Waves torment the sand,

pulling back, always running

empty shore, naked

A story leaked,
From my open wounds,
And the years escaped,
The cage of my mind,
Poetries screamed my anguish,
And songs revealed,
Too much to stand through.
With welts etched in my legs,
I trudged, stumbling,
Along the thousand avenues,
Finding your arms.
Winds flapped through,
My tattered clothes,
And stars cracked,
And dispersed and crashed.
I kept falling until,
I drowned in oceans,
of your blurred memories.
They filled my lungs
And made me choke.
They pierced my veins
And broke my bones.
I let my breaths flee,
and I fell and fell,
deeper into deepest agony.
It's the end, love,
it's the end.
This is how we end.

I bend over backwards to try and make you feel better every single time you’re hurting and drop everything when I see your name light up my phone. I write you pages of advise and positive words, whatever you need, just to help.. to make you feel better.. and all you bother to respond with is a single ******* word.
I’m seduced by the thought that one day it will help, that one day I will “fix” you. Because maybe then.. just maybe.. you’ll be able to love me back… and it will all be worth it.
But I’m done. I am so ******* done waiting for that day. This has already gone on for way too long. You are driving me insane and you don’t even care. You give me nothing, I mean NOTHING, and I give you EVERYTHING. It’s not healthy, it’s not a relationship, hell it’s probably not even friendship. But still I do it. Still I give all of myself to you.. and every single time I hurt myself by ignoring your obvious ungratefulness.
So this is it. I’m leaving “whatever this is”. I’m leaving you. And I know it’s gonna be hard, because you’ll only be a text away.. but I have to do this. I have to stop hanging on to you and give myself a chance to find someone who will give me what I need. A person who will be just as crazy about me as I’m about them and will support me just as much as I support them. I need someone who appreciates me for me, and we both know that person isn’t you.

I perspire with
a pulsing hope
That love will prevail.
A winding path leads me to a
house of ruin.
Only leaving me
with the discovery
that love;
like beauty,
Is in the eye of the beholder.
Through broken glass
I find myself falling
Deeper in love
With desolation.
Because without darkness,
light holds no value.

4/4/16

What happens then,
When we finally reach that bridge
The unsteady footpath of decision 
That only one of us can cross
When our hands part
And you walk the shaky steps of commitment and truth
With a single glance backward 
Avoiding my eyes 
As I watch you walk away
Only a few steps apart
But with a lifetime of history and emotion stretching it's cavernous yawn beneath us

Do I forget you?
As you stride out, leaving of the mists of my adoration 
Should I cleanse my mind of love
Crush the butterflies that sit in my stomach
Awaiting your every word 
Do I scratch out your face from the photographs of my mind?
Remake memories 
Reforge falsified passion
Ignore the beauty in the delicate brush of wind against a sheltered forest,
The bittersweet sting of cold rain against warm skin
The rush of blood to my cheeks at a black and white image I know only you could love.
Do I embrace my senses
Turn my back
Allow us to be separate entities in a world where we were supposed to be whole

Or do I follow the solitary wake of my heart
Cross legged, silent
Patiently waiting at that edge for the moment you may return 
For the moment you realise
Life cannot go on without us
And you turn back 
To leap the chasm that keeps us apart
Wait for the flames of your outstretched arms to reignite the fire in my broken heart
For us to connect
In the unending circle of emotion and connection 
That makes us whole within ourselves 
That feeds us
Free to blossom into the multitude of colour our wistful lives have always promised 

Can I wait in vain
And let my heart forever overthrow the sensibility of the mind
Expose myself to the elements of rejection and sorrow 
For the promise of something perfect
Sublime and intangible
Can I forsake the solid ground of reality?

I already know how this will end 
When we reach that path.
My body can let you go
But my heart will never forget

Catch me when I'll fall
with the sun rays,
crossing clouds and
bursting into bright
rainbow colours,
Catch me when I'll paint
the fading sky orange,
dancing the monotony away,
I'll come to you, every day,
From dawn to dusk,
Feel my familiar touch,
Around you, don't miss me,
For when the day will fall and
I'll be gone, just look above
And you'll find me there,
Twinkling bright among the stars,
With my promise, with my truest promise,
That I'll meet you again, tomorrow,
Shining into your beautiful arms

Slither within my spine
Wither, within my mind

Doctor Jekyll, Mr. Hyde
One coin, two sides