it is difficult
to live at the mercy of life
swinging mood to mood
craving some stability
to maybe make things alright.

a beautiful day
melting cotton candy sky
i wondered how i
ever wanted suicide
i am at peace with my life.

forged into her skin
are bruises branded bright blue
she wept from the pain
like blood seeping from a knife
when will it all be over

Since I have met you,
My heart has gotten so full.
Please, don't let it burst.

You are my sunshine---
My only sunshine.
But even my sunshine,
Can't take this darkness away.

It's embedded deep inside my brain,
And I never learned any other way.
It is impossible to love darkness away.
It finds a way to always stay.

Even if love cannot cure sickness,
Perhaps it might joy you to witness
The bright smile on my face;
The result of your sunshine's grace.

I am a walking corpse---
A living dead girl.
It feels good to rot.

When I look in the mirror,
I enjoy the hollow figure.
It feels good to rot.

Some people don't like it.
Often, they fight it.
But for me---
It feels good to rot.

I feel alive when I'm dying.
I promise I'm not lying.
It feels good to rot.

it runs in the family---
emptiness of the heart
that swallows you up
like black ooze from the depths sticking to your limbs.

it runs in the family---
emotional fragility
resembling a crying child
who never learned how to not get her way.

it runs in the family---
emotional volatility
extreme highs and lows
like a rollercoaster ride from hell.

i can't run from my family---
it'll always be here
deep inside
a curse by blood.