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When i die,
Will people who know me cry,
Will they worry Why,
Will they even try,
Will they scream and cry for me,
It can happen any place any time.
The feeling of you not being who you are or what you want.
The iron grip in your chest telling you that you are wrong.
The darkness in your heart telling you that this is not what you are.
Feeling that you are a girl when you are meant to be a guy.
Feeling like a guy when you are meant to be a girl.
Feeling like you will never get to the point of being who you want to be.
Feeling alone in the battle of this of identity  and your soul.
Alone you feel and nothing can fix it.
But it will slowly go away in time.
Leaving you woth little confidence and power to make it through the day.
Gender Dysphoria happenes to a lot of people. Not just transgender people. But gender fluid and gender queer. And a whole lot more people out there.
Don’t tell me you’re open minded
When you squeeze your eyes shut
At the mere idea that you *might be wrong.
I’m tired of being second best.
I’m tired of being the one you call at midnight
Wanting to rant and rave about life
And all your ******* ****!

What happened to calling up friends just to say “hey”?
What happened to calling up someone just to tell them you miss them?
What happened to all the good times?
What happened to make me your diary?

I’m tired of being needed only when something goes wrong.
I’m tired of hearing about all your problems!
I’m so ******* tired of texts and calls without so much as a “hi”
I’m tired of you complaining and never taking my advice.

When you can take me seriously
As a friend and a confidante;
When you can take my advice
Rather than coming back with the same complaints again and again;
When you can treat me as a person
And not an emotional punching bag;
Then I might consider letting you back in.

I don’t want to be second best anymore
I don’t want to come after all your issues
But I can’t change the fact that that’s the way you see me.

I’m done with trying to fix things for you
I’m done trying to help you
If you can’t fix yourself and your own problems
Then there’s nothing left for me to say.

When you keep coming back wanting new advice for the same thing
Over and over, there’s nothing I else I can do.
I’ve given you all I have
But you throw it back in my face
So here’s to the end
The end of me being second best to all your problems.
Fact:** My sister is a wonderful human being.


After hearing about the tragedies happening around us, she decides to make paper stars. Lots and lots of stars.

She asks for empty bottles from the neighbours and her friends. She fills the bottles with these stars, folding away all her problems into glass bottles and jars of all shapes and sizes. After she fills the bottles and jars she hands them to her friends and family.

She gives one to me.

The paper stars in a rainbow pattern, they seem so full of wonder. Even if they are nothing more than paper encased in glass.

I take the glass jar and place it on the top shelf of my school locker. Reminding me that I can keep a piece of home and happiness close to me.

But it didn't last.

After I made some mistakes I didn't feel as though I wanted any happiness near me. I wanted to take every bit of hope and hide it away.

I took the jar of paper stars out of my locker 2 days ago.

Holding it close to my chest as I walked down the halls of my school.

My head hanging.
Eyes glued to the floor.

Walking away from everything.

But still sort of hopeful...
Wishing for a bit more optimism.

A shining star.
My sister will always be one of my biggest inspirations.

— The End —