and I hate how you made me question myself when the problem was you all along.

i’ve barely slept,
i’m running on adderal and self loathing,
a mix that has kept me alive for far too long.
i’ve barely slept,
i want you to kiss me until our lips are bruised and touch me hard enough that traces of your fingertips can still be seen on my skin.
i’ve barely slept,
i miss the feeling of someone’s mouth on my neck,
the feeling of gentle kisses starting at my collarbone and falling lower and lower and lower.
i’ve barely slept,
i’m running on adderal and self loathing,
when what i really need is to find my relief in you.

and so ill let my feelings trail off
like a lukewarm ending
to what was meant to be a perfect fairytale

it’s written in your eyes,
you knew i wasn’t enough,
hell,
we knew i wasn’t enough,
but why did you stay?