Dull eyes
Dark under-eye rings
Dazed look.

She was tired,
But sleep,
Not even a weekend's worth of it,
Could cure her tiredness.

For she felt hopeless,
Driven to desperation.

Whispers in the dark,
Colors that cry,
Hallucinations that haunt your head,
Inside your body a parasite crawls,
Fear,
It lurks inside of you,
Running from no one,
No one,
Trembling,
Scratching at the thoughts,
The urges,
These voices are your only friend,
Let it take control,
Control you lack
Insanity incurs with hysteria,
Schizophrenia.

I have you
all the good parts
none of the bad
but I still cry myself to sleep

Why hasn't my reflection grown thinner
Why is nothing fulfilling
Why do my addictions grow
Why do I still feel dead
Why haven't my thoughts turned pretty

Why haven't you fixed me?
Can anyone fix me?

I like to pretend
I no longer have a heart
but sometimes
I pull it out of the bottom drawer
and speak to it
just so it knows
that I know
its still there
and apologize
for all I have poured over it
to bury its existence
and all the times
I gave it to the undeserving
I make promises
that it will be freed again
someday
then safely tuck it away
and sneak back out of her house.

She sits in her little ball
of self diagnosed depression,
self inflicted sadness
and weeps dry tears
she sobs hoping someone
will stop
hoping prince charming will pick her up
even though she knows
he does not exist.

I feel sorry for this girl,
she has no one
as I watch her life through glass walls,
(glass walls that I can't break down)
she has become my favourite channel.
each season is almost the same as the last;
like a horrible soap opera
except this is real.
people see her,
pause for a moment,
weigh up the pros and cons
then continue on
like she was never there.

Very suddenly her life
becomes dark
and she's controlling the storm clouds
the roll and crash and boom
the spinning of a
self destructive tornado.
it rains blood on the world
shedding the now only present colour.
its all become black and white.
Its all become black and white
and she's dissolving in the smoke.
with a broken smile on her face,
she floats away on *** and coke.