I don't know
for how long
have I been
a melancholy song
it's been years
I've been with my fears
swimming in my tears
only to wet my pillow
every night
losing my light
giving up the fight
I hate myself
like a book on a shelf
that's read by none
because it's no fun
I am the weird one
I try to stop my cry
be a bit stronger
hold up a little longer
but I always fail
leaving behind a trail
of weakness and vices
of these unending compromises
I **** myself everyday
by keeping words
that I should say
by following rules
that none should lay
I suffocate
I choke
and all they think is that
this is another joke
I say I'm okay
but I'm not
I say I'm okay
but I'm caught
in the middle of this chaos
in end of another phase
but this time I don't see
a reason for me to chase
I feel *****
I feel guilty
I feel so much
yet nothing at all
no reason to rise
after this fall
no reason to rise
after this fall.

are you who
who am i
we're the same truth
bound by different lies

take my hand
and set me free
help me live
and let me be

My issues

aren't important

when I see the world around

falling apart on shaky ground

faith depleting

hope fleeting

people dying

breathless and out of breath

with no beds left for death

it's haunting me day and night

seeing the little light

dimming and dimming

darkness brimming

I feel useless and so out of hope

that I find difficult to cope

with my own issues

that seem nothing today

like a sad excuse

I've got nothing more to say.

i don't know
what's making me show
my screen glow
in this dark dark room
where all i have is gloom
i have everything
yet nothing at all
so many numbers
but none that i could call
too many blessing to count
yet so much self doubt
my dad's playing his good old songs
my mum's watching her series
yet here i've been sitting for so long
that my own head seems eerie
it's pouring out
the silence too loud
i miss a friend i had
his memories making me sad
there's none so bold
to ever fall for me
i've been told
i'm pretty
yet the irony
that none think i'm worth
i too curse my birth
i also miss my sister
her death gave my soul blisters
that still bleed and will never heal
i don't want to feel
just an adrenaline rush
a sext here; there a crush
nothing permanent
nothing to cement
just give me an hour i crave
i promise, after that i'll behave

Everday
on my bed
as I lay
with images in my head
of him in me, on me
my wrists tied, my heart free
heavy breathing
souls seething
so much passion
******* in every fashion
I let all these thoughts
guide me to places
where pleasure can be brought
with mere bites and traces
as I set a rhythm so profound
taking myself till I'm left astound
all I see is him, all I hear is him
and then as our hips stop
it's time for our lips to lock
only for me to open my eyes
and realize
all of this is nothing but lies
him, me and us
created by my mind
only for me to find
me all by myself and lonely
making me feel oh so guilty
filling me up with so much shame
this wildness I try to tame
in vain
in vain
because now I know that
my touch will get too much
over and over again
over and over again.

t h e  p r e t t i e s t

f a c e s

h i d e

t h e  u g l i e s t

t r a c e s