The music was on and the windows were down
The sun was shining on your face as we drove around
And we almost hit a couple seagulls and we were a little too loud
But other times it was okay to not make a sound
We stopped at Target since you missed your dad's birthday
So much for being a "responsible adult" and everything
And then you cracked a smile worth writing about and turned the wrong way
And even now I have nothing to say
But whenever I turn around I expect you to be there
And whenever I walk though Target I think of you in a bow tie and suspenders
And when someone calls out from the kitchen I imagine it's your voice
And then I accept that it's not since I don't really have a choice
Because someone put their stamp on you, babe you're spoken for
But whenever I think of you, I'll always think of a red bow tie in a superstore

I'm sorry.
I know our relationship has been failing.
Slowly sliding down the hill and neither one of us cares.
we really don't care.
I wish you would have known.
Known when to say when.
Known when you couldn't take anymore.
I thought you knew.

I am here for you now.
I'm the only one you need.
Embrace me.
Love me.
Feel my presence.
I care.
I care jess.
So do you.
I know it.

These bad memories come and go
That happened long ago

But the pain remains the same
I can still feel the shame

Dad comes home and we all flee from the scene
Always following his same old routine

The fighting and yelling is all we can hear
Locked away and filled with fear

We’re crying out for help to get out of here
But it’s not too long before another bruise appears

We suffered for years and cried so many tears
So much hate has filled our ears

We taught ourselves from right and wrong
We learned from each others mistakes
With no guidance from our parents the decisions were ours to make

Dad got away and left us again
But mom gave in and let him back in

I don’t know if that’s something I can let go
Even though it happened long ago

Going to sleep
With *** on my lips
You on my mind
And bruises on my hips

I cant tell
If i have no self respect
Or maybe my mentality
Is just wrecked

Or maybe this is healthy
The entertain and please
After all im a ****
And you have needs

What a perfect match
I have what you want
But I dont want anything
Isnt that just hot

I dont even ******* know
Who the hell i am

Sleep eludes me yet again
My worries and mistakes are keeping me awake
All I do is ache anymore
For god sakes, give me a break

I feel like I have a ton of bricks on my shoulders
They weigh me down and leave me feeling much older

I wish things could come easily to me
Then I could finally be free,
Free from this misery that I carry daily

These words are trite, but there the only ones I know
I need to swallow my sorrows in order to grow
It’s time to move on, time to let go

feet slip in the water
Wondering why i even bother

Looking into that deep abyss
I think about what's amiss

Staring at my own reflection
every answer for contemplextion

You can't have what you want
For you want it too much;
Your obsession destroys
Everything that you touch.

It's like you squeeze so tight
Until he cannot breathe;
Then he must run or die,
As you refuse relief.

It is blatant nature;
Obvious as you go
Bathe in your ignorance
And put on the same show.

The tears,  "I don't know why"
But we tell you each time:
You must love at distance,
Tone down your persistence
And love him enough so
He will not want to go.

I’m watching everything so closely pass me by in just a blink of an eye
Before I know it a day, a week, a month, a year has gone by
I wish that was a lie

Knowing I’m going to pay the cost
When I have realized what I have lost

I just don’t get why I sit here and wait
I think I’m losing my faith

I can’t find my way
I wish I knew what path to take

I feel so alone and confused
I wish I could do the things I need to do
I just need to push aside my fears to make it through