I want a cigarette
I'm panicking again
I love you I do
I promise you
I forgot how to put it into words
I want another cigarette
But I fear for my lungs
So I blow out rings
That'll never fit me
I let the filter sit in the spaces
Saturn will never reach
I love you I do
I promise you
Remember when I drank it slow
You cried but wouldn't let me listen
You cried wolf but I couldn't bring the guns in
You were eaten alive
And even I forgot if we truly tried
I remember the night
Every night
I haven't slept since May
I stay awake dreaming of the vices at bay
It's colder draped in roses
A robe fastened with snakes
It's colder underneath linens
Cotton, worn and dried
I want another cigarette
I want to remember being young
Death is the only true pleasure
Knowing life has won
Won a game, won me over,
Finding every single one
I kiss my friends and lovers the same way
But darkness finds his niche
In the light of day
I'll call you when it's over
A promise I made when we met
Not too soon, I promise again
And I mean every single spark
I love you
I do
I've never lied in spite of you
What does it mean
Please please tell me
I'm afraid of smoking another one

I'm a summer day
Sweltering on the edge of May
Oh, I wish I didn't throw my fists
In spite
Of all your songs
They flow so effortlessly through
Something like a laundromat at midnight
Have you ever heard a humdrum sound so
Pure?
Like the waves or the wind or the trees
I've never heard you sing so true
And you've never even heard me sing a tune

sorry I lied when I said all I want to do is sleep

I haven’t slept in weeks

That’s a lie too of course

I put in an hour or two inbetween

Lying on the floor or in the tub

I hate the cold

But I didn’t used to

And that isn’t romantic

But things do change

Like the way the stars align and how I perceive death

And how I haven’t met my match

The late night is a song with synths

And the moon sings dream pop songs

About love and rest and the gaping holes planted in the sea

What does that even mean?

When it’s 3am you’re in tune with everything

Having no one to love
Makes the heart so lonely
The loss of the pitter-patter
Heartbeat
And butterflies

The Cold War came
And wiped us off the map
Who would've thought
I'd die of a heart attack
When I had no heart at all?
Not really anyway
It was all mind over matter
And I dreamt of you

So what's it going to be?
Doors double locked
And knobby knees
Shaking like I used to
When I played you a song

I never called you by your name
It was never my tongue's to hold
But it was inside this empty heart
This busted bag of bones

I write sad songs
About missing your hands in mine
And your breath on my neck
But I've never known it
I've known no one at all

And everyday I'm a butterfly
Busting from a cocoon
And by dawn those wings
They've fallen from me
And I'm no one at all

I sat in my room alone
Longing, fawning
Over superheroes and singer-songwriter types
Cause I love what I hate the most
The little parts of me and what I'll never be

I wrote a letter to a friend, to a lover, to a foe
Licked the seal, kissed its flap,
And sent it on its way
One returned, hollowed through,
And there's two out there I'll never be

Fighter jets fly
Shoot me down cold
It was winter in my chest
With fire in my throat
Running on *******
I never thought you'd catch me
So open, so bold
No, no
They're out of control
Crashing, spiraling
Twisting down
And all they say,
"You should've known"

Pick up the phone
I've heard that dial tone
Over and over
Ringing in my skull
Like your wedding ring
Clinking down the drain
Where were we?
Yes, listen to me
I am so lonely that my bones are aching
There's this weight inside my chest
Yet I'm so hallowed out
This is all I've felt
In months
Do you care?
Where are you now?
I'll tell you all about this
When we meet
In the back of a car
On the side of the street
Waiting to cross
Don't turn and go the other way
Please
I need you know
Where are you now?
The puzzle piece left
Yet I still can't put it down