suddenly aware of an ascending sense of depression mostly unaware of my instinctive feelings and aggression. my mind is running laps around the empty hole inside my chest and i am just exhausted, my energy is constantly suppressed. uncomfortably trapped inside my bed, just trying to arise an aching sense of actuality, my brain can fantasize. the throbbing pain of all my joints conjoin my body to my mind regretting all of the troubled thoughts i thought i left behind. proactively trying to occupy less space staring in the mirror not recognizing my own face. it's safe to say i'm lonely here, drowning in grey but who is kidding, if you were here i'd probably just push you away.