You're older now, soldier.
Your wars aren't the same.

Dust and the blinds they collect,
days that feel red, almost enviable
in their passion.

Shaky hands again, dry mouth
again, sirens singing low in
the black water day after day.

Death should mean something.
Encore for the epitaph!

It isn't real, but it is. It's replaying
in your head. It isn't real, but

it happened.

It woos you ... gets closer
and cuddles
It is attractive...

Makes you calm ...ends stress
and the tale of woe discontinues
It is soothing...

It is eternal... remains forever
the only certain thing in your life
Death...
It is natural...

I have clung to every word and story they have given me
Feeling the way they soak so far through my skin
It seeps and sits in my heart.

Sadly, you can not hold me like I have held you.

I am a cactus sitting alone in the dry desert night.

Where is now the sound
Tired of want for scream of noise
When Silence
cools the wind
Yet void of  earth
unbound usurp
With weather of its whim
A thing of Air
Does saturate
For want
of cricket chirp
Yet To dawn
They bid farewell
With shine not to elate

you kiss me
you tell me you love me
but it is nothing but a lie
nothing but false words
escaping from your lungs
as you tell me things i want to hear
it was nothing but an illusion
our relationship was just a fabricated perfection
a dark figure hid in the shadows
disrupting the “perfection”
with wrenching doubt and confusion and intrusive thoughts
i thought that was the lie
but apparently, i was wrong
apparently, you were the lie
you always were
right from the start
i just couldn't see it

It weeps ritual.

A spiritual walk
on the spikes. Heartache
to meet life daily.

Shadows beat
on the floor. You wanted
to catch the sun
in water filled vessel.

No silver king,
no coins.
You would never worship
the riches.

Forest of protests
grows. Journey steeps
in pain.

You come close to edge,
fall, rise, stand *****
to face the dark.

Carve the cement
with your brittle nails

home is the indents
in your skin,
and the creases
around your eyes
It's the curvature
of your skull
and the veins
in your feet

You keep searching
for a heartbeat
in the crowd,
hoping you'll some day
call it home

But dear,
I remind you
of what I often
have to
remind myself


Home is where your heart is

You light me up like the stars light up the sky.
Without my stars, I am a void.
A void that can not be filled.

You took away my stars,
The void has opened.
So dark,
So cold,
So lonely.

Lost in a void with no stars.