I say:
Do you want me to pretend you do not exist?

She says:
Do as you wish.

I perceive:
All I was once you moved onto the next,
A waste of breath.

What a mutual perception process,

You keep on running and now I have nothing but my beliefs.

And what do you have?
Your cup is empty

It would be full but...
You poke holes in all the words I speak

you are an illusion to me

     and

I am an image captured by your eyes

It's all trial and error;
weighing heavy on
the latter.
When I feel like this,
I want to build an
exit machine;
walk through it to
a different life.
Too many irons in
the fire, I'm burned
beyond recognition.
The situation unfolds
like it always does,
I fall down, and
then get back up.
But I'm tired, and sometimes
the ground is comfortable,
and way too familiar.

𝗌𝗁𝖾'𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝖾,
𝗌𝗈 𝖿𝗅𝖺𝗆𝖻𝗈𝗒𝖺𝗇𝗍
𝖺 𝗇𝖾𝗈𝗇 𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗇𝖻𝗈𝗐,
𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌
𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒;𝖻𝗎𝖻𝖻𝗅𝗒
𝖻𝖺𝖻𝖻𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒
𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗈𝗎𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗇𝗍;
𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗀𝗅𝖾𝖾
𝖺 𝗋𝗂𝗈𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝖼𝗈𝗅𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌

wondering
do you ever wonder why,
as i drive by,
how i throw my cigarette out the window?
so violently..
it's because i dont want it..
to fly back in.
sometimes i think,
you're just like that cigarette.
you fly back in..
unbeknownst to me
and burn my carpet.
leaving another mark,
so subtle.
yet another reminder,
of my black lungs
and black heart.
no thanks,
to you.