I want to say something . . .
but then again,
*I don't.

I keep trying to convince myself that
'I just don't care'

but in the process,
I remind myself why I do.

I can't get you out of my mind,
no matter how hard I try . . .

and I end up thinking,
about not thinking,
about you
.

It's Three a.m.
And here I am,
Alone, wide awake, and confused

As I lie contemplating,
Your words resonating,
They left me
bleeding
           and
                           broken
                                 and
                                                bruised
      ­                                                   . . . .

Heart bleeding
in the palm of your hand
Dripping slowly
Seeping out
Every last drop
To the floor
Soaked in red
Yet walking empty
Without
Still I go on
Motions
Continue
Whilst
you hold my heart

got lost and confused
by the tint of green
in your eyes
that would make fresh, summer grass jealous
and St. Patrick pass out
on his own celebration.

see i'm still learning how to be okay
with things I cannot change about myself
but I don't think it's ever been easy
loving parts I've never asked for,
but was dropped on me like
the feeling of highness
from those hits

the thing I don't understand
is how alright
how content
how proudly
I would be able to love you
when I never asked for you,
yearned for you,
but only stumbled upon you.

every time i'm around
and hear the sky open from the grace of your laugh
it is as if you
are wooing me closer and closer to heaven
making me feel like
a good man
who's met his guardian angel
something i'll wait
a whole lifetime for.