15th August:
It supposed to be my grand day,
Where people celebrates my birth,
Throwing parties and hand shakes,
Spelling out birthday wishes,
Gifts,
Cakes,
Hugs,
and kisses.
In reality,
I wasted my grand day.
I sit back and isolate myself.
It was supposed to be my grand day,
But I felt that it doesn't even matter,
to not celebrate it anyways.
It was supposed to be my grand day,
But nothing can stop my dull emotions,
and decided to let my day goes away.
It was supposed to be my grand day,
But no one seem to care about it anyways,
and so I kept my second week of August dull,
avoiding conversations and outings.
2 months ago, I had a dream,
of me, lying down in my death bed.
I screamed out of frustration of being death,
but gladly, it was only a dream,
that woke me up from my bed.
It was supposed to be my grand day,
Where I would be the main character on the 15th August,
Doing things I could not do, and
Enjoying the luxury for one day.
It was supposed to be my grand day,
That I must be grateful,
that I lived,
and aged another year,
But somehow...
These days...
I felt that birthdays are just another day,
and I felt there is no necessary need to celebrate it.
It was supposed to be my grand day,
But these days, I don't even mind about these things,
I am not that old yet, but
Seeing through my days,
Putting a full stop to my timeline
would still be an okay for me.
I just had my birthday, but this is the first time I never give any attention to it. Am I missing something in my life? Did I do something? Is it okay for me to be like this?