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Madeline Killeen Oct 2018
My boyfriend is exploring his identity
My boyfriend likes makeup
My boyfriend paints his nails
My boyfriend and I shop in the same section of old navy
My boyfriend and I  wear similar underwear
My boyfriend sometimes feels uncomfortable when people call him a man
My boyfriend isn't sure if he'd ever  feel comfortable dressed fully as a woman
My boyfriend isn't sure if boyfriend is the correct term
My boyfriend doesn't know what this all means
And neither do I
But he is my boyfriend,
Or girlfriend,
Or simply my person.
At the end of the day the two of us lie ***** in bed,
No makeup on, in the dark,
Nothing but warmth, passion and love
Gender is a facade the world puts on people to ease discomfort
But when you embrace the uncomfortable, magic happens
Madeline Killeen Oct 2018
I wish I could ***** my parents of their ignorance.
Like old paint, peel away the parts of them that see the world
in black and white.
I wish I could give them glasses to help them see that hiding who you are to protect yourself from cruelty,
is far worse than the ridicule.
Like two old houses, built in a world where people were shut away in closets, they refuse to remodel.
Stuck in their foundation. They preach acceptance, as long as it doesn't enter their walls.
That is a little too close to home.
And I know all they want is to keep me safe, as they always have.
Protect me from the world.
Life is already hard, why make it harder?
If the outdated appliances still work, why get new ones?
All I want is for them to buy a new door,
one that welcomes him in. Gives him a chance.
But how do you remodel person?
New paint?
Madeline Killeen Oct 2018
the universe
has gifted me
a patient soul
Madeline Killeen Oct 2018
is what I say when something is bothering me
and I am unsure what.
Funny
My chest tightens, constricts.
Funny
I can't stop thinking about how he might see all the things wrong with me and leave.
Funny
I feel like I might cry and never stop.
Funny

The definition of funny is causing amusement or laughter.
It can also be defined as being deceitful or strange.
I am not sure which applies here.
Madeline Killeen Oct 2018
is one of those colors that is so bright and happy,
yet there's an emptiness to it.
The kind of emptiness, only captured over time.
Time chips it away, as it does most things.
We are left with the hope of the past,
the faded walls or chipped nails of a color
that held so much in it, and lost it all
when we stopped looking.
Madeline Killeen Oct 2018
I fear I am losing him,
to himself.

He is seeing all the things he wants to be.
I wonder when he'll realize,

that version of himself,
might not want me.
Madeline Killeen Oct 2018
the best poems, are
the ones that feel like
a punch to the chest.

they leave you
stunned, for a moment.
blinking.
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