What happened to the days
I found poetry in a thread on a dress?
What happened to the days
I found poetry in a strand on a head?

The days I had the most extravagant words
To use as my armour and weapons?
The days I had a beautiful, flowing rhyme
To use as the glamour and .......?

Have I lost my train of thought?
Or have I stopped looking for it?
Have I finally succumbed to the cost
Which states to find poetry in every twist?

Every twist of every braid,
Every list of every maid.
Every hill growing up,
Every second of broken trust.

I must go on a conquest to retrieve my possession
Of thirst for finding poetry in even the slightest dust on a table top.
To live my life again, I have made this decision;
And for you to adhere to it is my humble requisition.

Your every word,
Every comma,
Every full stop,
Every quotation,
And every other punctuation-
They destroy my demons.

"There was never silence. Always was an endless buzzing of nonsense in my ear.

But you, as I realize now, were not talking about the absence of sound.

You were talking about the soul.
The silence of the soul.
The absence of peace.

Pain.

I've come to think that humans, as a race, cannot write about the subjects that bring them joy."

- Alyssa Rose©

Just a little excerpt
From a little collection of sentences,
Yet the impact knows no bounds.

Every poem that you write (at least the ones I've read),
They hold so much truth.
As dainty as your name,
Yet so much power they brew.

"People we will never meet,
Faces we will never see.
Unbeknownst to us,
Wandering aimlessly."

-Alyssa Rose©

The -words- above
And the l e t t e r s-
My exact thoughts last night,
8 days to December.

Once I get a hold of what you convey,
I find myself unable to let go;
Because the meaning that I discover,
Is not just what I portray.

When I read your work,
I feel at peace;
Like all the chaos within me
Has finally been eased,
Because you, Alyssa-
Are one of my only escapes.

And as I write this piece,
You don't even know
That someone like ME-
An average teenage girl,
Takes so much inspiration
From YOU❤️

How did we fall apart?
Why did the flame die out?
Whose fault was it?
When did we fall into the pit?
Who got out first?
Which twisted theory hurt?

How did our bond break?
Why did our hearts disconnect?
Whose touch destroyed what we had?
When did it go so bad?
Who planned the event?
Which ****** wanted revenge?

So many questions which will remain unanswered for eternity.
But so many questions for the future which won't make us dizzy.
We won't try and dig up the answers,
Instead let the solutions come to us.

Brushing through mindless white specks.
Soaring between jagged decks.

Pudgy trembling little pillows.
We've left the lithosphere down below.
Wishing I could run my hands through these marshmallows
Like I ran my fingers through his deep brown hair.

Swiveling, shriveling, ascending
I breathe the sharp cabin air in.

Layers and layers of cottony mounds
Can I just spoon them on to my lips now
The way his caressed my pout?
I'm so unaware.

As the messy streaks became distant,
The déjà vu in pattern had me stunned.

Illegible madness at the very bottom,
Transforming into something more figurative going above.
Like I was lost and consumed to begin with
But graduated to understanding love.

I smile wide from ear to ear; we may have lost chemistry,
But in every walk of life, our sparks will remain an untold story.

Pounding in my head were the gunshots,
And in my heart were the bullet wounds.
Yet I survived, and now I'm happy.
Courage does soothe.

I have one wish and one wish only,
To hug him tight, even if it lasts a second slowly.

He was my world, my universe.
But I've let him go and I've realized
That the universe is out there
And he's only a pair of bright eyes.

Yes we had plans, yes we had dreams.
But dreams can be ruined and plans- unaccomplished.

New plans can be figured
New dreams can be birthed.
A journey can be restarted
And a heart can be returned.

A little turbulence does come along,
A little silence can do wrong.

Much like this journey I'm on,
An expedition to learn the wonders unknown,
To hear the beat drop
And feel my heart throb.

And now I see a seamless sheet of white
Soft, silken, yet unevenly bright.

Distant cities- visible from high above,
Blocking out the push and shove.
Though I'm 20000 feet in the air,
I can still feel the love.

I feel the energy that lies underneath,
I feel the smile of a little child standing beneath.

