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If you are truly mine,
why do I once again feel so crest-fallen
why do you make me feel so low?

If you are truly mine,
why do i slowly feel you
slipping through the crevices
of the walls framing heart?

If you are truly mine,
why do I feel like your hideout?
Are my walls nugatory?
nothing but a shelter
with an enter and exit crevice?
are you that conceited
that you have to show off
about knowing me inside and out?

If you are truly mine,
why does this not feel like a straight line
with only 2 points?
why does it carry the idisyncrasies of a polygon?
YOU’RE SUPPOSE TO ******* BE MINE.
no one else’s…

- d.b.d.
With Ears to See & Eyes to Hear

"Lie! Lie! Liar! Liar you’ll pay for your sins."
How’d I allow it to happen?
How’d I allow myself to succumb?
Maybe they were chocolate covered
but I’m not really a chocolate lover;
but your voice could make me surmise anything;
like how they deceived my ears and heart
into believing what we had was real
and that what we had would last
and how they blinded me,
utilizing my cursed optimism .
I learned you can do the impossible;
you broke down all walls insulating my heart
promising sweets words dipped in honey;
little did I know,
honey does spoil.
"So tell me how does it feel;
how does it feel to be like you?
I think your mouth should be quiet
because it never tells the truth now.”

- d.b.d.
This was inspired by one of my favorite Sleeping With Sirens' songs, "With Ears to See & Eyes to Hear". The meaning of the title goes back to an old biblical saying about ears to hear and eyes to see and this simply conveys that things change ..."things change".
The footprints of past love haunt my present

I don’t have many fears but I fear never getting over her.

Is she the one for me?

Will I ever find another?

I pester myself until my brain burns out like a speeding race car that doesn’t stop at its repair station.

And speaking of race cars..

The thought of my past love gets my heart beating faster than any out there at top speed.

The thought of her makes me crash and burn and it’s ironic because i love her ..but i don’t need her..at least that’s what my brain makes me believe.

My heart on the other hand, yanks at every single cell in my body because that’s what I promised and that’s what I loved her with…EVERY SINGLE CELL IN MY BODY.

Those fortunate strokes of serendipity from when we first met turned into unfortunate jabs of discomfort to my heart when she left.

Who’s to blame? ..is it her? NO! NO!

IT’S ME IT’S ME I KNOW IT’S ME.

I got too comfortable.

I tried to fight the inevitable and invariably i lost the battle.

The only thing worst than losing the battle was losing myself along with her.

I gave her nothing but my all, I gave her me.

I promise you if you look deep within her past all the facades and walls she’s created, you’ll find little old me ..hammered and burnt to ashes in the wasteland of her memories and graveyard of hearts.

MY SUICIDAL SCARS ON MY ARMS ARE NOTHING IN COMPARISON TO THE SUICIDAL SCARS AND BRUISES ON MY HEART.

WHY DO I READ YOUR STUPID TUMBLR MESSAGES AND EMAIL MESSAGES OVER AND OVER?

ALL IT DOES IS REMIND ME OF THE DREAMS THAT I SHORT-SIGHTEDLY FELL VICTIM TO.

"No matter how many times I say I hate you or tell myself that, it’ll never be true. I’ll never leave and that should be clear, even if I say it 100times, unless I really do know you want me gone or you’ll truly be happy..”

Well I guess you said it 101 times because I begged you to stay and it’s obvious that right now, I am far from happy.

I would think by now I’d be smarter but I’m not..

I’d still fall victim to slumber if it means I get to dwell in those saccharine dreams of yours …even if it won’t ever come true.

It’s ironic that I’m complaining about you because in reality I’m the most detrimental thing to my emotional state.

Slowly dip me in the hottest and largest *** of acid you can find.

Remove all 206 bones in  my body one by one.

Skin me and gut me like a fish.

Use me as **** to collect another fish because obviously Deontra’ fish just wasn’t enough.

Obviously i don’t contain the nutrients you needed for nourishment.

I mean ..the nutrients she needs for nourishment.

I can barely keep the correct tenses because when you left, you left me tense.

No closure ….nothing but an open wound i had to stitch up and i hate biology so i highly doubt i stitched it correctly.

Open.

- d.b.d.
Before reading, please play this while reading, "Cold by Jorge Mendez".
This was my first piece of poetry and i wrote it to get over my first love because for almost 2 years ive been in love with her even after the break-up and i could not get any closure because she hated me.
their voices are stolen away
but even if they were to get it back,
their lips are welded
and shackled to their fears.

theistic idols
shaped predominantly
by the culture in which one is raised.

contradictory fallacies
leading society away from
self dependency.

im tired of being a minority!

apparently your god bestowed to me
this voice
this brain
this body
this mind
so...
im utilizing it.

i refuse to be oppressed any longer
i refuse to believe i was created
by some deity that claims
people have the free will to do as they please.
If god gave man free will,
how can everything be a part of god's plans?
If everything is a part of god's plans,
how can we have free will?

I refuse to be oppressed any longer.
I dug deep within my fears
and yanked my voice back.
I no longer fear being a minority,
I embrace it.

a society where minorities are scared to have a voice?
stand up,
find your voice,
and use it.
We are more than outcasts.
We are minorities
and together,
we can eradicate the title.

We're human.


- d.b.d.
Inclusion: the action or state of including
or being included within a group or structure

Solution: a means of solving a problem or
dealing with a difficult situation

Now, is *‘inclusion’ the ‘solution’
?

