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Let me go
away
from myself
today
I need a respite
please
just let me go
don't squeeze
me tighter
I can't take anymore
the darkness
creeps in
making bad days
seem brighter
than my own thoughts
it's strange how
I used to be a happy
go lucky cherub
not caring about the world
now I'm a hardened cynical *******
who can't work up the nerve to talk to anyone
about anything let alone a girl
so let me go
please
3:37AM
Thats the time it is when im woken up by my dogs growling and a faint sound of screaming and yelling.

I rub my eyes and sit awake. I hear the fighting of the couple next door. The first time i heard them fight, i thought to myself "its none of my business".

The third time, i made up the story in my mind that "maybe they're going through some tuff times."

The fifth time i think "Maybe they had too much to drink". I started to lose count now...

Started to lose count of the number of smacks i heard. Lost count of how many sorries were said. Lost count of how many times "You worthless ****, I don't know why i put up with your ****!" was said.

4:02AM and it is quiet again. I replay in my head what i can do... Call the cops so she will lie to protect him? Get myself involved in something that is none of my business?

It is like water in my ears, fighting to get it out because it hurts when its there.

4:41AM I say a "sorry" under my breath, hoping whispers can travel like water and crash their door down.

7:23AM I walk out to my car, to see both of them smiling...
The outsider is inside,
Inside the house, staring from the crusted window,
The latch calls to her in rusty tones.
She stares upon its existence,
wishing nothing more than to answer.

But the outsider, she is inside,
Her back turned to what she’s built,
Her eyes upon those who are outside,
Can they save her? Would they care to try?

Her elbow rests upon the dusty sill,
Eyes glossy like Rapunzel, the Golden One,
But she has grown old inside the house,
she has grown blind and deaf and dumb.

The outsider, she once wished,
to leave the depths of her understanding,
to venture into the clashing world,
to face the blatant nature of love,

But the outsider, she is inside,
over much has cried, died and lied.
The weight of gravity holds down the fort,
and her as well; she doesn’t fight.

She holds the hope she’ll someday be tempted,
to leave that which protects her so,
to venture through the grimy view,
lifted by that which holds her low.

The outsider, she’s still inside,
Forever more, should she still hide,
You could say that she should have tried,
She wanted to, with all her pride
To leave that which keeps her inside.
To leave that which keeps her inside.
This morning on the train I saw a man who had lips like you. Slender and firm, lovingly powerful, perfectly matched for mine. A pang through the heart as he walked away - just like you.
 Mar 2015 Delusional Minds
moss
The smallest flakes of hope
That shine like little stars
Are floating from the heavens.
As they land on my pale skin
They begin to melt away
Back into their liquid form.
I am so cold, but so are they.
How can they melt on me?
It's odd how such fragile crystals
Can create such a deadly storm.
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