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Opportunities
   Lost and Found

Circumstances
    Abound

Turn me Bitter
    or make me Better.

The choice is mine
    My life define.

I choose Life
    Not Death.

I choose Giving
    Not Taking

I choose Love
    Not Hate

I choose His way
    Not mine.


The choice is Mine
The choice is Mine.
(c) 09-26-2010
Eight years ago...
I choose
I cut my tongue
to bleed out the words
you've been dying to hear
but even in these final moments
of curt existence
you're still not satisfied
And that's a pain worse than death.
i sit on the bus alone on the way to school
i have people i talk to
but the same thing always happens
i'm left standing on the sidelines
watching, listening
no one speaks to me
no one sees me
i don't even want to be there anyway
i'm fine
i just haven't found where i belong yet
i'm lost
i sit in my classes alone
i speak to no one
all my friends have someone better
and i'm left alone
i ask to work by myself on group projects
because my anxiety won't let me talk to new people
i feel like i'll always say the wrong thing
and most of the time, i do
i sit alone at lunch most of the time
sometimes outside in the cold
sometimes in the hallways
people walk past
but they never say anything
i promised myself to stop making new friends
i started talking to someone
and a week later i hurt them
just by being me
just by existing
so yeah
i'm lonely
and you can't fix me
.
Stars shine behind clouds
peeking through on occasions
the sky's hide and seek.



© Pagan Paul (10/10/18)
.
Another kiss,
sent where the rivers of our souls aether meet
underneath a starfall refracting crystalline rainbows
winding through the cosmos playing hide and seek
riding on asteroid belts,
dancing under the rain of shooting starss
...
remembering the feel of your touch
the night seems less lonely by much
even now when we are lifetimes apart
my day ends and sweet memories start
a shady breath of wind from above
on a hot stagnant journey
you are my shadow love
...
a sweet warmth,
glowing on dark cold winter‘s mourn  
a bright smile,
over a miserable sky
a shower of energy and sparks
on a nondescript day
my sane little hidey-hole in this crazy place
how I yearn for that time again
somewhere lost
in the deep shadows
of our space


everywhere I go
your shadow love
whispers
Just because I remembered
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