And suddenly the unevenness disappears,
The sunlight blazes in here.
Should I pull down the blind?
Or should I let the light blind?

(And there goes my pattern of rhyme)

Funny how the same word can mean two different things.
Comical how most of us don't make any sense.

We don't fight a mystery,
We are the mystery.
We don't feel alive,
We are alive.

And the pilot makes a sharp turn
For a moment I'm uncertain.

It's like when you're so involved in something,
And you lose control, slipping and crashing,
But you get up, dust yourself,
And carry on walking.

I feel like I could go on forever with this poem,
But life won't go on anywhere close to forever.

You live everyday, even when you feel broken.
You breathe in the air, even when you feel suffocated.
You try to understand the patterns,
But you won't have all the time, because death comes once- and it's permanent.

Face it with courage,
Face it with pride.
Feel the moment,
Watch the wonders of the sky.

It hurts knowing
I can't hug you once more.

It hurts knowing
We won't be painfully close.

It hurts knowing
I can't ignore your face.

It hurts knowing
I won't be a mess again.

It hurts knowing
You won't hear if I call your name.

It hurts knowing
I can't let you go.

It hurts knowing
That you still have to go.

It hurts knowing
I won't hurt anymore.

Each day she begins by hoping not to be stabbed again. The worry gets worse as time rips past her. She hopes not to feel the air between him and her. But everyday, hoping deems no good. Everyday she feels the wind piercing through her skin and chilling her bones. Everyday she digs her red nails into her palms to calm the sweat. Everyday she falls to her knees, but invisible to the human eye. She feels the shaking of her joints. She feels every blood cell rushing through her. She hears her heart beat with a deadened sound. Her head gets heavy and her eyes close with a whimper. She's reached the blackness of the sea. She's caught in the tsunami. She wishes for the hurt to stop but then again she enjoys the pain.

He will be gone soon.  She thinks that the hurt will disappear too, but little does she know that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

He was once her entire universe with all the fireballs in between, but now he IS the fireball. She crumbles under the heat and pain. She's almost in ruins. She's going away to a new universe in a while. She hopes to find peace there.

She hopes to stop hurting, but will a ******* ever be free of pain?

It was a sea of red, orange, blue, purple and black. Each inch deeper she dived made her hurt worse. Yet she kept swimming because she was oblivious to the approaching tsunami, or at least she tried to swim.

To drown or to live is the question of her current universe.

He was once all of her galaxies and dark spaces. He filled every gap in her mind, and maybe even her heart. Every string that had come undone was stitched back by his warmth. She felt like she could conquer three universes if they existed, when he was by her side. She felt armed. She felt strong. But piece by piece, he was skinning her alive. She had no way of knowing because she was entirely consumed by the feeling he gave her- empowerment. She felt so secure in his grip that she couldn't feel her bones crushing under the pressure. When he held her in embrace, all she felt was his heartbeat and warm arms. Little did she know, he was freezing her senses in disguise of a friendly fire. When she heard a love song on the radio, his shining eyes, tingling fingertips and every little foregone flaw appeared in the realm of her mind. But her mind was only beginning to unravel the underlying misery. With all these rushes of excitement and adventure, she forgot that the world existed. He was the world for her. She forgot that her strings could break. She forgot that her eyes could cry. She forgot that her body could feel numb. She forgot that his shadow could **** her.

Months later, she found herself halfway out of her shell. She found herself known to the world. And that world was not him. That world was the world that she had forgotten. The world in which hearts broke and memories demolished. She was in a state of numbness. The fame got her no where. The fame that hit her like a hurricane didn't move a hair on her head. Nothing moved for a second. And in that one second she suddenly wondered that if his shadow could **** her, what could the intertwining shadow of his future love by his side do?

Being in love
Comes with a price;
Tired, lonely and spent,
Yet consuming lie after lie.

Breaking teeth on cakes-
Sweetness baked with hell.
There's only so much you can take
Before you're breathing with death.

