Things that have been mutually frequented -
CDs, mugs, kisses,
(memories) -
are but fragile leaves
waiting to be blown away
on the winds of time;
until one day
inchoate tears
will find us there,
on the kitchen floor at 2 am,
saying wordlessly:
"I wish I'd never met him.
I wish I'd never met him."

I'm a MAN.

A rugby-playing,
Football-loving,
Pie-eating
MAN.

A nerdy t-shirt wearing,
Glasses bearing,
Bad-teeth faring
MAN.

A sad,
Lonely,
Little
MAN.

A nice-dressing,
Debonair-looking,
Smooth-talking
MAN.

A rose-giving,
Hotel-whisking,
Loving and kissing
MAN.

A drunk,
A lush,
An alcy
MAN.

A person with
Thoughts
Feelings
Pain
Sentiment
I like stuff
I hide my feelings
I **** up

I cry.

A Public Service Announcement

1. You move to the country.
2. You're very skittish.
3. You're terribly embarrassed when someone mentions their name.
4. "Oh no, we're just friends."
5. Well... You just know.

A True and Historical Account
Oh, oh, oh,
Don't stop don't stop
Oh!

For Your Health
Never become attached to anyone and stay far, far away.
Then you will never need to know.

An Interview*
"How did you know, Madam?"
"I didn't, he just...proposed!"

He just...fits.

Je me suis sentie comme
Cendrillon.
Because we met at a ball
And I had on my best dress
And you were in, oh God,
A kilt!
Perfect man, yes?

Bumping into you at the cinema
You didn't recognise me
But when the film started
(Which film? I was too aware of you)
You tapped me on the shoulder
And whispered,
"Finally!*"

So I asked you on a date.
No, not a date.
Shush.
Coffee. Let's go for coffee
And be friends.
(****.)
Four hours later...

And then
There was that time
We stayed up
Until 6am
Because neither of us
Wanted to say night.

(Last night.)

And this is a love story
Starting again
And it's perfect in ever way
All I've ever wanted
Look - poem perfect -
But I don't know
If I can handle it
Again.

I was drunk,
And I told you I love you.
When I was sober,
You asked if I meant it.

I said no.

Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed.

You will never be lovelier than you are now,
Here, in my arms,
Asleep.

I watch your eyelids flutter.
I hope that you are dreaming
Of us

In a different world,
Where we could be happy.
Together.

And I hold you,
Abhorring the knowledge that
tomorrow

We will never be this way again.

I don't want to be with him
But I do
And all I can think
When I'm with him is
How much better he would be
If he were you.

You and I walk a fragile line
That I never thought I'd live to see break.
I should have known it would all this time.

I'm standing here and I can see it in your eyes:
All the love I should have known was fake
And every last one of your lies.

You said, "I am yours and you are mine."
"I'll never leave you alone," was just another promise you made.
I should have known that all this time.

I spent my life thinking we were fine
When I should have known you were just take, take, take.
I never realised all those lies.

You know how the time flies.
I wonder, "Were we just a mistake?"
I should have known all this time.

Can you believe it was just yesterday we had the time of our lives?
Who would have known how bittersweet this would be?
Did you ever see that fragile line?
The one we treaded all that time.

Oh, no, baby,
You're burning up
And speaking in lyrics again.
Darling, just kiss me,
I can make everything alright;
For a little while at least.
I miss you, baby,
Tell me what you need
And I won't hesitate.
Would you risk it all for me?
Any day, baby, any day.

I just want to curl up and cry curl up and die
Everything hurts and I want it all to end
Not fair not fair not fair
What’s wrong
Don’t know don’t ask
Like you care
Don’t pretend
Don’t text don’t call don’t talk
Breathe in and out
Breathe too fast
Can’t breathe
Can’t stop
Tears fall
Don’t know don’t ask
Help me help me help me
But no help comes.

We go together like
Digestives dipped in tea.
Your girlfriend and a hike.
A sting and a bee.

I love you like
Dogs love chasing postmen.
Halfords love a bike.
Teachers love red pen.

I need you like
Meerkats need you to go to a different website.
Aunt Josephine needed Ike.
Ghosts need to fright.

In summary, then,
We go together like
I love you like
I need you like

Really poor metaphors.
A reference to popular culture.
An ironic rhyme scheme and rhythm that vanishes towards the end.
Don’t you love a flirt, darling?

Is it so wrong
To wonder why you?
To wonder why you had to
Appear in my life
At that moment
In that place
At that stage in my life.

