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My mind is droning endlessly
Of words beyond simplicity
Breaking through the earth a tree
Of beautiful leafless poetry
 Aug 2018 Natalie Pugmire
& i dont mean physically
you turned your mind off to me
you shut down & backed out
i was staring at the corpse
of the girl that once laughed
she could breathe life into the room
but now youre a walking tombstone
with the words
i rest in pieces
carved haphazardly into the front
now the only peace of mind i have
is that it wasnt me who killed you
it was your own heart
racing faster than a freight train
& when it beats out of your chest
maybe ill see the real you
soaked in blood
& charging for the exit
not unlike the last time we spoke
i swear you threw the door off its hinges
like you ripped our pages
out of the book
& used them to wrap your cigarettes
breathing in our words
like tobacco
feeding off our feelings
like nicotine
you smoked yourself into a stupor
& wiped your mind clean
of any thought of me

 Aug 2018 Natalie Pugmire
& we find ourselves
after everything
its as if i felt the sun shiver
as it met my skin
the dawn broke
just when our dusk
swallowed us whole
we sat silent
watching clouds burst
into violent oranges & purples
it was gorgeous
a fitting end to something
the sky looks awful after the sun sets
the lack of color
the lack of light
the lack of us
we exploded in light
it consumed us
we burned bright
& what was left behind
was something less
than the sum of our parts
not different but not the same

 Jan 2015 Natalie Pugmire
are you afraid of parking garages
do you think of empty parking spaces
with empty cars beside them
like your own compartmentalized mind
do the empty spaces scare you
like my own scare me
are you afraid of the dust
are you afraid of the ghosts
sitting where people once were
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid of the lonely silence
are you afraid of the concrete walls
that are more solid than anything
that you have ever created
are you afraid 
that you'll be just as cold
just as lifeless
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid of where they take you
are you afraid of the airports 
that you always end up in
missing those that never come back
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid that you'll park 
and that you'll never leave
are you afraid of parking garages
are you afraid of the flickering lights
and your own shadow 
bouncing in front you
are you afraid of going somewhere 
and never coming home
are you afraid of your home
and when they asked you where home is
did you stutter 
because you almost said someone's name
instead of a place
or is your home that parking garage
blank and grey 
empty and hollow
are you afraid of parking garages

 Jan 2015 Natalie Pugmire
 Jan 2015 Natalie Pugmire
since you've been gone
i've written a few poems 
& not a single one 
actually says what i want
because i want to say
i miss you
& i want to say
i need you
& i want to say
come back to me 
& you left the door wide open
i thought it was a sign 
i thought it was some poetic way
of saying you'd walk back in
but now i realize 
you just didn't care enough to shut it
& now i feel a draft
a small cold wind 
"get up & change some things
she left you for a reason"

& now i come to find 
that there were never enough ampersands
to keep you & i together

You are amazing.

After what seemed like a lifetime of fervently searching through endless, abyssal, darkness, I have found a stunning array of the most spectacularly luminous qualities, in you. It may be hopelessly cliché, but you are the light at the end of the tunnel.

It is breathtakingly difficult to describe quite how fantastic you are. You are elusive, like a single, pure, white Trillium in a forest of ivy. Your beauty is beyond both simile and metaphor; to your form, there is no comparison. If it is possible for a person to be flawless, then I am sure that you are.

Every word you say captivates my undivided attention, and leaves me hoping for more. I am enraptured by every move your body makes. When you sing, I feel my pulse quicken, and I could listen for hours. When you dance, my eyes follow every action with genuine appreciation for your graceful motion.

No matter what I am doing, I catch myself thinking about you throughout the day, wishing I was next to you. You are everything I want, and more than I could ever ask for. You aren't afraid to laugh like a fool, or cry like a child, or scream at the top of your lungs, or smile like you've never felt pain.

Everything about you makes me crazy over you, and, sometimes, it's easy to question whether someone as incredible as you can even be real...
 Dec 2014 Natalie Pugmire
Sass V
In the warm, dark morning
I wake up before you
Opening my eyes to your empty walls
Nearly forgetting your body breathing next to mine

I turn to watch you sleep
Warming your bare back with my gaze
Eyes like planes crossing an ocean of cold sheets between us
A chasm of desires met by deflections

I will you to dream of me
So you might wake up and say last night's words
With the still mind and even tongue of a Sunday
Let me know I'm not the only one losing this game

In my mind I shake you awake
Show you the urgency I feel to touch you
Because I already miss you in the future
Minutes slipping like your big shirt down my sad shoulders

In this tired, familiar bed
I stop waiting for you, shut my eyes again
And think how I could love you later
If you'd let me

If you could resist that warmth that reaches across states for you
From golden lights and people meant to absorb you,
And return to cold bones that I guess were always meant
To break under the weight of your exit
 Nov 2014 Natalie Pugmire
i learned a long time ago
that too much pressure
on the strings of the violin
would ruin the melody
but with too little pressure
the music you create
is inaudible
so which is it?
did we come to a shrieking halt?
or could you never hear us at all?

 Nov 2014 Natalie Pugmire
if hourglass bodies
have taught me anything
it's that beauty
has a time limit
and it would seem
that you and i
were caught begging aphrodite
for just a few more grains of sand

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