elysium through a few simple thoughts!
Like a yearnful longing for belonging that escapism had wrought
The only contentment I've ever known has simply been indifference;
A veiled acceptance of happiness that is portrayed with vehemence

Can you now see that this gathering has been doomed from the start?
For poets and prophets know naught but a deceptive art!
Enticing others with their own personal mantra, and presence;
To conclude this rehearsal I must commence with my absence
Leroy Tate Jan 2015
This is my story, the story of the journey I am on
It is not an easy journey, not for anyone no man, no woman, no child
This journey is unforgiving at times, that does not stop me
It brings the tears, anger, and doubtfulness out of me therefore it
Does not stop me from continuing, none told this journey would be easy
That does not stop me from pushing forward into the journey ahead
My journey is not over yet, the roads ahead won't be easy for anyone
That does not mean that me nor you will stop this journey
Because my friend our journey has just begun....
I'll Believe

When I doubt everything that I do,
Even when I cry don't want to shed a tear for you,
When I'm walking and all I think about is you,
I take a step back just to realise,
I'll believe when I have coloured in my wings,
I'll believe when I finally get something,
That can take away my doubtfulness,
And hopefully repay with some kind of happiness,
I'll believe when I have got my head back in the clouds,
Without having to be so blind,
I'll believe when I have done something,
And I don't ever wanna turn back time,
I need no regrets,
And a little bit of confidence,
To see through your lies,
Without being so hurt,
I just need some time,
Time is a thought of mine..

I'll be good if I can hold your hand,
I'll believe if someone makes a stand,
About how things have gone so ever wrong,
And how they can help us all to hold hands and just be strong,
I'll even believe in god one day,
If he really is the man they say,
The one that cares so much about us,
But never seems to show his face,

I'll believe when the sunrise is beautiful,
And doesn't make me cry,
Because I see the sadness in the sky,
When god is happy I can fly,

Will I ever,
Find the time,
To be just alright,
Will I ever,
Give up on these tears,
Or will they haunt me for all my years,

I'll believe when flowers start to bloom,
And nothing ever gets lost by a boom,
I see, Nothing but death around me,
And suffering and people trying,

That's why I'll only ever believe when I see the change for myself,
When the gods come and help us out,
When theres no more suffering,
And more of that loving,

Oh, whatever happened we was once a peaceful world,
I've lived many lives to say so,
Big birds and beautiful creatures,
That today we all treat like such a shame,
When really there the only thing we have left to say,

I'll believe.

By Larna Kira Kourtis AKA LkSkyFlyRose
Aged 13 & a quarter
~Peace~

By LkSkyFlyRose

© 2014 LkSkyFlyRose (All rights reserved)
Arielle Dawn  Apr 2017
02:30 AM
Arielle Dawn Apr 2017
The scent of your hair still lingers at my fingertips.

I hadn't felt **** like this yet. Soft caresses and sweet kisses turned bitter by your doubtfulness. Doubtful of yourself initially, eventually landing on my doorstep like an eviction letter. I had to escape. I didn't feel held in your arms. Your touch felt cold as tears fought through stubbornness. Waves of nausea clash below my heart as it desperately tries not to drown. I can't stay.

Now I'm filled with the gaping hole that you today filled and made whole. You leave me cold, dead, exposed, naked. Lay me out on the icy steel table and cut me open for examination. Do you like what you see?
Melt me like butter with the toxic fire that resides within your fears.
devante moore May 2015
The trail to happiness isn't as close as it seems
To be exact it's 9175 miles away from me
Across the sea
Where the Kangaroos and koala bear sleep
Why does this pursing happiness
Have to be so hard
Why is it so far
I wish for it to be closer on shooting stars
But hope soon fades
With the star as it drag races across the sky
Dipping beneath the horizon
Forever lost in space
But I see shooting stars when I get a glimpse of your face
My heart races
When I hear your voice
For a moment happiness is near
But soon disappears
To be replaced my something we both fear
Doubtfulness
That happiness will ever be real
Ronna M Tacud Jan 2021
She's cheerful but turns into tearful.
She's excited but turns into devastated.
She's confident but turns into bewilderment.
She's smiling but turns into alarming.

Today, is the day she's waiting but turns  into nothing.
The preparation turns into destruction.
And the subsequent is doubtfulness.
She ask herself, why did he forgot?
Or he neglect to remember it?

The sadness was evidence in her eyes.
Tears slowly falling into countless time.
She's truly hurt but still hopeful.
That he might have surprise her for their Anniversary.
But, the daylight fades and nothing came.
She's sobbing to death cause the forgotten Anniversary is in her mind all night long.
Riptide  Aug 2015
Story life
Riptide Aug 2015
Staring into darkness
Set on sparing nothing
Poised in calmness
Frantically navigating for something
Preferably powerful
An idea of significance
Something to stupefy doubtfulness

Then it hits you
Significance something you brew
Just by your variable in the equation of the cosmos
Each life is a story to be told
To be leached by the unfortunate that don't possess an ink pumping heart
A story to change a life
A perspective
The world

You are a story
You are significant
So Let them leach;
And allow me to sleep
To be devoured by this darkness in peace.
Sad Girl  Jul 13
Twin
Sad Girl Jul 13
You treat me so rough
when I beg you for delicate
You say that you love me
but you’re not really selling it

I remember the strength
I once held while celibate
I was a purified flower,
You were loving the smell of it..

But my thorns can be prickly
And I fear you won’t like that
So when you cause pain,
I try hard not to bite back

I love you unconditionally
and though I cannot fight that,
I wish you could see
how it hurts to fall off track

The pain in my foot
is the pain in your back
God sent you a mirror
And that mirror collapsed

If you look at what’s happening
You’ll see that I am you
So it’s not what you want to,
But maybe what you can do.

