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born 1900
when Austria was still a monarchy
    that did not know
    it was approaching its end

growing up as the daughter
of the mayor of a little district town
    big fish in a small pond
educated accordingly
as a ‘higher daughter’

   be a home decorator
   do needlework
   be a gourmet cook
   play the piano
   be a respectable member
       of the community and the parish

when she turned 18
after the end of world war I
the social order for which she had been prepared
simply disappeared

her father became a disillusioned monarchist
the town’s republicans elected a new mayor

she married a railway engineer
who left her after her daughter
    my mother
was born
she managed to survive world war II
as a single mother

watched her daughter
    fall in love with, at Christmas 1946,
    and marry in April 1947
a guy who had just escaped
from a Soviet POW camp
looked like a walking skeleton
       my father
AND
was the son of a communist
who  had survived  world war I
as a POW in Siberia

strange bedfellows

     they used to play cards together
     once a week
     with great gusto

     class warfare
     morphed into social entertainment

both my parents were working
grandmother  led the household
on the side did bookkeeping for local businesses
     to bring in some money
practically raised me and my brother
cared for us when we were sick
taught me to play the piano

was always afraid we would not get
enough to eat

for a while, as a little child,
I slept in the same room with her
and  learned that she had
a wondrously melodious snore
    going over an octave & some such

when, after grade school,
I had to leave at 5.45 am
to catch the train
    pulled by a sturdy steam engine
that took me to the high school  
    50km down the road
she was concerned when I
   rushing out the door
just grabbed parts of the breakfast
she had so lovingly prepared

when I left home for university
she was not happy
when I went to the USA for a whole year
she was disconsolate

she did enjoy her great-grandkids
when they visited, though

too much distance for too long
from the place of her birth
made her uncomfortable
in her later years
she needed a familiar place
that came with its familiar things
to do and know

she lived to be 87

I saw her last
after a second stroke
had mostly incapacitated her

a tiny woman
curled up
waiting to leave us
for a world that finally might heal
the pain and disappointment
she had so bravely mastered
throughout her life
Sombro  Dec 2019
Bookkeeping
Sombro Dec 2019
An honourable account
Of sympathy 1, 2, 3, 4, deferred
Finally something contained but
Lastly nothing.

I fortify puddles night and day...
That ***** grass grows by
And willow trees that twist and knead
Into crisp faces that
Pose for me.

Oh! Wood Coven!
Questions 345
What unknowing awareness they show, what membership
My cobbed old feet can't follow.

A successful heart with fearful veins
Taken lore-y blood for bishop doubts
From chambers of marbling fat
On a ****** run.

I found online that
People were scared of me
But in person they didn't care
I wonder if they dream so hesitantly
Or if they sleep just to wake up
On a pillow that smells like their wife's arm
Neutered, like feathers clipped short

Perhaps with that I'll choke
On a wishbone of some bird
Or my bones, brown like civilised wheat
Will nourish some fat lip
I'm not sure of that

