Remus

Remus Nov 2014

Best Friends
We smiled at
each other and
inside jokes
were the
whole of the
both of us.

Our greetings
were hugs that
lasted up to
five seconds
and made
both of us
smile.

Distant
We haven't smiled
at each other in
weeks.
I ignore your
glances because
you refuse
my hugs as
a greeting since you
began dating her.

Acquaintance*
We don't speak now,
when around each other
our eyes never meet.
But I know if
either of us called out
the other would come
running.

*No matter what anyone else thought.

#friends #feelings #sad #life #depressed #ex-friends

Remus Nov 2014

My Peers

My love for people
is small.

I've been
kicked around,
tossed to the
ground,
and belittled
by my peers.

So becoming friends
with someone is
hard.

I push them away
and hope they'll
go away.
I hope that maybe
I can get them
to hate me
even though
I don't actually
want that.

So when I fell in love
with you
I didn't push you
away.
I held you close
as you tried to
escape.
How the tables
have turned
for me.

#love #sad #life #friendship #relationship #you

Remus Nov 2014

Not Okay

I joke
at a
constant.

Whether it be about
myself or nothing at all,
I still joke.

Sometimes it hurts
laughing at my self hatred
since everyone thinks I'm kidding,
hell I even think it sometimes.

But it hurts knowing that
people you care about
don't notice your
smile crumbling and
your life tumbling
until you scream it out to them
"I'm not okay."

#sad #depressed #funny #self-hatred

Remus Oct 2014

It's Cold

It's cold,
the bed
we once
shared.

I'm alone,
now that
your heartbeat
has ceased.

We no longer
share a
connection,
well that
was after
you left
me.

So why do I cry
over someone who
could never love
me back again?

#love #life #hate #death #relationship

Remus Oct 2014

Conquered

Please ignore me
I'm nothing but
a small person
with a fragile
ego.

Please notice him
he deserves some
attention.
He is a small person
with a big
heart
that could crush
Manhattan.

Together we were
complete opposites,
with an orchestra
playing love songs
that had an edgy
feel to them,
we conquered
the world.

Well that was until
I ran away
in fear of
being hurt
again
by someone
I love.

#love #fear #life #hate #relationship #you #sorry #apologies

Remus Oct 2014

Fix You

"I'm going to fix you."

How can you fix something
that isn't broken?
How can you expect me
to not feel offended
and scared over
a statement
like that?

"It was late, I didn't know what I was doing."

You expect me to believe that with
your perfect sentences
and awful grammar that
you always seem to have.
I may be young,
but I am not
dumb.

"I was going to **** myself if it wasn't for you."

Manipulation is so wrong,
and I'm sick to my stomach
now.
How could be like this to
a human being?
I'm sorry that I am no longer
your friend,
that I'm scared to be near you
because of the things
you said.*

I've been in situations like this
before
way too many times
and I'm done.
I'm not dealing with
any of this
anymore.
I don't deserve it,
no one deserves this.

So as I'm crying for
the first time in months,
I hope you've truly
understood that
words are stronger
than you thought they
were.

#love #broken #sad #depression #life #hate #pain #death #you

Remus Sep 2014

Fail

You and I
we were supposed to
supposed to
to, to, to-
What were we
supposed to do again?

Oh yes, we were supposed
to work.
But you had to go and drive
a six inch knife into
my tiny chest.

But thank you anyways
for ******* me over
and hurting me beyond
repair.

We were supposed to work,
not ******* fail
and you made us fail.
And you made us
grow distant.
But I'm the one who
initiated it so
I apologize for that,
but only that.

#love #life #hate #relationship #failure