Fire reaching for the rafters, sirens in my ears.
It's burning and spreading, it has been for years.

Living life comfortably is an easy task to preform here.
But the true and greatest challenge is living life uncomfortably.
Its living faithfully to Christ through stress and great pressure.
Yet accepting the uncomfortable life here , to be used by God.
To draw others unto him through using you to reach out to them.
By them seeing his Love, Mercy, and Peace residing within you.
Seeing that you accept the uncomfortable life while praising God.
Knowing that even your life is hard you are still praising Jesus.
Thus they want to have what you have the strength I mean.
To be able to praise Christ while everything is falling apart in your life.

I'm afraid that you are
hiding

that you don't mean the things
you say

it's because of a history I have with you
that can't be wiped away

I'm afraid that you are
lonely

that I don't fill your lover's
wounds

that even when I sit with you,
you're in an empty room

I'm afraid that these are parts
we play

that this is all a grand old
stunt

and that I don't love you, nor you love me
and that might be just what I want.

I like to think I've seen,
my fair share of life.
A city man,
sculpted of concrete and steel.
My years on this earth may be yet,
short.
That life however,
opened my eyes to much.
I know about the lows of man,
about how far some of us will stoop.
About what it means to survive.
But,
You dragged me,
drunk and complaining,
out into the hills.
You sat me in the back of your truck,
and you showed me the stars.
I don't know if it was the urban lighting,
that burns eternally,
or just that I'd never looked.
But you showed me the stars that night,
in all their luminescent glory.
I will never forget that.

Love in my heart was a fresh tide flowing
Where the starlike sea gulls soar;
The sun was keen and the foam was blowing
High on the rocky shore.
But now in the dusk the tide is turning,
Lower the sea gulls soar,
And the waves that rose in resistless yearning
Are broken forevermore.

-The Name That Should Never Be Spoken*

I know you still think about him. and I'm sorry to tell you that you still will. the color green will never be the same for you and you'll still flinch every time you hear his name. and I'm so sorry because he doesn't give a crap about you. no matter how many times you change your outfit in the morning for the slim chance he might remember your name.

he won't. he will never.

you're just another girl that's infatuated with him. you're just another victim. stop being a victim. he's not worth it. loving him is not worth it. love isn't supposed to hurt that much. I know we don't have that much experience in the love department but I know you're not supposed hate loving someone. you're so dumb for giving every part of yourself to him. didn't you realize there was nothing left. didn't you realize that you started to become a shadow of who you once were, but even that was fading. I know it hurts and it still does. you won't even bring yourself to say his name, so don't. because he is not worth it. he was a waste of time.

you deserve someone who will love you back and will actually remember your name. you deserve someone who will touch you without even putting his hands on you. you deserve someone who could take off your party dress and see the memories and heartaches and laughs laced into your skin along with the dreams and hopes. you deserve someone who's strips away all of the anger you have underneath your pores because that's all you really wanted to take off.