Is confiding not always in yourself,
but being able to confide in people you trust:
a group,
a team,
not an impeccably simple way to solve complications?

Some people that dwell in isolation
succumb to despondency and desolation
and invariably,
wrap themselves in a costume of facades.
Inclusion eradicates these issues.

We as humans
want answers to our questions,
resolutions to our complications;
a myriad of different perspectives
can quickly enlighten and open the eyes
of those who truly seek a solution.

Solution to what?
Solutions to those “impossible questions”,
Solutions to those “exasperating situations” we can’t seem to get out,
Solutions to those “family troubles”
"relationship troubles",
"work troubles",
most importantly,
those “social problems”.

Inclusion is no secret,
it’s the biggest weapon we as people have.
Inclusion gives all of its users the power
to control.
Inclusion is power,
the real wealth beneath our skins.
With inclusion,
we have the solution.

(d.b.d.)
the air was filled with scented candles,
giving the room a red glare
featuring the sweet aroma of her perfume and my shower gel;
we were surrounded by nothing but white walls and blood-like roses that were aesthetically spread on black satin sheets

a once silent atmosphere
quickly transitioned
into a room full of light moans and groans;

we stood in the midst of it all,
lip-locked and engulfed in each other's arms.
she slipped my shirt above my head
and i unzipped her fitted red dress,
watching it drop from her body, onto the ground
discovering nothing but  an alluring bare body underneath.
her upper frame was prepossessing
and it took me a while to regain my sense of awareness.
"this is mine, all mine."
i felt like her thoughts mimicked mine
since we both gave the same smirk at the exact time.

we ended up on the bed sheets,
scattering the roses in our wild venture.

light pecks
quickly turned into deep french kissing
featuring hip caressing
and as my ******* grew
her wetness seemed to become more immense.

light bites
turned into a twilight ****** season
and a trail of purple blooms
trickled from her neck
to between her *******
straight down to her navel.

foreplay was always essential
so i tantalizingly used my tongue
following the flowery trail.
somehow, i got sidetracked
and ended up caressing her left breast,
then the right
and my mouth and tongue seemed to
be enticed by the stiffness of her *******
as they pleasurably tortured them with flicks and twirls.

her moans became louder
but i was unsure if she was ready.
as my mouth and tongue continued their torture,
my hand took a trip to somewhere warm and wet;
i stared her deep in the eyes as my hand slowly explored her walls.
i watched every little moan,
but mid-moan
my lips found their way against hers
and my tongue found itself once again
dancing its sensual dance with hers.

i pitched a bit at the sound of my belt buckle dropping to the floor.
i was left vulnerable and my ******* sprung to life,
pulsing as her soft hands caressed it,
forcing me to succumb and lean back,
giving her the power to do as she pleased.

as i lied there with
my back on the sheet,
my head on the pillow,
and my eyes closed,
i felt her warmth hovering over me
and again, her hand tightly
but comfortably gripped around my *******.

she leaned over me,
whispering sweet serenades in my ear;
the warmth of her breath and the slight touch of her tongue
gave me goosebumps.
it was obvious she realized the effect she had on me
because she repeated it over and over,
ear to ear.
suddenly i felt her teeth sinking into my skin,
sending a mixture of painful
yet euphoric sensations
throughout my body.
she tantalized me with the same purple blooms
but she traveled past my navel
onto the head of my *******.

the twirling of her moist tongue
gave me the impression that i had died for a split second.
i was far from a submissive but i allowed her some play-time
as she continued her pleasurable torture of tongue swirls.

her time was up.

i parted her thick but soft hair and slipped between her soft lips
which she already had wet for my arrival.
with slow twirling hip movements,
i repeatedly made an entrance and exit between her lips,
sometimes greeted by the tantalizing feel of her tongue
sending me off the edge.

things got heated and she pushed herself back,
parting her thighs,
looking me in the eyes and biting her lips.
the view was one to make any grown man succumb.
i crawled over,
playfully nibbling at her toes
up to her inner thighs,
leaving yet more purple blooms;
with each one,
i witnessed an exorcism
as her eyes rolled back and her eyes became more lustful
and her body seemed to crave me more and more.

sweet sweet pink matter.

my tongue found itself trailing along the inner parts of her *****
then circling and flicking her **** tortuously.
i felt her feet and hands
wrapped around my neck
suffocating me in the sweetest taste and aroma
and as i struck my final flick,
i ****** up her ****,
sending her to her ******,
as she clung onto my head as her body
repeatedly ****** and became tense.

it was time.

i found myself against her ear,
"are you ready princess?"
she nodded and my lips locked with hers
while my hands made their way down to her *******.
my *******, now pulsing vigorously,
found itself between her legs,
with tip at her entrance;
she began to let out slight moans and screams but
my kisses served as a suppressor for that.
my tip and shaft both made it's full entrance and
not even my lips could deter her screams now.
"should i stop my love?"*
she nodded no and
i felt her hip movements starting to matching mine.
with each *******,
her grip became tighter and tighter.
i felt her grasping onto my ***,
bringing me in deeper and deeper.
i felt my ******* soon succumbing  to the
wetness and tightness of her grip
then she whispered she's ******
and i found myself lost between her legs
and lost in a world of euphoria and relief.

(d.b.d.)
I guess this is one of my many fantasies..at least one of my 'vanilla' fantasies ;)

— The End —