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Olga Valerevna Aug 2014
So what besides the voices can your talking undercut
you'll minimize reality until you self destruct
And you may try a thousand times to justify your words
But if they have no merit they'll forever go unheard

So I appeal to you, the people telling me to speak
I will not go in circles entertaining what you seek
And if I've been a puppet on a string I didn't make
I'll sever every limb and let myself completely break
sometimes you can say it all by saying nothing
Olga Valerevna Aug 2014
a fool of curiosity
      i never understood
          why medicating mentally
   was questioning the good
cannot explain it more than this        
                   except to also say
that who you are can walk with you        
      but also walk away
who you are wherever you are
Olga Valerevna Aug 2014
You're like a conversation that I carry in my head
I can't remember voices, I've forgotten what you said
But just because the words are gone, devoid of any breath
It doesn't mean I've let you go to die a little death

I wanted to make room for both our bodies to be near
They hold the very thoughts that I was certain I could hear
And just before I recognized the face that covered yours
I put a lock inside of me to keep away the ******

But I can see their shadows making shapes beneath my feet
They're pacing 'cross the floor all day and night, they never sleep
I know I told you everything, I hope that you did too
For now that we are separate, remind me *what to do
short term memory loss
Olga Valerevna Jul 2014
So how did I become the kind of person that I am
By changing every part of me I couldn't understand
I wonder what I'll find inside the skin that I suspend
Or maybe what I've lost is more apparent in the end
And where is all the evidence I carried on my back
The weight of it has turned it into something inexact
A haziness pervading what I once believed to be
The only inconsistency I wanted to perceive
Secure in all my shakiness but never unaware
That I was going down a road that wasn't even there
And maybe in my head I thought I'd save a place for you
Until I came to realize that's something I can't do
I cannot save anyone.
Olga Valerevna Jul 2014
What if all the matter you could ever hope to have
Turned you into something that was never meant to last
Who would then determine whether this could be reversed
Should you seek asylum from the kingdom of the cursed
When would be the moment you would need the help to come
Pick you up and pour you out and give you time to run
How could heavy feet even determine where to go
Buried in the kind of mud where nothing ever grows
I guess the only hope you have is underneath it all
Beyond another border where your feet are standing tall
Olga Valerevna Jul 2014
Drip drip drip*
(to) flip the switch
Lay you out
remember this

Flattened lines
without a spine
Backbone gone
you're out of time

What to do
I'm split in two
Halfway there
we aren't through

Needle's cold
so veins can hold
Nothing more
than what you sold

Took what's free
atoned the sea
Running red
with all of me
something else
Olga Valerevna Jul 2014
I've set aside a piece of time to keep until the end
And right before I am no more I'll push it through a pen
But if you don't believe a single word I've ever said
I cannot try to change your mind, I cannot raise the dead

It's not within my power to restore this flesh and bone
And I can only hope that when I leave I'm not alone
I want it to be simple but I want it to be true
The way of letting go of all the ones I ever knew

But in my final seconds as I breathe my very last
I realize my future's an extension of my past
It's just as I remember - nothing new and nothing good
The time that I had kept was only keeping what I could
what you let go of, what you hold on to
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