O, an honourable account.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2016
among the dead, two heroes, Octavian, and Philip Augustus
(from the house of Capet)... to all hopes of a revived Hollywood
encircling them, fermenting as many credible names -
strange people, poisons that smell like perfume - what?
lord anthony is dead - is that how one says it?
simply as that... mark anthony is dead -
the soup is hot, the soup is cold - anthony is living, anthony is dead -
SHAKE WITH TERROR WHEN SUCH WORDS
PASS YOUR LIPS... FOR FEAR THEY BE UNTRUE
AND ANTHONY CUT-OUT YOUR TONGUE FOR A LIE...
AND IF TRUE... FOR YOUR LIFETIME BOAST
THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO SPEAK HIS NAME
IN HIS DEATH... A DYING OF SUCH A MAN
MUST BE SHOUTED... SCREAMED!
IT MUST ECHO BACK FROM THE CORNERS OF
THE UNIVERSE!
ANTHONY IS DEAD! MARK ANTHONY OF ROME
LIVES NO MORE!
i know of only two men be worth a taxing memory,
a taxman's assertion worth of bookkeeping...
that one was Octavian, and the latter remnant of Charlemagne,
namely Philip Augustus, father of the Magna Carta...
beyond the celebrated procession of Westminster Abbey...
there the minded tear...
they binding i admire most... keen puppeteers,
such that i too suffer sufficing to be with the smallest army of
exercise in the demand of owning land bereaved
from ever being lost, as sufficient demand for
posthumous reenactment of the up-kept bibliography.
Stuck to their thoughts, the quiet dealings while the world restlessness exposes itself before their eyes, and they do not flinch, there is a fear at the fibre of New York City, the ananymoty keeps one brave in their singular ways, just a scratch, just a droplet, without considering one another, exchanges at the counter kept short, exchange a few wads for cheap goods that will last a while, that happens to be my style. Astoria queens, where the colors don't mesh together quite right, taxes, payroll, bookkeeping, lots of wine, novelty next to 99 cent, cars crammed at the intersection, baffled in the brook, crammed in the nooksc the books are protected by a sheet to keep out the rain, at the corner there is a man going insane, city living, the expression, nothing's good, but can't complain, dotted taxi cab advertisements, launching a career, launching an attitude, launching a party, we can do business for you, step right in and see keep my business card hardly an issue, hardly the matter, coffees crummy, coffees not so bad what's the matter with you?  Emotionless, dreamless, left to the lights and sleepiness, a work day, a day of pay, churning out a penny at the end, churning out dollars that we can spend a loss of security for a good, or perhaps an investment in a future security, the city wish it could do it all for you, Astoria queens, sewn together freakenstein American Dream
preservationman May 2020
Numbers to crunch
In between is the munch
A break for an hour is lunch
Accounting term of Profit and loss
Expenses highlighting the cost
The total Accounting overview
There’s payment’s that are also due
Accountant having that chore
Accounting is almost like keeping score
The thought in where the business stands
Resources combined in demand
Excel spreadsheet putting the figure in more detail
It’s says if the business will pass or fail
Numbers are the fairytale
It mentions the businesses direction in tail
Accounting or Bookkeeping being the function
Eye on the trial balance
Conclusion in the final palance
So much for the balance
Norbert Tasev Mar 2020
Even after the mass psychosis of unanimously proclaimed mono-bookkeeping and stadium-building, it was not enough for plaster to cry on the snow-capped walls of life-saving public hospitals and nurseries, to swell in tears of crushed wings! "And while the past may be decisive and at the same time, the present is increasingly lying, false."

Hateful, liar-like, ***-licking oligarchs lick each other as a war of delicate pinch dogs. They fill their personalized colors with stories written in selfish ways, and Paul's great reversal will take place again. But there would be quite a few nice and admonishing examples on the sacred altar of corruption: Can't you really feel overwhelmed by the fact that you have been sacrificed for their petty career greed ?!

They have become intentional ******* juveniles for sale; a miniature community that has finally come out of a small Europe is calling for stalled industrial and technological development. And the hunger ticket is still cool if any of us decided to go shopping. In the upcoming circus, the despot porcelain master has already presented his latest vision. There is no interference, no open resistance. You can easily jump on the promised million dollar bonus!

Just no rush, and most of all, no reckless, frenzy! If many believe the cheat-negation promises of non-existent jobs and jobs: Who knows ?! "Exposed, theatrical, rope-like, we can even hear plenty more about the fierce struggles of parallel legends ..."
Àŧùl Sep 2024
1.
But as of the present,
I'm only into bookkeeping,
As in I keep an eye on my assets.
2.
Those complex ratios are absent.
I'm currently into learning,
Later, I might go deep.
3.
I learnt non-medical sciences at school,
Went on to read biotechnology at college,
And ended up earning money in commerce.
4.
Those ratios can obviously wait until I learn.
I love what life till 33 has shown,
So far, it has shone.
5.
Haters will hate,
Like potatoes will potate,
The jealous will get deep-fried.
6.
I have my tasks to shoot down,
My affluence would increase.
And parents will be proud.
7.
This is the determination of the fallen—mine,
All that, I'll humbly reclaim what I had lost,
Alone or with a companion, it's to be seen.
My HP Poem #1988
©Atul Kaushal
More "Knowledge" — Less Belief

More "knowledge" means less faith,
"Knowledge" turns to faith again.
Blindly trust the "pioneers,"
In the lies that science spins.

