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When I lost her I thought
I had totally lost my radar
now I realize losing her
only made me stronger
Losing her gave me an opportunity
to strive and find a better version of me
to look in the mirror and find the flaws
upon which I drew beautiful lessons...
Losing her taught me how to build walls
when I notice am about to let wolves
into the sanctuary of my Heart
to have my world broken apart
and made me an astute judge at times
to endure the bitter cold of loneliness
than mess about kissing toads
Losing her created a great hole
of incompleteness in the center of
my Heart, and also made one thing clear
the One who would succeed in filling up
that gaping canyon would be worth
the better version I found while
trudging the boulevard of broken dreams
and surviving the waves and storms...
I thought I was totally lost when I lost her
but now I realize, I simply lost her to find me...
You never have to think less of yourself
'cause of what bad mind does
focus on chasing your dreams someday
you'll touch like Midas*
If you don't mind the loss
keep on the course
yet play deaf to words of the rest
and focus on running
focus on flying
focus on winning the race
Across a million faces
in a thousand different places
I find you in blossoms of flowers
like am a captive of your magical powers
I find you in the depth of my heart
even if we are completely worlds apart
in cold days mocked by soothing patters of rain
pattering right above the echo of my pain
I see you here with my eyes shut
in the emptiness, as my mind is dead alert

I hear your voice in whispers of the wind
maybe you're invisible to me since love's blind
you might be right here as well, trapped to this moment
on the same wave at war in the torrent of torment
bearing painful blisters of regret from burns of desire
enduring stifling emotions that won't retire
reeking of an excellently brewed obsession  that won't expire
and since you were my breath I can hardly respire
even the hardest of scotch and wines couldn't lift me higher
out of the abyssal deep doldrums of this mire


I smell your scent of roses at night beneath my sheets
and as I walk feeling isolated along these crowded streets
at every single thought about you my confused heart beats
while in my palm where your fingers fitted, cold emptiness slits
I see you in the hovering birds of prey as they bask in the sky
flamboyantly spreading their vast wings as they fly
under the sweltering haze of Sun where I burn for you
in recollection of your entrancingly licentious sigh


*everywhere I go, in different places
I see you masked upon a million faces
I feel you in the roseate blossom of flowers
in every second of every minute of my hours
for am still a captive of your enchanting powers
I have always been fascinated by the way women eat...how they savour every bite...take in all the flavours...be it a chocolate or a cake or an ice-cream or a flavoured yogurt...every spoonful/bite matters to them...i'm not saying that guys don't enjoy their food...but at times we eat like we've gotta a time limit...just somehow gulping it down like crazy!!! I must admit that i've inculcated this trait of women in my eating habit and i'm certainly enjoying it much more. I realize now that foodgasm isn't a myth!!!
As i'm nearing the end...I can't recall having done much good during my time here on earth, save for one thing....having loved you sincerely, whole-heartedly...at times selfishly....i could never express my feelings to you....for i was scared of the outcome...but deep in my soul....in that place where darkness and light meet...i have your image secured like a permanent tattoo...like a beautiful scar...like an everlasting thought...an immortal memory...a dangerous desire..an unfulfilled dream...often on those cold lonely nights i visit that forbidden place and just watch you...sometimes sleeping, sometimes smiling, sometimes bathing in the serenity of my troubled soul, sometimes looking at me with those compassionate eyes...sometimes you talk to me...often we tend to have these deep and meaningful conversations...i want to thank you for being a part of me...your words and ideas have constantly inspired me and i hope they continue to do so.
Red seems to be the colour of the day...while some look forward to this day..some dread it...the absence of a special one in your life hurts not 'coz you miss the physical part..it's because you can't share your moments of joy and despair, your dreams, desires, hopes and fears with anyone...sure if you're lucky you'll have some good friends and great parents...but neither your friends nor your parents can make up for the lack of love in your life...love is possibly the most beautiful emotion that there is..the best drug for the soul and yet at times it can be so harsh and inaccessible.
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