Remind myself that I am alive
Break my heart several times
Show my history like a map pinned where I started
Where I stayed
Remind myself that I need to move
That I need to run
Run away, or run to
Remind myself that I need to run to you
Because when I am next to you I don't need to
Remind myself
For it is with you I know I am alive
And it is next to you I don't mind staying

My generation is one of mechanical hearts but real flesh
Real brains and a real chest
It's just we have grown from broken limbs and hard breaths from getting knocked down
That we put up a wall
made of stainless steel on the outside of our most precious mussel
trying to save it
But the thing is we never took it off so it just built on the other making a hard casting with pipes that pumped blood for you
It's not comfortable
But it what our mistakes has made which in return made us forget about passion and compassion
Focusing on our hurt and our deception
That instead of leading this country to greatness
We are leading it to the fire
That only seems to grow higher and higher
We made it where we can't get enough oxygen so we make it artificial
Every problem that comes up we make it beneficial to only us
We turn too much to the inside that we concave
if we don't stop
It's not just going to be hearts
That are machines
If we don't stop
We will all be
A society
Of robots
and it would be my generations fault because it was one who spent their lives making mechanical hearts when they didn't account for the rain that is always bound to come and tear the mechanical heart apart

I enjoy going to places you have been
I like to think that I'm walking where you did and our feet are touching with every step
People say that I'm like you in many ways
That I don't want to conform to the world
But rather live beside it
That I adventure
Not for the view
But for the message
That I don't know were I'm going
But it looks like I know how to get there
And it only make me wish I knew you
So maybe I could know me

Get your head out from the sky
You will only hurt your neck
And get sick
I don't understand why people talk us up
When they know our dreams are nothing more than clouds
Our goals being the prize of few when truth only comes through sips of alcohol and anger
You wish you didn't even dream in the first place
Or at the very least
Kept it to yourself
Because getting whiplash
Every time you wake up
And find your reality
Not being real
But more of a nightmare
You might find yourself
Grasping for dreams to save you
Only to find a handful of sand

What if the biggest rush in life is taking your last breath
Having everything flow through you
And out
All your memories suddenly start to  play a movie on fast forward with people dancing across the projector of your mind
It must be a lovely sight
But then afterwords come
People all the sudden pretending to know you
Said they talked to you
They will dress up in pretty black laced dresses and the men will be wearing nice button down shirts with suits
It's a nice costume
there will be hundreds at your funeral
But you will only know a few
Funny how people start listing when your dead for many will speak about your jokes as if they found them interesting
Study them  for a underlying meaning
Missing the pun completely
Because once you have gone extinct
People start to see you as a specimen rather than a person  
And sometimes I am convinced it'll be easier
To greet death when you see everyone in your life slowly turn green
Including yourself

I wish I could see that last sparkle in your eyes
Or the last smile that cross your face
So I could keep it like a photograph and take it with me everywhere I will go
I often wonder what your last thought was
I like to think that maybe it was about the ocean and how it whispers to you telling you secrets
when everything else is completely quiet and everyone has gone home
Or maybe it's the last thing you learned or the last memory you made
It could have been how you are going to miss the end of your favorite tv show
or was it possibly me
You know I never understood how the earth dares to keep moving when someone who meant so much to you leaves it
How there are still the sounds of oceans and still things to be learned and new memories to make
And how that same stupid tv show will still be broadcasting a new episode each week
Like it never lost a very important viewer
It mocks me in a way because I want the world to stop
I want to stop for a chance to catch my breath
Just for a second so I can tell my body you are never coming back
but the world still spins on its axis remaining to be
The one thing
I wanted to give you
But you're not here to take it

