you asked me to think back to life before he swept me off my feet
do you really wanna know what that was like?
cause i remember it all too clearly and it was
so
empty

school days spent looking out the window
i could'nt wait to get out
i was waiting
waiting for you
nights.
online, always online.
experiencing all the cheap thrills of little windows
to empty souls
eyes watching and looking for lust
the same way i was looking for love
waiting
waiting for you.
boys
maybe i could find what i was looking for in this new
new playground
tools
i was wrong.
i kept waiting
waiting for you.
Then he came along and showed me different.
He never mistreated, never judged, never expected, his love never budged, never used, never abused, appreciated, and always waited
on me
and i never had to wait for him
and i trust him

so why am i still waiting
******* waiting on my knees
for *you

Lately I've been going in strange directions,
I've been going about this all wrong,
And I don't think there was a right way either, but maybe something better.
There's always something better.
I've been counting out all the options and the faults and their placements,
I've been looking in store windows and staring at all the faces I see when I walk down the city streets at night,
I'm just trying to find a way to make this right
How do I make it right?
How do I make it right?
And these nightmares eat my brain when I sleep,
I'm paranoid someone is watching me,
And they know I've been trying to make this right,
When there is no right,
Time to give up the fight?

today
im finding every explanation inadequate
every consolation lacking
every kind word not nearly kind enough
every song irrelevant
and this whole "life" thing
just so **** pointless