When everything was going wrong
And I was somewhere I didn’t want to be
With people I didn’t know
And you decided to be there for me.

Is it so wrong
To wish it hadn’t been you?
To wish someone else
Had turned up
And whisked me away
And made me feel special
In a way that you never have.

To compliment me properly,
Saying how beautiful I look in that dress
Not an awkward comment on my hair,
Not a ‘there’s nothing wrong with you.’

Is it so wrong
To dream
That we
Never
Ever
Even
Met?

You never gave me a choice
When it came to who I fell for.
Of course it would be you,
You sad piece of beauty.
You, who I could spend time with
Always, for the rest of my life.
I've got a picture of you in my mind
And I hope it never fades;
One of you in all your imperfection,
Because, darling, I do see your flaws too.
I’m not blinded by you.
You’re not dazzling in any way, but
I hope I never lose that feeling I get
When you text me first.
And the thing is,
I’ve always thought that all love does
Is end

But with you
It’s never going to start.
You’re already in love with someone else,
So we can’t even fall apart.
I can’t even hurt properly.
I can’t even hate you,
I can’t even come away with a
Cute story
To tell my daughter.

I think I love you the most
When you are drunk
And a little sad
And hurting.

I think I love you the most
When you giggle more
And tease me slightly
To show but hide that you're not okay.

I think I love you the most
When you're wearing that adorable
Big grin
That just makes me want to kiss you.

I think I love you the most
When you don't,
Not even sarcastically,
Order me to leave.

I think I love you the most
When you don't bully me
Or glare at me
Or tell me to shut up.

I think I love you the most
When you're just sweet you
And you tell me things
And stories about everything.

I think I love you the most
When you're angry at yourself
Because you mean the things you say.
Wonderful.

I think I love you the most
When you're slightly drunk
And instead of letting me leave
You pull me down next to you.

I think I love you the most
When you don't wrap your arm around me
Because that would be cheating
But you let me stay close.

I think I loved you the most,
More than I ever will again,
Last week.

An artist
In Japan, I think, or somewhere,
Built a swimming pool
That looks like a pool
But isn’t
And people go inside it and can look up
And see the people looking at them.
I saw it on Facebook,
“Like if it’s cool.”
Heart heart x x.

It doesn’t beat actually being underwater,
The surreality when you open your eyes
And the chlorine or the salt stings
And you see swimming trunks
Or fish
And things better not mentioning
And you look up and see the ceiling
But beyond that is the sky
And beyond that is space
And beyond that is stars
And beyond that is galaxies
And beyond that is…
Everything.

And you feel so deep underwater,
But you’ve barely scratched the surface.

Did you know that your eyes are flecked with gold?
Well, they are.
Yeah, they’re mostly blue, but there’s definitely gold round the edges.
Go look in the mirror then.
Don’t be stupid, eyes can’t be pink.
Uh huh.
You’re an idiot.
Gold is warm and rich and deep.
Why do I like your eyes? Because they like to lie to me. Ca m’amuse.
Yes.
I think you lie to me all the time.
No.
Because you lie to yourself too.

I hate night-time.
It’s cold and dark and there’s so much ******* light pollution
You can’t even see the stars.
There’s no hope.
You can’t even see tomorrow because by midnight,
Tomorrow has already come
Yet it has hardly been.

I love night-time.
We sing, we dance, we stay up until that old cliché:
The morning light arrives and it’s good,
Another night wasted.
- Wasting time isn’t necessarily time wasted. -
Then the day carries on itself and all I can think is,
What will happen tomorrow night?

It might be cold and dark and hopeless
But it’s fun
And who cares about sleep?

Piqué, piqué, piqué, pirouette.

Arabesque. I stand there and you spin me around en pointe.
You complete me. We dance and the music is like the background
To our focal point.
We are the centre stage.

Echappé, échappé, relevé.
Pas de chat ensemble.
Repeat à l’autre côté.

You take your hands from my waist now.
We need to complete the choreography.
And I feel lonely without you,
Although you are just on the other side of the room,
By the stereo.
I miss you.

Dancers fall for their partners all the time,
So I will never tell you how I feel
Because love will be the thing to tear us apart.

And I said, “I’ll never love anyone.”
And he said, “What about me?”
And I said, “You’re the only exception.”

“There's loads of boring stuff. Like Sundays and Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons. But now and then there are Saturdays.” ~ ‘Doctor Who’*

People think that Tuesday afternoons are boring. These are the type of people who get up at three-***-em on a Saturday afternoon then pa-a-a-arty all that night.