This filth begins to spread,
With "Inquisition" in its tread.
Know for yourself — such daring feat
In a world where lies repeat.

Only a few will stand apart,
And that’s why the world’s a broken art.
It won’t revive, it’s doomed, you see —
When beasts make laws, there’s no decree.



---------------------



Like the "Secret Services"

The ******* lord —
A heavy price he’s scored.
But the "services" of fake states,
With drugs, they claim their noble fate.

Escobar’s gone, but "services" thrive,
They’ve taken it all, they’re still alive.
Murderers, worse than any ****,
"Services" — a label for the drug.

The beasts serve the ones who hide,
Madmen running wild inside.
They’ve watched the movies, seen the show —
Where heroes are the filth below.



---------------------



*** Shaker — A Million Views

An ***-shaker — a million views,
A poet? None, that's old news.
A world of fools, that's how it’s told,
Where poets are as good as old.



---------------------



Almost Bookkeeping

The "balance" is closed,
The end — in the "passive" line,
The chance to live’s been lost,
To thrive — no longer mine.

The rest is trash,
A build-up of lies,
The saving of souls
From total demise.

The chance is gone,
"Assets" worth nothing now.
It's all decadence,
With reserves wiped out somehow.

Well then, bankrupt,
The world falls deep,
Humans like cattle —
End of life’s steep.



---------------------



Like "Causality"

And B follows A,
Repeats itself too fast.
But B’s called cause —
A mistake, unsurpassed.

It’s just the habit,
Labeled “causality,”
The mind’s a sieve,
In vanity's reality.

We learn? WE NAME!
Opinions in place of thought —
Just nonsense, all the same,
This plague that we’ve sought.

It kills the mind,
The search is what we crave,
The end’s decay defined,
In which we soon shall cave.



---------------------



The Deputy

A deputy — disgrace and shame,
A twisted mind, in darkness tame,
With "approval" for the beast’s law,
A world of decay, with no more awe.

In it, money blinds it all,
Excuses rise, but they will fall.
The Final Judgement won't believe,
And all the rot will burn, no reprieve.



---------------------



Pynya

Pynya hears, Pynya knows,
He rules the people, high and low,
With lies, with fear, with sticky dread —
In that "land," you walk with dead.



---------------------



What Strikes Is Not the Madness of Orders, But the Zeal of the Executors

The overdrive of idiots,
Under creatures' rule, no wit,
Shocks the wise —
As faith in the future dies.

What impressed in CowID's game?
Not the beasts' orders — but the same,
To evil's call, they blindly race,
Performing lies with "boundless grace".



---------------------



The world’s a stage — and we, they say, are players?

But players of a rundown, burnt-out stage,
Where each dreamed Hamlet’s grief to once portray —
Yet played a fool, a dunce upon the page,
And studied not the craft, but how to "climb" his way.

They all forgot: true art exists for art.
To serve the Muse is glory, not a trade,
Not boiling rotten feelings for a part
In shows where hacks direct and truth’s betrayed.

Those who rose high and won the leading scenes
Weren’t those with talent, heart, or measured tone —
But those who pushed with elbows, fierce and keen,
And fought their way to seize the starry throne.

The stage has burned. The elbowed, lacking grace,
Now seek another stage to strut and play —
But none remains. The last chance to embrace
Real passion’s flame was squandered, tossed away.