To reach outside yourself
to care for another
You could learn so much
From the love of a mother

This is what I offer
A new perspective
I know that you’ll see it
You’re very perceptive

I spin you in circles
And we finish our dance
I search for the conditions
They’re there; in your glance.

It’s both of our worst fear,
you won’t speak aloud.
I say all of my thoughts,
As they pass by like clouds.

Some are dark, some shiny, some gray
You only acknowledge them
Only every other day

Make me laugh and perspire,
Push my feelings away
The pain fades temporarily,
Yet the doubtfulness stays

“am I ungrateful”
Or
“Am I being punished”
I ask myself often,
As I sift through the dunnage

I unbury the fear
At the root of it all
I was rising in love,
But beginning to fall

You weren’t willing to catch me
Because you never saw
I tried to speak to you,
But did so, through a wall

Will you love me unconditionally
When you don’t like what you see?
Are you in love with an idea,
Or do you truly love ME.
Driven  Dec 2013
My Darling Dear
Driven Dec 2013
Doubtfulness lingering around me
Losing sight of what i want to see
Hopelessness feeling my soul
Lost love taking its toll
oh my soul.
All the troubles I heard
If only you'd take my word
That'd I'd never make you cry
and that I'll love u even when i die
please just try.
Let me hold your hand
Lay with u in the sand
Whisper in your ear
Let you know I'll always be near
my darling dear.
Claire Torrance May 2018
An urge to escape, fastened with a belt
Senses of conflict, preparing to melt
Imagine a life concealed as a boy
Thought upon others dancing with joy
Feelings of envy?, questions?, and hopes?
The life of a female ******* in ropes
Cut me some slack, to emerge from this shell
With the strength to stand up, whenever I fell
Forget what they said, they're stuck on rewind
Attempt to look forward, and leave them behind
Letting the sand seep through the glass
Each grain of sand, a day in the past
Setting the scene in dark shades of grey
My very own painting intended this way
Although I did say, that's what I intend
Fine traces of colour mix into the blend
They bleed and descend, like inside a dream
No need to pretend, if you know what I mean?
Unlocking a shutter, to view the next stage
That's just the book cover, before the next page
Was I on the verge of a long waiting game?
As all of the pages were numbered the same
A feeling of doubtfulness hit at close range
And half the way through, I noticed a change
But as I look back, in outbursts of laughter
My worries had vanished into the next chapter
This story I told, is split into two
And it starts with the old, revealing the new
A lesson that change is both patience and time
As every grey cloud has a fine silver line
My last stroke of paint, lets give it a chance?
And it's signed at the bottom
By Claire Torrance
manal  Jan 2021
Manal at 8:30
manal Jan 2021
I want it to be so that
I am a dark mass of life
A dark, cataclysmic shroud of flesh
A size bigger than the problems I harbor; but not as big as my regrets.

Oh yes, to be a spiral of catastrophe, absorbing all that is in my path.
swallowing them,
engulfing them
quickly,
but,
quietly,
spitting them out anew,
And whole again.

I sought to be the storm before the calm,
the pouring rain after the thunderclap of liquid-silver-lightning.
To be a wave of confidence and setting myself atop the horizon of other people’s views.

To gradually become a giant,
to be a whirlwind of
...nothing.  

Meanwhile here, I am a cloud;
A cloud of doubtfulness,
Perspiring at the mere second
A weak faulty existence
I am the aftermath
The reconciliation
The ending of what was thought to be the beginning
A mere cloud,
amongst other things

I want it to be so that I float,
otherwise, I am drowning
My humidified scrawny legs are sweeping steel floors,
littered with reflections of redrafted selves.
Reflections that mirror the broken shards of one's psyche
expected to form a whole mirror.
I put my ten toes to the cold steel surface,
while dragging my past selves as we crawl
to where the Dim light is.

yet I do not cast any shadows.

I want it to be so that
I am the lord of the flies, to decompose in a cleanroom.
To assert my existence within these four walls, with my breathe alone shaking the inner workings of my rib cage.
I want to hear the echo of my heartbeat in the throats of others.
To engrave my face into the delicate insides of their skulls, indefinitely.
To be memorable— no,
To be remembered.
Because even then,
Even with the strength of ten worlds
Even with the confidence of an idle king,
Even with the assertion of the Ten Commandments.
I am merely but a figment of my own innovation.

Walking in the city seems to only expose lively souls,
where Dim city lights accentuate dull features,  
but even then—
Even with the Dim and powerful street lamps of the night cowering before my shadow,
It only seems to cast a dark reflection,
Articulated appearances and dialogues vibrate through the reflections cast by those Dim lamps,

And it was in that moment, I was acquainted with,
Someone I have not remembered
but someone I have chosen to forget
thoughts at 8:30
kelvin mungai  Mar 2016
Untitled
kelvin mungai Mar 2016
Wallontly i glared toward the heavens
Seeking homage with the deities less registered in my recess
Sanity compromised my doubtfulness
As the blue sky and the grinning yellow occulus obscured my quest
"You can't see god"they warned my sight deprived eyes
Discernible kaleidoscopic star performed a victory dance in my cornea
I squinted in surrender

Choreographing my eidetic
Memory wikipidia
I vividly recall being
cautioned about mentioning the name of the gods in vain
Yet here i was
Calling my lungs out
Coughing and spitting profanities
Just trying to catch their attention
I searched with futility for heaven,paradise or even olympus
Whichever residence the gods laughed at my pitiful threats

I called my voice hoarse cursed the moon and swore never to think about the gods
Yet as i lay my tattered flame at night i wondered
Could they have heard me but decided to play hide and seek
Could they have seen me but decided to spare my pathetic human soul
So in dream land is drowned and i dreamt death....

— The End —