Swallowing bullets coated in sugar,
Kissing the lips of invisible thorns;
Wrapping arms around stars burning up,
And thawing at ice while feeling the warmth.

Touching the fingers of a frozen fire,
And believing the swirling winds;
Singing along with the song of a liar
Till you finally break within.

Being in love
Comes with a price;
Tired, lonely and spent,
Yet consuming lie after lie.

Breaking teeth on cakes-
Sweetness baked with hell.
There's only so much you can take
Before you're breathing with death.

Swallowing bullets coated in sugar,
Kissing the lips of invisible thorns;
Wrapping arms around stars burning up,
And thawing at ice while feeling the warmth.

Touching the fingers of a frozen fire,
And believing the swirling winds;
Singing along with the song of a liar
Till you finally break within.

I'll step across that blinding light.
I'll build upon the life that's mine.
I'll yell my dreams aloud at night.
I won't let the colours go out of sight.
I'll try my best to get shut eye.
I'll try to stand up for my rights.
I won't give up the fight so kind.
But forgive me if I falter along the line;
Maybe get drunk or a little high.
Maybe fall in love and cover my cries.
Maybe I'll even laugh some lies.
I'll put on a well-masked smile.
I'll pretend that I'm completely fine.
I'll show the world my pearly whites.
But promise me you'll be by my side
When I finally lose my mind.

Do you just ever want to get high?
Do you just ever want not to try?
Do you just ever want to feel alive?
But also recover without a cry?

Do you just ever not want to hear an alarm?
Do you just ever want to be noise amidst calm?
Do you just ever feel no harm?
But also know you still feel your arm?

You know that sense when you're feeling mellow?
You know that deepness when you're in the shallow?
You know that whisper that's in a bellow?
That's when you know you're not just an echo.

In the distance
I see a silhouette.
I know that it's you
'Cause you were my cigarette.

I breathed you in
And blew you out.
Again and again
A permanent pout.

I knew you were destructive
Yet I chose to stay.
I knew I would be broken
Yet I didn't go away.

With damaged lungs you left me
And watched me fight for breath.
Once I regained consciousness,
I could walk, but still a little dead.

I healed the burns
And stitched the wounds.
But they tear from time to time
Because you want them to.
(Or I think you do)

I know every feature
Of the darkness that is you.
Because my love was innocent,
And you showed me your truth.

Hold your breath
Count to ten,
Don't let go
Keep it in.

Lift a brick
Dig a hole,
Jump inside
Keep holding on.

Shut your eyes
And don't breathe,
Stay in there
Don't be free.

Now climb out,
Run a mile.
Swim a lap
Don't breathe, but smile.

Greet some people,
Hug a few
But even then
Don't you dare spew.

Do you feel at ease?
Is it a wonderful feel?
That's the strength I have
To walk past you like a breeze.

In the spark of a lighter on a cigarette
In the sparkle of a twilight star
In the shine of an eye in a veteran portrait
In the glint of sun through a drizzle war.

In the shimmer of dust in the early sunlight
In the gleaming midnight moon
In the shining tears of happy eyes
In the glittering outline of a paper cartoon.

In all these simple sights it lies-
The buried, hidden treasure.
A feast for all the demonic eyes-
The epitome of pleasure.

Cold and nasty winter. Never ending. I cried and cried and cried. The world swirled around me like a malfunctioning round-about. I wanted to bury myself under the snow, and maybe just freeze forever. Or maybe just freeze time so that I could correct everything. So that I could make everything right.

I kept escaping into trances- black and white. No reds or blues or greens or yellows. Not one speck of joy to be seen. I drifted and drifted and lost contact with the real world, and just let go. It was so intense, pain and anger and frustration, and pouring into this goblet of madness from my blind eyes, too used to monotony, trying to look for a wormhole into a different galaxy. I cried tears of silver and cold. Cold they were, like the air around me. Alone, I was; body and head not matching pace. Everything swung around, floating dots of faint colour, dying hope, raging flames, nails across a chalkboard- making me cringe with discomfort and yell. What were these nonsensical mind games? Plucking out my brain bit by bit and making pickle out of the pieces. Yanking my strings, forcing them to snap and a constant shriek within my head.