Now nothing’s left but groaning in despair,
Awaiting roles of traitors marked for death,
And learning pain — the price of art laid bare,
As Spirit speaks in every labored breath.



---------------------



Anti-Psychiatric Fantasy

Inject a "downer" — let it sting,
To feel this Hell more crystal-clear.
To hell with all that "well-being" —
Only freaks feel cozy here.

The world turned upside down, they chase
The "higher ground" with rabid pride,
Declare all spirit realms a waste,
And ride ambition's bloated tide.

Obsessed with power, cash, and speed,
He’s "cheerful", "stable", smug and bold —
But truly, he's devoid of need:
A half-dead clown with guts gone cold.

Through pain you’ll wake in Hell’s abyss,
Through pain, the face of Evil see.
Only morons call this bliss.
Pain plus Clarity — that’s free!



---------------------



Pre-Flight Fantasy

To fly! Who cares if you might crash,
Your bones a mess, your soul unstrung?
They’ll rot regardless in the trash
If all you do is hold your tongue.

The dead are calm — they always are,
And most are corpses, still in breath.
But if you never shoot for stars,
You celebrate slow-rotting death.

So grow the Wings of Art — they sprout
From feathered lines your hand will weave.
Through flight, let Spirit cast out doubt,
And all that fear you still believe.

That clings like rot, won’t let you soar,
No matter how you strain or pray.
There is no choice — it’s fly or floor.
It’s UP — or rot away!



---------------------



Suckers and Night Terrors

All the suckers, round and plastic,
Puffed with lies — then pop, they drop
Into nightmares grim and spastic,
Where the meek get crushed nonstop.

“Just obey,” “believe,” “don’t question” —
That’s a loser’s sacred code.
So the **** with fake intentions
Easily infect the load.

Terror, filth, and fear they offer
To the dimwits of all kinds,
Claiming, “It’s for safety, softer
Lives” — for demons tanning hides.

Figurative? Maybe. Barely.
Formally — it’s lemon time:
Squeeze the sucker dry and fairly.
In this hell, fear-fuel is prime.





---------------------



Loss and the Cost

A heavy loss — of wit, of pride —
And then the price is paid in full:
You rot in filth, where lies abide,
Among fascistic, mindless bull.

This stupid world decays, and fast,
Its brains replaced with sheepish fluff.
But give the fascists time — at last
We’ll live like amoebas: dumb and tough,

Devouring crap to store in bulk,
Then crapping just to make a point —
Enough to make the germs sulk
And envy every bloated joint.

False plagues, like gods, now rule the land —
Inventing more so none escape.
With every jab, a rotten brand,
In poison’s name — salvation’s shape.

Corruption spreads in every crack,
While Evil lies attack and feast.
There's no clear road, no turning back —
Just rot beneath the lab coats' priest.



---------------------



The Autumn of the World

They count their chickens in the fall —
And how? They chop their heads, that’s all.
The same fate waits the flock of sheep:
Fascistic rot runs strong and deep.

It’s everywhere — and yet just bleating,
Excuses soft, submissive pleading.
Their trembling voices feed the flames,
While ******* play their butcher games.

With double force they strike and bind,
Then paint it “care for humankind.”
They cage the herd in wires and codes —
A prison dressed in safety modes.

They’ll shoot fresh poison in your vein
If you don’t flee their fenced domain.
That’s how they’ll count the sheep once more —
Still waiting, drooling at the door...



---------------------



Mockery Science for the Mindless Poor

They laugh it off — dismiss and scoff —
When topics get too rough to hold.
What shakes their "science" right clean off
Reveals it built on lies and mold.

It clings to charts, deceit, and graphs,
Pretending strength through shallow frames.
But fraud and schemes, like poison drafts,
Are how these beasts perfect their games.

From CowID lies to “circles” drawn
In crops — they mock, deny, distort.
The Rotten World Bedlam rolls on,
With parasites who twist the “port.”

A flood of facts gets shaved to none,
Their “theories” cut to fit the mold.
No arguments — just memes for fun.
And poor minds? They consume what’s sold.



