She needs to know how much she means to me
She needs to know how much I care
She needs to know the love I have for her
A love that will never show weakness in her time of need
A love that will show her i'll be there.
There for all the little things and the not so little things
She needs to know,  i'll always be there
She needs to know

01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself

02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself

Secretly, I envied you...
Forgive me if it presumes too much
To wish you happiness and comfort.
As far as I can tell, you'd have me think
Those things are not for you.

I used to think that this was appalling,
and pity the creature who lays claim
To misery as their lot.
but
Secretly, I envied you, before even
Understanding,
That my pity was like hatred,
A misery in its own right,
And worse than that which I judged.
I resented the affront, another deadly sin,
And you were right.  
You were right again.
You were right.
All along...

I won't compare you with the moon,
Because for me you're like the sun,
My whole world revolves around you.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!



Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/if-by-rudyard-kipling#ixzz3ogpfN1hg
#FamilyFriendPoems

started with a few beers I drank next door
at Micky's place , her telling me about her sick kid
and how her dialysis went today. She updated me
on the minutes from the last meeting of
the Clayhatchee Man Haters Club.

They actually have T-shirts and little pins,
and I asked if possibly I could be named
the Most Hated Man-of -the-Month.
No, she said, we all love you, she answered.
Well, **** what do I have to do to be honored, then
I said.

Felt small, for, I do love being honored.
Then, I hugged her, as she always insists I do
before leaving, and went  home straight to my fridge. Wrestled with the twelve pack
I just bought earlier, and six beers fell to the floor.

I put them in a bag and visited my best friend Shannon
and his adorable wife, Nancy, right across the street. I enjoy them, a card Shannon is, he works construction, as I do. And I guess I semi-intentionally did not tell him the beer I offered him had fallen, with a thud to the floor. I gave his wife one too but tapped the top before.
I got (us workers only understand practical jokes)
a big laugh as he opened his and it foamed up through all over.

So out of beer, I and my shadow, walked barefoot acroos the
street to Alice's Convenience store to add a backup stash to my three
beers left. On the way back across Hwy 92 asphalt I heard clickety clack as my shadow was right there, a Black lab, who was left for her alone by some ******* and she turned up on my doorstep hungry.

Amazing how little it takes to make true love. A little food, a pet on
a head, a dry place to lay a head occasionally, amazing how a shadows
long nails clickety-clack on the asphalt. My shadow loves me , is there as soon as I get home her tail wagging.
She ran in my apartment as I put two Olde English in the fridge to cool
in case I needed them later, jumped right onto the couch and rested her head on my pillow.

I opened up my browser, did a little checking on my sites and notices.
Then Big head, I call him that, he is about a year old with the head of a soccer ball came through the open door. Looked over the food dishes took a nibble or two, then jumped up next to my shadow and pushed his head against the black lab, purring.

Big head just started hanging here a week ago. Where he came from , I don't know. But he is welcome, the looks of my two stray female, not spayed yet cats, Panda and Babay, attest to that.

Eventually I will drink a couple more beers , write something, almost like this, and try to find a spot to lie down, if all my shadows let me.

my happiness, tonight
is never ended.