When you walk in
they look at me,
but you don't.
You don't see
me anymore,
too lost in her
eyes to find mine.
I see you, though,
almost immediately,
and my head begins
to spin until the room
is nothing but a blur,
until all that makes
sense is the one truth:
I'm not over you.
Surely I must be,
it's been months
but seeing you there,
hearing your laugh
as you greet others,
it all comes rushing
back and I don't know
what to do; all I know
is that I'm not over
you, us, I never
really was.
Her hand slides
down your arm and
makes a home within
your own palm, and
suddenly my own
hand twitches, a chill
runs down my spine,
for that hand she's
holding used to be
mine.
Suddenly my face
flushes and it becomes
difficult to breathe, as if
reality had slapped my
cheek with it's cruelty,
as if it had been planning
to rub the sight of you
two together in my face.
When you walk in
they look at me,
but you don't.
You haven't looked
at me in months, and
I can only vaguely
remember how it felt
when you did, like I
was soaring through
baby blue skies on
a bed of clouds.
I was so lost in the
magic, so in love with
the idea of forever, I
guess that I didn't see
what was the apparent
downfall, that you and
everyone else did, of
what we used to call
us.
Now she's entwining her
fingers with yours, her head
resting on your shoulder
when she gets tired of
holding it up in conversation,
but mostly, now she's the one
who gets to call you
hers.
She gets to hold you in the
middle of the night when
you bring her to the kitchen
to grab a midnight snack;
she gets to laugh wildly
as the two of you attempt to
slow dance to classic rock
early in the morning, just
as you've woken up; she
gets to hold your hand
during take off when
she's too scared to feel
alone; and she gets to tell
you she loves you, whenever
she feels like it... whenever the
moment strikes and she can
no longer keep those three
words contained.
I, on the other hand,
get to stand on the
other side of the room
making senseless small
talk while I watch the two
of you fall further in love,
and I get to watch her feel
the way I used to when I
was yours.
When you walk in
they look at me,
but you don't.
You don't see me
anymore, but I see
you, and I still see
us.
Copyright 08-8-2014 Elizabeth Lawrence ©