And suddenly my soul collapsed. I was dead.

Round-abouts of confusion
A ship of misconception.

Free falling into fire,
But only getting higher.

Together but alone,
Still holding onto hope.

Slowly the fire dies,
Waves begin to arise.

And suddenly something breaks,
Even though he still cared.

It's the sound of a shattering heart,
Faults on both parts.

Constellations breaking,
Connections tearing.

Last night she loved him,
Well into the foggy morning.

Tonight she just cries,
Asking herself why?

She wonders if he's doing the same,
How long must she pray?

Know that she cares,
Know that she dares.

She sees his girl,
But does he see she's hurt?

But perhaps it's okay,
She needs to drift away.

Swooning in love
It started out,
Or at least I think.
But was it just betrayed trust?

Fall outs and patch ups,
Confusion and bliss;
A wonderland in my head
That's all it was.

You built me up
And broke me down,
Didn't care
Didn't hurt.

The final time you broke me down,
I built myself from ruins;
Didn't stumble
Didn't drown.

Since you broke me down,
Can you see
How far I've come?
I've retrieved my crown.

One day I'll be there
To thank you for it,
One sharp glance
And you'll be hit.

I won't break you down,
Just my creation.
I won't steal your crown,
Just your humiliation.

When you're falling down,
Call an angel to the ground;
Help each other out.

Hello everybody!
I have successfully published an anthology titled "Supernova" with 28 of my poems. It is such a great honour to be able to have a published book this early in my life :')

I would appreciate it if you looked it up at the link mentioned below.
Thank you! :)

I swear to God
If you don't sleep,
You'll keep being sick
And never break free.

Maybe the day I stop
Looking around for you,
Maybe the day I stop
Trying to hide the truth,
Maybe the day I stop
Turning away from you,
Maybe the day I stop
Hiding like a fool,
Is the day I'll finally stop
Trying to forget you,
But only forgive all
And move on without you*.

When the summer comes
Hold me close.
Even as it passes,
Don't let me go.

Cherish me like
A divine rhythm.
Don't let me cry
With pain, and wither.

Watch with me
The golden rays,
Setting into the sea
And building faith.

And when it rains,
Dance with me.
Don't leave me in despair,
Make me shine and gleam.

Treat me like
A delicate feather.
Don't tell me lies
Clad in leather.

Feel with me
The icy breeze,
Ruffling sheets
Where ends would meet.

Under the clouds
Of winter snow,
Don't talk loud,
Just whisper low.

Speak to me
In a silent tone,
Make me feel
Like where you are is home.

Hold my hand,
Let's build a castle.
An enchanting land-
Not a single battle.

As frozen trees
Melt into smiles,
Make this heart feel
Like it's worthwhile.

As a pretty bud
Blossoms into a flower,
Have me stunned,
Don't let me falter.

These are things
I meant when I said to you,
Yet you wanted to win
So you left me strewn.

When the summer came,
You held me close.
But just as it passed,
You let me go.

Beauty may present itself in front of you
In the most unique of forms,
But you are the only one who
Can truly recognize it
Even during storms♥

So, I haven't posted a poem in a while and that's because
a) I had my term exams
and
b) I am publishing an anthology, consisting of 28 of my poems, so basically I've had to work on the publishing and things, so I've been a bit busy, but I'm going to post ASAP!

Too tired to fall asleep,
I stared at a vivid flickering screen
And forced myself to eat.

1:15 a.m to 4:45 a.m
The hours- I didn't notice them,
But asleep I almost fell.

I dragged myself into slumber
And into a trance I clambered,
The blinding darkness I remember.

I awoke moments later
Under my demons' satire,
Stuck in a crater.

Everything was a blur
Four walls were six saboteurs,
And colours astir.

All attempts to cry for help
And get away from a faint death knell,
Just shoved me deeper into my shell.

Uselessly trying to move around,
My gasps were so profound
And I could hear the deafening sound.

I tasted my own fear
And flung it with tears,
The end must have been near.

