I watched you as
you tore apart
my countless journals of poems
You continuously told me that
writing poetry was a waste
of what I could be
doing.

You read each poem
before you tore them
and I wish I had seen
compassion grow in your eyes
but only hatred did.

Countless poems about you
about her
about him
about myself
about father
about the world
and all I heard was
"These are all pitiful."

It was well noted that I wouldn't
show you another of my poems
just incase you hated those too
and then I would be here
watching as the compassion drains from
your warm brown eyes and hatred
grows in them

Alone we were
on this Sunday afternoon.

I was crying and
so were you.

'I love you's
poured from our lips
trying to reassure the other,
but mostly ourselves.

Soon rain poured upon us
like our tears poured
upon our cheeks.

And we knew that God was
saying sorry for making
me have to leave.

We sat in a field dressed in formal attire.

This is what we get for leaving my mother's wedding.

You kept asking if we would go back,
and I simply don't have an answer.

I've spent my entire life running from things like this,
and never returning since I can't handle it.

But then I met you and I could come back to you.
I could tell you that I hated you and I loved you at the same time.

Before I knew it we were kissing in this field,
and I had no control over the situation.

Articles of clothing were being pealed off our skin and I stopped you.
I couldn't do this;
not like this
not now.

You apologized and gave me back my black dress,
and I gave you back your white button up.

"I currently love you."

The statement made you smiled and you nodded.

"I currently love you too."

And with that we got up and went back to the wedding,
even though we smelt of hormones and love.

You are a fool.
In one month's time
I bet you will be
heartbroken.

I warned you
countless times.
I threatened you
more than necessary.

I just want you
to be happy,
but you believe
you love her.

It's a shame really,
that you're this
blinded.

You will not be happy,
all you're doing is
grasping at temporary
affection.

And all temporary affection
leaves you with is
a bad taste
in the back of your
mouth.

Your girlfriend accepts me now.
We're apparently friends,
well we aren't
but she and I are.

You two casually
give each other
kisses in the
morning.
But once it came to
the afternoon you saw me
and gave her a hug before
leaving.

She yelled at you
to come back
and give her a proper
goodbye
but you wouldn't.

And I wonder why.