Your soul,that choice
how could you steal my voice
The trust I folded from the beat of my heart
in my mind's eye,we'd never part
We gave each other our word
it was rooted deeply,never to possess flight of a bird
Never would I think of the word betray
blinded was I to the secrets of your true way
The promise we made with our soul
it was true,honest,lovely,concreted with my whole

Now I leer and gaze at someone that might be honest and true
but I am overwhelmingly careful,never to be that fool
My heart taking so long to heal
so afraid to allow myself to feel
will I ever give out trust in my once childlike manner
flying now is distrust and doubt,color change this is my banner

Some days, I think I leave my mind in bed
After I wake up
I hope it's still in dream land
I spend the day lacking in the space between my ears
Nodding like a bobble head
A repeating record track of affirmative and compliments
The wall between you and my mind and my mouth
Is a porous prison wall
Sometimes if it yells loud enough
Something earnest, something honest, something heartfelt will make it through
If I smoke a little Mary Jane
Let it pass from my lungs through my teeth
My mind forgets it's fear and rejoins me
If I have too much, it becomes all too aware
Of the stark grim reality
I am 24
I have no prospects, or aspirations, but I have a college degree
I am impermanent
The same hands I look at now, I looked at when I was 3
And will look at when I'm fifty
And I do apologize
If you ever meet me
When I've left my mind behind
Please come back another day
Because I'd like to meet you too.

What is this feeling,
overwhelming, new, yet somehow
half remembered,
uncomfortable, ferocious,
and where even fear is not unknown?
Is it the same when I look deep inside you?
when I touch your hand?
when I know you want me to be there
(even though you do not speak or look at me)?
when you struggle for the words to tell me
what you want to say?

My heart races, I want to shout, laugh,
cry, hold you, be still with you.
I have known happiness,
but this goes much further.
Happiness belongs to the world;
like the things of the world it can fade.
Joy is of the spirit;
it exists of itself, intense, in the spirit,
yearning and fulfilment in one,
and it will not let me go.