Somehow hope still lingers through my soul.
Time has broken me in ways that i sometimes wonder how I'm still standing?
But that little hope that keeps me sane ironically has a first and last name.
Aint it pathetic how my sanity depends on the person who unintentionally keeps breaking me? Aint it pathetic how he is having the happiest days while im here patiently waiting for his comeback although i deep down know that day is not anywhere near this present. Pathetic little me right?

i hate how often my brain and heart are in a constant battle over that old love i deep down know i would never be capable of forgetting .
my heart keeps telling me i have to try again when in the other side my brain knows its a catastrophic idea and it would hurt more than not trying.
But my heart only tells me what my consieuse wants and my brain tells me whats best for my mental stability.
i really have no idea who am i suppose to listen

I will light up a cigarette and smoke your memory.
As I inhale I will savor your minty flavor for the very last time then,
i'll exhale all the love I feel towards you.
I will throw you out like you did with me in that April night.

i am both beauty and destruction,
I know how to love but not how to be loved.
i've felt pain in all its forms and yet
i still try my best to put on
a fake smile.
CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?

loneliness, anguish and fear,
is all you made her feel.
all she wanted was to feel loved,
to feel loved by you....