Some people talk about forever as if it's tomorrow
So why don't you stay and count the stars with me until we see it raising up in the sun
Slow our heart beat
And focus
So we don't miss it
Where we get caught up in the goodbyes
And we trip on apologies and lies
Because the night changes
And it shifts
So the stars you are looking at now you may never see again
So make sure that if you wish
it's a good one
Close your eyes and think hard
So while your wishing
You can't help but smile and be happy
And possibly sleepy cause my hands are getting sweaty
And my thoughts are getting foggy
And I don't want this moment to end
So lay on my shoulder and forget the earth beneath us
As we count the possible wishes waiting
Till forever comes

Don’t live life in anticipation
But expect failure
Embrace it
As a memory that keeps occurring
Smile at it
But don’t be ignorant
Thinking that life will be easy
Believe in the best case scenario
And the plan that was put together since the beginning of time
Don’t focus on one thing
Because all you’ll get is dizzy
Remember the first day of any job you decide to take
So you will have something to compare a bad day to
Continue to learn freely
and embrace the times that you don’t know what you’re doing
And find someone who does
Gather friends for life
Instead of friends for a moment
Because moments mean nothing if there isn’t any memories put behind it
remember to take care of your family and values
For those are the things that truly matter
And don’t, under any circumstances
Forget me
Don’t lose yourself in the world
Because you will only be here for a number of years before you leave everything behind
So Keep your head up
Stand when you cry
Love and trust
And forgive and
Don’t forget...
Just Breath
Love, pass you

As you look at me with anger
Your eyes providing a window to what really your heart is after
And I don’t know if what you are looking for is an apology
Or a promise to move on from this topic
In hopes of distracting me from finding the very thing I set out to free
I have grown callus to your statements full of resolve and sympathy
Understanding that life isn’t full of flowers
I find myself falling and tripping over false memories
Knowing the person standing in front of me is mimicking who they think I want them to be
So as you stand with chest out and eyes wide
Know that I’m not sorry
I know who I am
I just wish I could say the same about you

That reality faze into the background and suddenly I’m in a pool
Holding my breath
Surrounded by matter
But alone
And sometimes I wonder of how to combat
This
How to stop thinking of what my skin would like if I thinly slice a thread exposing the warm dark red underneath
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to let go of the matter
And give into the pressure
Stop living a life that was written in fairy tale font
Skipping over the intrusive thoughts
Jumbling my wants and my destiny together
And try to navigate a lie of a perfectly put together person
Of an imposter
And sometimes I wonder who I would of been if I just breathed in all the insecurities and confidently
Remind me

Please pick the words carefully
Because I don’t want to wish that I never knew your name
That if I could go back I would
And sleep in my comfortable bed
instead of meet you that day
We both said things we didn’t mean
Conjured up feelings I didn’t know I have
And it might be true that maybe it shouldn’t be me and you
Maybe this is just a chapter in our book
That needs to end
But understand that when we first met eyes
I did see forever
I saw you for who I wanted you to be
I knew of all the possibilities and
Unfortunately knew that loving you would be like you handing me a rope and pointing to the nearest tree
So please
What ever you are about to say
Please don’t **** me

Little did I know that it wasn’t the dancing you minded but the music
You prefer it to be your own
And I think I get it now
After many years in sweaty places filled with strange glances from people that I don’t care to know the names of
Listening to the loud music
Sung by wealthy people trying to relate to the heartache
While they sit on golden thrones
Thinking of how I didn’t even want to go out in the first place
And that I should of just avoided it all together
But it wasn’t the loud place that I minded
But seeing your face
Across the crowd
Headphones in
Dancing
Wishing that I didn’t listen to the background noise
And instead listen to
You

Between my dreams and reality
Between wanting to remember and struggling with forgetting
And forgiving
The past versions of myself
Wanting to grow
But not wanting to shed the best parts of me
It’s overwhelming
Not knowing what is waiting around the corner
Not knowing if I want to stick around for it
All this changing that is forever happening around me
It’s difficult to know what version of myself I will be
Or who I want to be
Succumbing to the feeling that I might not have the choice
That sometimes its merely just living with decisions that I’m making
And breathing through it