I don’t get on with these people.

No, for me, Tuesdays are glorious. Tuesdays are ‘me’ time.
Tuesdays are full of art, like French and English and cinnamon lattes in Costa as I read a book.

Or I write.
I create some poetry or prose – nothing spectacular but something that means I’ve said something about the world.

Then, sometimes, the afternoon is empty.
I don’t have a tutorial, I don’t have work and I don’t have people. I can just bake and dance and sing without having to pretend.

I love Tuesday afternoons.

Love is...*

Fun, right? Ha.
Enjoyable? Some luck.
Glorious? That’s one word for it.

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…”
Passionately. That is all.
I am you; how could I not be?
I have no choice in this matter,
And now I must wait for you
Here, underground.

How could you leave me
For three years? To fend for myself.
I needed you at the wedding,
To reassure me that I was doing the right thing.
I missed you.

O! Never separate us again –
My life, my love, my soul!
I will wait here, eternally,
Until we meet again

And I can exact my revenge.

You know when people tell you about love?
They tell you about happiness and dreams.
They laugh and bless everything up above.
They tell you everything is as it seems.
You know when people tell me about love?
I think of sunflowers and custard creams.
I imagine fluffy white clouds and doves
And yellow roses and pastoral greens.
You know when people go on about love?
They conjure images of snuggling up
In winter by a fire or a warm stove.
Hot chocolate in a pretty new cup.
When people tell you about love they forget to mention
Pain and anger and hurt and look at you with her.

The prompt says,
“A person whose life you’re curious about.”
I shall use this as an opportunity to mention
******* next door.
That is his name.
He knows I mean him.

You never ******* talk about anything
And you always say I lie to you
And so what if I do?
What good is it to tell you the truth
When you never tell me anything
And I have to worm it out of you?
Why does it matter?
It just ******* matters
Because I want to know you!
And yeah I like you like that
And yeah *** with you would be quite nice
But who cares?
You haven’t told anyone else
That you’re on a break with your girlfriend;
You never really talk to anyone else.
And yeah you just friend-zoned me
At the same time as throwing out the double-entendres:
You should be in a bed,
You said
A bed, yeah, I noticed
How you phrased that
So I left
And you followed me to the door.
And I don’t think you understand what I want from you.
But yeah I do find you attractive,
And yeah I’d quite like to *******,
And yeah I was trying to creep you out by saying that
But so what?
Because you said you don’t know what you want
And again, why tell me, tell her
Surely.
Is there something you want from me?
But you said no
And yeah I think you lied.
And yeah you said I’m a good friend
And I think that’s a lie too.
And I’m waiting for us to fall out again
Just like when you apologised
And I asked why
So you said next time you wouldn’t bother.
And then you didn’t reply
When I said you’re not any more special than anyone else.
And it’s just like when I said I didn’t think you liked me at all;
You got offended.
And yeah I like you
But so what?
I’m not trying to get in the way of anything;
Do what you want,
It’s your life,
I’m just curious.
And why text me of all people?
Of course I don’t know
But did you text the other girls
So much over the holidays
Really?
Decide what you want.
You know what I want.
I don’t mind being friend-zoned
If that’s all you want
But I don’t think it’s all you want.
I just think you need to decide
If you do ‘love’ her.
And did I have something to do with it?
Was it on the 5th?
Is that why you were mad at me?
Why did you take it out on me?
Yeah I can be over-sensitive
But you can be a ****.
Sometimes you’re such a child.
And you say I need to grow up
But so do you.
And, God, I’d really like to do you
Which is why it’s so ******* complicated!
So yeah I’m trying to get over you.
And you ask what I’m thinking and it’s nothing
But you don’t believe me
And why not?
It’s the truth.
And whenever I’m around you
Yeah you ******* terrify me
Because I’ve never wanted someone this much
And you’re only next door
And did I ever tell you I love your hugs
And the way you smell
And your hands
And isn’t that really ******* creepy?
But at the same time
I hate how you patronise me
And tease me
Just because I’ll react badly
And yeah you’re a bully
And yeah you treat me like **** sometimes
But somehow I forgive you
Because when everything's fine,
It’s really fine.
I just wish you weren’t so much of an ****,
Or at least I wish I knew why you’re so much of an ****.
And basically, that’s what goes on in my head.

Every time I see you.

Your turn.