---------------------



Fantasy

The tears keep falling, rolling still —
But truth? They simply won’t believe.
"Sleep on it — you'll find the will,"
Then line up bright, naïve, naïve...

A fantasy. All that’s true
Are lies and tears — no light, no flame.
The darkness wants obedient crew —
No mind, no soul, no sense of shame.

Tears without the truth are fake,
Just shrieking fits, no deeper cause.
And minds without the soul will break —
Most are soulless now, because...

The media feeds the slaves pure lies
With every broadcast, every claim.
And soon we’ll see parades arise —
As fascism returns in shame.

CowID served as training drill,
Darkness won — and loud, and fast.
The crowd were cowards, dumb and still —
This world’s a joke. A farce. A blast.



---------------------



In the Sandbox

"Take your toys and leave my ***!
And don’t you dare to *** again!"
Though they're "grown-ups" — still a lot
Never truly use their brain.

"Teenage minds" in grown-up skins —
That's the norm, a global trend.
Add delusions, fed like sins —
And the madhouse has no end.

In this world, where dumb’s a prayer
Chanted like a holy creed,
No one grows — they stall right there,
Trained to serve, not think or lead.

They may look like full-grown men,
But inside — wild kids at play.
Fed on lies, they sleep again,
Numb and docile every day.

Lies control the game. The wise
Must outgrow this plastic trap.
But for minds that never rise —
Old-school lies still fill the gap.



---------------------



Old Optimists

Old optimists still trust the tales,
As they did in the days of yore.
Once traitors spoke with louder wails —
Today, Judas rebels once more.



---------------------



Zero and Nothing

From birth, you start in negative,
And soon you’re trapped, it’s clear to see.
The system’s built to push the sieve,
Making “school” the brain’s debris.

They castrate every rebel’s mind,
And “maturity” brings empty toll —
Like luck’s a joke that’s left behind.
Yet still the poor declare it’s whole.



---------------------



Chemical Attack

A chemical attack —
Food and "medical care,"
Lies to send the fools back,
Wasting them with despair.

They say, "Science protects,
Keeps your health in check,"
But food’s just wasteful effects,
And no one stops to check.

No problems here, they say,
While idiots believe —
Memes lead the clueless way,
And “care” is just a weave.

They’ll starve you slow, erase the truth,
Idiots repeat the lie,
A parade of selling proof,
Under fake smiles, they cry.



---------------------



A Song Left Unfinished…

If a song holds no delusion,
That's a pity, that’s a flaw.
Life throws in its own intrusion —
Sticks for those who honor law.

No one hears the voice that’s clear —
Noise is what they want to sell.
In this world so dark and drear,
Only madness rings the bell.

Drivel fills the air like smog,
Cheap and ***** monologue.
Only filth gets full attention —
Groaning hard with no dimension.





---------------------



Poetry Fatigue

When poetry comes in endless streams —
No "roses," no "hydrangea" dreams,
No "glory" sung to kings or lords —
Just weariness in quiet chords.

To fight it, reason is your guide,
But still, it’s hard to dodge the slide
Into those pits where verses stall —
And climbing out? No gain at all.

You rise, but wisdom doesn’t grow —
The poet’s path is cursed and slow.
Forget about some grand ascent —
It’s not for bards the stars were meant.



---------------------



Dogmatism of Pseudoscience and the Goals Behind It

Dogma rules — it's off the meter.
Pseudoscience, clear as day:
Full of lies and raving fever,
It will never change its way.

Those who fund it seek a mission —
Not religion, but control.
Feeding fools with fake ambition,
Waiting till it takes its toll.

Change will come — a camp is looming,
Digital, with rules unclear.
Truth will hide in faulty coding,
Chips in hands — the law is near.

There, fake plagues will serve as anchor,
Poison will be sold as cure.
Serve them well — avoid their anger.
Life for humans? Not so sure.



--- Total 23 poems. ---

— The End —