The agitation was intense
Sweat ran down by head
And negativity within me spread.

I was trapped inside myself,
To a gust of wind against my chest
I almost succumbed to be at rest.

And then I ran as fast as I could,
Although blind, I said I would
Escape this maddening noose.

Silenced screams were now heard
And out loud I said "cursed"
I was finally free from paralysis unheard.

When I fade with wind
And go to heaven or hell
I want to take you.

If I go to hell
You are destined to heaven
To live with the Gods.

I want you with me
Even if heaven summons,
For, I curse you not.

Everything looks better with the rain,
Even pain feels better with it.
Everything sounds better with the rain,
Even cries sound better with it.

If you stand under
A pouring cloud,
And let tears stream
Down your face,
Only you can feel
And only you know
That you're in pain.

If you scream in the open
Between howls of the wind
Amidst a hurricane,
Only you can feel
And only you know
Your lungs going breathless
And that you're in pain.

But the pain doesn't stop
Neither does the rain,
You continue to feel broken
You're still feeling faint.

So how does the rain
Make everything seem better?
How does it
Ease the pain?

It eases hurt
And discomfort.
Not for you,
But the others.

Dear God,
If you exist,
Show me light.
If you exist,
Tell me what's right.
If you're real,
Guide me out
Of this vortex
Of false dreams and hopes.

Dear God,
If you are in me,
Cleanse my demons.
If you live within,
Eradicate the monsters.
If you dwell inside,
Overwhelm me with happiness.

Dear God,
If you are substantial,
Help me reach the stars.
If you are existential,
Let me break out
Of my sealed shell.

Dear God,
If you are worth believing in,
Show me why.
If I must be loyal,
Tell me why.
If I must pray to you,
Give me reason.

But, dear God,
If you cease to exist,
And fail to show me
The mysteries
And wonders
Of the world beyond
My fears and obstacles,
I will not
And cannot
Believe in anything more
Than the demons
Inside me,
The monsters
Eating me.
I will be left
With no option,
But to be faithful
To the devils
And cry my troubles
On to their deaf ears,
Only to see
That my worries-
They just double.

Dear God,
I want to believe
That you exist.
I want to be able
To see the truth.
I want to believe
That you are the truth.
I want to be able
To notice your deeds
And be a loyal being
To your blessing.

But, dear God,
I just need you
To show me you are here
And to guide me
Away from my fears.

I know not
Why I'm choked back
By tears in my throat
And my eyes
Travelling into a haze.

But God,
If you hear me,
Tell me what
I want to hear.
Tell me you're there
Tell me you love me
Tell me you'll bless me
Tell me you care.

Please,
Dear God,
Don't let me
Slip into the demon's lair.

She’s touched
By the burning fingers
Of a man
She doesn’t know.

Her hopes crushed
By the feeling that lingers
Of a night
She will always know.

Her clothes ripped
Her unheard cries,
Her body stripped
To fight she tries.

Her face is kissed
By a stranger
The man, he hissed
She’s in danger.

She is left rotten
As he walks past
Disappearing into the night
Time drags.

She thought she’d die
She believed she would
No one to hear her cry
No one understood.

With shaky fingers
And sweating chest
She wraps her skin
In clothes of strength.

She stumbled across
On to the street
She’s suffered a loss
A tragedy.

She thought she’d die
But now she wouldn’t
She didn’t cry
She knew she shouldn’t.

A girl is strong
A girl can fight
Right or wrong
A bird’s flight.

She walked home
In clothes of pride
Although scars showed
She didn’t hide.

Justice to her
Must be given
A promise to her
Must be written.

A girl is not
A piece of meat
A girl is worth
More than this feat.

A kiss from a stranger
A touch from a finger
A scream that’ll linger
For years to remember.

A girl is much more
She isn’t to blame,
Fire at the core
A burning flame.

All it takes
Is a scarring explosion
From girls sick
Of ruthless exploitation.

**She fights like a girl
She runs like a girl
She hits like a girl
She is a girl.

She's got the strength
And the power
To rule the world
And to conquer.