and I would give everything I have to see your eyes light up like streetlamps and you know that time in summer where the steady glow from daylight merges into night time and the breeze dances along the leaves of trees too tall like ballerinas; so gentle if you blink you’ll miss the sway of them? that’s what you remind me of.

you are a glow, an indian sunset and I long to be the sea your sun shine kisses and when your glow transcends into moonlight I long to be the stars who are accompanied by your effervescent light night after night and you know to me you will always be a ******* sunset when you should be rainfall: you pour down on everything I love and leave puddles;  you cause unapologetic floods in the crevices of my collarbones and attach your saltwater to the follicles of my hair and you warp the words on the pages of love letters I never sent and when you fall down my cheeks my teardrops and your raindrops will merge and for a moment we will become one and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. to be one with you. to be a ******* indian sunset in your illuminous eyes.

I keep running through the hallways of my mind and your voice is bouncing off the walls and echoing straight through my chest and there’s a thudding that gets louder and louder, like bongo drums, every time and I’m pretty sure my heart is now a gallery of us, open for public consumption and they can walk along the hallways and appreciate the beauty of our profound love like you never could.

one day you will find someone who melts your heart into your veins until it feels like the oxygen around your body is trapped and screaming for you to try to breathe, try to breathe harder and you’ll scream for them and they’ll stop returning your calls and there’ll be no texts and everything you once had will sink – almost in slow motion, almost as intangible as the idea that I loved you harder than anyone ever could – a ship where you’re the only person aboard and you’ll be watching an indian sunset like you watched their fingertips trace the curvature of your hips for the last time and you’ll realise in that moment that they were your indian sunset and man, don’t you just wish for some rainfall?

these crisscrossing streets
were once ours, our screaming
neon, the dazzling infinite
lights but time

she weaved
herself between
the clench of my fist
in the shape of his
absence, that grows,
grows

blood only
multiplies while we
splutter, incoherent
with the clarity -

your heart,
it does not beat
for me anymore.

(A.H.Z)

and pressing your lips to someone does not state your claim on them.
it just makes you another sea sick, journey torn pilgrim
happy to have something steady to hold on to for the first time
in forever.

The chains have become a part of me, as I lost count of all the years. Endless minutes passed me by, hands to clumsy to catch my tears.

I can't help but know deep inside, that my soul just wastes away. Confined in this solitude, where I was forever put to stay.

Every story has a witch, whose ugly cackle can make you shake. Evil that can't easily be defeated, by true love or a wooden stake. 

Shadows watch me while I sleep, and whisper that I must stay. Hope seems to dim now, with each passing day.

A prince was supposed to rescue me, but age has now set in. Youth has faded beyond the years, the signs of time carved into skin.

Fairy tales did me in, I realized as I step closer towards the drop. Beautifully poised I finally took that leap, knowing it's the only way to make it stop.

21 days
They say for the end of withdrawals
And it's out of your system
But my mind didn't listen
Because it's still enthralled

21 days
In ways I wish you were a drug
To explain this craving
I surely need saving
From the hole that I've dug

21 days
In a haze searching for a cure
Your infection is spreading
Tears over my bedding
How much more can I endure?

21 days
Here I lay still thinking about you
I must confess
I'm still a mess
But I'm starting to pull through

21 days
It pays to find someone new
When I heard his voice
My new drug of choice
To get me over you.

Why is it that when the call ends
my mind is always blank
I can think of a thousand words
I'd like to immortalize you with
Some legacy to leave behind on this rock
But every time I'm close
to finishing the next line
The first line
It never has been good enough
Call me a writer right?
That means nothing to the one
who can't form a sentence of comfort
for fear of the truth falling out

Don't you dare wish for the death of your soul.
Please don't hope at 17 that your life is cut short,
Because somewhere out there, a little girl, only a few years old, hasn't lived to make her first mistake, while you attempt to make your last, the innocence of her soul is severed quickly from her body, fighting for her life while you slit your wrists just because some boy just doesn't ******* love you back.

Don't you dare try to tell me your life isn't worth living, because the only God forsaken problem you have is the lack of the innocent love of a teenage boy.