the pain isn't hard to bare.
until you forget that it resides in the very back part of your brain,
waiting to be released at the perfect moment.

the slightest touch of a male,
a kiss on the cheek, neck, thigh.
the kiss of uncertainty and disloyalty.

the memories begin to fill you up inside.
your lover doesn't know what he's done.
you slip away from him faster than the air slipped from your lungs the first time.

pulsating through your veins,
is the feeling of deep fear.
what if he comes back?
what if he wants more of you?

oh, dear god he's thinking of all the ways to torture you.
look at his eyes. his mouth and the way it curves into a malicious smile.
the vigorous breathing, representing the oxygen he's stolen from you.

the tears are rolling now.
right down your right cheek where he caressed your beauty the first time.
right where you never wanted to be touched again.

it's only ever hard to bare,
when the perfect moment arises.

Take my heart and hold it in your hands
look inside, I need you to understand

Look beyond the scars, the pain that won't heal
I want you to search deep inside, for all the love i feel

Don't push away my damaged heart, hold it in your hand
It only beats for you, I need you to understand

look passed my fears  and insecurities, Don't let these things define me
My loving heart cries for yours, I am so lonely

let me hold your distant heart, I want to make it better
Place it next to mine and let them beat together

The beryl high land smoulders….

Where skinny manes of cloven trailing, cuff
the rake of jumbled scree,
a porous crux of timbered carol
matins from the mossy shrine
to urchin on the bluff and draft
in nooks of birch and bilberry.

On that high dais, Corvid tribals
potter on the reeks of gale.
Fell boatman of the troubled storeys
quarter in some sleet cabal
to throw their onyx gauntlet down
a slating arc of fallow sky.

A for apple B for ball
You're cute baby beautifully small
C for cat D for doll
You baby is the sweetest of all
E for egg F for fish
Baby you're my fulfilled wish
G for goose H for hen
I look at you baby forget all pain
I for ink J for jar
You're baby my brightest star
K for kite L for leaf
Baby you're my strongest belief
M for milk N for nose
You're baby more fragrant than rose
O for owl P for pea
Baby your smile makes me happy
Q for queen R for rain
You're baby my richest gain
S for sun T for toy
Baby you're precious be girl or boy
U for umbrella V for van
Loving you baby is all I can
W for wool X for xylophone
With you baby I feel never alone
Y for yak Z for zoo
Rule my heart baby only you

Light flashes across
the night sky. Even the moon
hides behind the clouds.

it's really something
how quickly things can change
how one poem ago
you were back
in my bed
in my heart
how one poem ago
you accidentally called me honey
in the middle
of a flirtatious conversation
and every time after that
was on purpose
if you ask me
there are no such thing
as accidents
I would tell you there is no
such thing
as coincidence
that you are only setting yourself
up
for failure
by choosing to believe
in miracles
if you asked me
I would tell you
a long time ago
many
many poems ago
I believed in love
at first sight
and
soul mates
and fate
but the truth is
these beliefs are built
on a quicksand foundation
of lust
and naivety
and sheer
stupidity
love
is the hardest part
of living
the deadliest war
to sign up for
your heart
is not a soldier
you
are not
a battleground
this love
is guerrilla warfare
that wink
this grin
those hands on my hips
these lips
on my neck
your breath
in my ear
my name
on your tongue
this
is
war
one poem ago
we were asleep
like lazy lovers
on a sunday afternoon
one poem ago
the sound of you
moaning my name
has seared itself
back into
my brain
one poem ago
I love you so
much that I say
I will never
let you go
and this morning
you are severing
your own arms
just to escape from
my grasp