I cry because I needed to be
to release something in me.
Every tear brings moist to my dried lands.
For I, a mere man
seems so damage, yet so normal
or perhaps just fragile, easily breakable
and sometimes emotionally unstable.

You laugh because it’s fun,
Looking on a dreaded face
saying such a waste
then disregarded for my bitter taste.

I smiled an emptied smile
I laughed a pretend laugh
That’s my response to your jokes
As if it didn’t hurt
For I don’t want to upset you with my unpleasant retort

In time I learned to tolerate the vicious screams of my thoughts
Then mold them into candles
Hold them near, embracing it as part of my soul
And burn each shameful experienced into smokes
Now wrap with melted wax
Relax in this shell I created
a prisoner of my own doing
It’s ok, I am fine
I am strong enough to accept
enough will to intercept
the flooding negativity
with my passive cry for unity
and through my spacious heart,

the pain is bearable.


*© Pax

I buried the star so far as I assumed  it’s dead
My heart turns into shadows of dread
My mind is eating stale bread
Putrid flesh, a cold mess
Depressed

Illusional thoughts perceptional disease it brought
Nothing but endless drought

A part of me has died and the other is alive
The dead and the living
survive

I cried and I tried
the might I must master to hold-on tight
but I lost my grip and fall into a trip
deep within the hallows of my demons


*© Pax

I am stained
I am in pain

The look in her eyes
The sound of her voice
The taste of her lips
The scent of her skin
The warmth of her hug
  
Memories
Do not leave me
Breathless




© Pax

To think or just blink - something click, then link
a pink fluid runs in the sink, it stink of raw ink
I did a sharp clink
And I laugh like a lunatic
The stinging click makes my brain tic
Then someone wink, I panic
Horror runs in terror deep in my fatty exterior
my heart roars its pounding beat as I roam in fast feat
I struggle for self-control calling all my self-patrol
Holding my reality intact in which for now, I lack
Insanity pulls my multiple personality
Questionable mentality
Shake, shake rapidly
now I dance stupidly
all attention now is in me, then I ran horridly
someone pinned me, I scream endlessly
something pierce my skin
a sharp quick pain
a fluid sips through my veins
rushing, calming every stiff muscles, then once more I leap
then my heart stops its bouncing beat
my craziness slips into a silent sleep!



*© Pax

My day seems to be in a dark place
It’s like I’m separated and out of trace
Silence is my only answer to the choices I only ponder
My leaves has turn into weathery colors
Ashen gray
It keeps on falling as I keep on growing
My mind is at ease on the bed grass I see
Seems like it’s in tune with my fantasy
Like illusion has come out of my reality
There is beauty in solemnity
But in truth it’s lonely
when you're alone.

I dream of a time I make memories
Great with victories
but then I felt it was not worth it
for achievements are savor to someone you shared with

This place has come to its highs and lows
a moment I borrow in depths of sorrow
I reach out to tranquility
For my patience is my virtue in this painted creativity
Someday I will bear the fruit of my owning glory
Continuing the roots of my existence
Somewhere in time.


*© Pax