I am not who I was 3 months ago,
All short hair and wide eyes and wonderstruck brain,
Now my hair is longer but my eyes are just as wide and I still feel wonderstruck when you look at me but now it’s different
And I can’t shake the feeling that we’ve grown up a little.
I’m making myself slow down and breathe,
Grab life by the shoulders with two shaky hands and yell
SNAP
OUT
OF
IT
at the mirror until I can lay in bed at night and not shiver my way into sleep
But fall peacefully into my dreams.
I am withering away in your arms, like a flower that hasn’t been watered in awhile
And maybe one day you’ll stop telling me to eat because I feel sick every time
I just want to be enough for myself but I’m becoming less than enough for you with every
“No thank you, I’m not hungry”
That slips through my lips
But I love you and I love your mind and I love your hands on my hips when you’re telling me its all alright.
If my words could change the world
I would never stop speaking
But as it is my words do nothing
Except fill the silence
And make me wonder why I ever said “English major” out loud in a group.
You say my eyes are blue like oceans and I feel like they hold oceans in them
Oceans that spill over every once on awhile
When the cosmos in your soul temporarily forget how to line up with mine,
But it’s only temporary and we always find our way home by morning.
So hold on through the night,
And sleep off all the stress,
Because when the sun comes up,
I’ll be here like I was when it set,
I’ll be awake and waiting to kiss the sleep from your body,
And rattle your soul.