The black cloud will shroud
The multicoloured rainbows -
A hard rain is going to fall -
The honey bear won't wake
From her hibernation,
She will dream of placing
Her paws into golden beehives.

The swallows will migrate swiftly
To African shores of green and blue,
They won't be coming back soon.

Our black-cloud sky
Will be composed of ravens and crows,
Squawking tuneless nocturnes
Whilst pecking at our windowpane.

Where are our rainbows?
Where is our sunshine?
Where have our honey bears
And our swallows gone?


-Jamie F. Nugent

Hushed, like a morning before sunrise, 
grace floods in without threat.
A sudden flutter of piano keys cues
a story to unravel onto something
so much more interesting
than pages of paper.
To eerie tunes and haunting hums,
she brushes, feather-like, across my eyes—
a pinnacle of innocence
that humbles me to the warmest tears.
She does not speak but tells me everything.
So beautifully, with pointed toes
and arms as weightless as summer clouds,
my imagination falls to her tiny mercy.
The little girl in the light blue dress,
who became
my favorite storyteller.

You travelled everywhere and now you're back.

Like a child
Reckless.
Careless.
Wanting everything.
But this time you must sit.

I can't ground you
But I can guard you
Renew you
Train you
In the way you should go

And when fear comes
Or envy
Or worry
Or lust
You won't depart.
Not this time.
Stay mind stay

Having a reason all the time is boring
Like dancing only when there's music
Or crying out of sorrow
Or singing because you're happy
Boring.

Lie on the street
Look up and count the stars
Sit in the rain and laugh
Sing
Cry

Forget about the why
Don't have a reason

Maybe it's not always bad to feel empty.
Maybe it just means you've given your love away and poured your heart out.
Maybe we should all be empty, of all our dreams, our hopes, our wanting.
Maybe when we find our one thing to pour our all in
Then we'll be glad we can be empty.

Or at least begin to be.

i get this feeling a lot
and somehow i can't breathe
it's as if someone is wringing out my chest
preventing each breath to escape
it's exhausting
i get this feeling a lot
and suddenly my entire world is in a whirlpool
i am lost and i can't find my way around
i am dizzy and nauseous
i get this feeling a lot
and for some reason my breaths are getting shorter
my head is getting so heavy it feels as if i am carrying a boulder upon my shoulders
every single person i have ever met is yelling my name
they are yelling at me but i can't respond to them all at once
they are getting angry now
my stomach is turning each and every way just like a tornado
my hands have suddenly become an earthquake
my heart a landslide
and my mind a cyclone
i get this feeling a lot

they always told me about how i would cling onto your leg wherever you would go,
attached as if we were conjoined.
she always told me i got my dimples from you,
i get complimented on them a lot.
eleven years in the making
yet it somehow feels like it was just yesterday
reminiscing
i could never forget it
and of course 1992 pearl jam does not make the pain less wounding.
you would have known.
all the time.
i always imagine how things would be now
if history had been erased and re written.
it hurts all the time
i always get this stabbing sensation in my chest,
it's the memories.
it's the pain.
eleven years in the making,
and i wish i still could hear your voice.
the time could go backwards
the memories could rewind
but eleven years would still be eleven years
the other way around.