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  Apr 2017 Nekia-Brooke Thomson
Sometimes things are better left unread,
Many words left  unsaid
Things mixed up inside my head
Now....I wonder.
Now....I fear.
Close my eyes...are you still here?
Autumn comes when my sadness
Arrived like a cold blanket
Of leaves,
The fleeting sun with short days
And rainy sessions of music
Too melancholic to feel
Any ray of sunshine.....

But I like my pain,
It holds firm to memories
That tie it all together,
The glow of a quarter moon
On my drowning lips speaking
The way I used to hold you,
The way you wore me like
A robe folding every curve
Around me:
How much the depths of my soul
Want to see you in a certain
Light, passing me even as air,
The pain with final skies
Which calls for anguish in a flowering
Darkness leaving me
Nostalgic and scattered,
I like my pain,
That is how I know it was real.
  Nov 2016 Nekia-Brooke Thomson
Dear Sister, you chose to leave.
You let me grieve upon loss.
You let me put myself last and yourself first.
You let me worry when I shouldn't.
You let me cry for you.
You let me get angry.
You let me feel pain.
You let me feel anxious.
You let.. you didn't let me do anything.
I chose to be the one to do that for you. To feel that with you.
You decided to take that for granted, and for that.. I owe you nothing.
I don't owe you a place to stay.
I don't owe you my love.
I don't owe you kindness.
I don't owe you anything.
Nobody owes you their time of day.
Nobody owes you the physical items you hold in your hand.
So why go around treating everyone like dirt?
To make the people that care about you suffer.
If it's to make yourself feel better, then I hope you feel worse.
To my.. *dear* sister.
  Nov 2016 Nekia-Brooke Thomson
What is this feeling
Deep inside myself
A little something stirring
Awakening afresh

What is this sensation
Smile dancing upon the lips
Forcing my mind into concentration
Distracted, off wandering

What is this sentiment
The little things that matter
Deeply-buried excitement
Almost bursting forth

What are these butterflies
Flitting about
A dance amongst the lilies
Everytime he smiles

What are these flushes
A shy dip of the head
Hair swinging forth to hide the blush
I never know what to say

What is this
I've never had before
Little bubbles of joy
It's time for us to explore*

••    ••
••      •      ••
••          ••

First time for everything
Open the chamber of doors
walk back
to the place you want to exist
once more
Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are ******
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted

So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted

Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted

On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I do not go, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted

Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted
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