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 May 2015 saranade
Ella Gwen
Dear Seb,
My infatuation with you did not impress.

Dear Josh,
We were 5000 feet above sea level, with a fear of heights.
Desperation fuelled the climb.

Dear Dave,
You were my first love.
You chew me up and refuse to spit me out.

Dear Dan,
I am sorry.

Dear Alex,
You should be sorry.
Black and purple did not suit my skin.

Dear Shea,
We tried too hard.
We lived in too many shadows.

Dear Dave,
I cannot get you out of my bones.
You squat beneath my ribcage.

Dear Craig,
You gave me disillusion with meaningful words.
I tried to love you.

Dear Joe,
You are breathtaking and the everything of everything.
And I do not know how to be enough.

Dear Keith,
Why did we do it?

Dear Theo,
I would have broken that softness in your eyes.

Dear Dave,
Your indelible imprint colours everything I do.

Dear Cameron,
You are my what's next.

Dear Joe,
You stroked my hand and my hair to wake me.
You are afraid of me.

Dear Dave,
I still remember every word.
Every one.

Dear Lucas,
In my head we had infinity.

Dear Matthew,
I was a vacuum in your life.
Together we were less than nothing.

Dear Joe,
You are the birds singing at dawn.
Why do you want me?

Dear Dave,
I still remember.
 May 2015 saranade
Jack Thompson
These drinks that I drink.
Unload my all, meet me at the brink.
More and more just one more.
Bring me the words I should ink.
Take me through ecstasy past pain.
Show me the light I'll pour it down the drain.
Show me reason and take this pen.
It's forgotten as I was then.
© All Rights Reserved Jack Thompson 2015
 May 2015 saranade
collin
22 years ago you bled for me
in the years that followed you led for me
never once have you fled from me
you would find yourself dead for me
before you would find me hurt
and for that i love you
more than words
 May 2015 saranade
Cameron Crew
Seeing his body lying before me felt unreal
If I only knew of the pain he would feel
As my shades shades the rays and hides my sobbing gaze
Never would I have thought to see this day
Tears fill my eyes as I hug his mother
He use to be like my blood,my brother
She says "His saddness is at an end."
The pain is indescribable watching them bury your oldest friend.
 May 2015 saranade
Isabel
Suicide
 May 2015 saranade
Isabel
I promise you I don't want to **** myself
This isn't a letter saying goodbye
Not a poem blaming you for not seeing this coming
But sometimes
When I'm all alone
I sit in the bath just a little bit longer,
hoping and hoping I drift off to sleep
Or smoke three cigarettes
one after the other after the other
and hope my lungs get so filled with tar that I
stop breathing
Or stand dangerously close to the edge of a building
and close my eyes hoping the wind might *******
just hard enough to fall

It's easy to imagine
I know what everyone would say
How some people would cry
And some would secretly be glad
Some would feel guilt
Others sorrow
And in about a week it wouldn't matter

But I want to matter
Whether it be to just my mom
Or the man I helped cross the street
I want to matter

And so I tuck those thoughts deeper in the closet
And I step away from sharp objects and steep edges
And I sit and write poetry
Poetry will be the death of us all
Anyway
I wrote this months and months ago and just found it, it's more of a journal entry than anything
 May 2015 saranade
LuLu
Cried out eyes
Haunted by dreams
Even when awake
Inside I scream

An echo through my mind
Tormented, I weep
The pain so excruciating
The secrets I keep

Darkness surrounds me
Taking my breath away
Somehow this life
Has lead me astray

My wrists bleed to just feel
The blood covers the floor
I have sewn them closed
Continuing to fight this war

Regrets have consumed me
My heart cries in vain
My mind is the enemy
Thirteen million miles from sane

This is the real me
I have hidden so deep
I have shed my skin
I struggled so hard to keep

Alone in the dark
Depression has eaten me alive
Anxiety its partner
I don't think I'll survive

Look past my facade
I am broken within
This cancer has forsaken me
I am too weakened to win
I had a heart
That i loved so much
So you entered my rib cage
Just to rip it apart
Play with my hair
Make me high
High on ***
Not high on drugs

Make me sweat
Now make me moan
Please go deeper
And don't stop

Make it hurt
Now make me cry
And don't let
This be last time

We are teens
Yet we know how to play
How to pose and how to sweat
And don't let this play be last
Again i wanna feel your precious lust
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