If only you knew
How many of both my loving and aching poems
Were written because of you.

Constellations of stars bend from heaven
To envelope you and kiss your soft lips.
But here I am drinking from the ocean
To forget about the sway of your hips.
I'll fall asleep and doze off either way
After writing you a letter saying
I miss how you pray: "it'll be okay",
Cause I wish you were here, under my wing.
See, the galaxies between my fingers
Are right where your planets fit perfectly.
Now come down, step away from the dreamers
Let me sweep you up for eternity.
If my voice could reach you, I'd sigh in your ear:
"Oh darling, my love, I wish you were here."

November 4th, 2011, 12:57am.

I 'like' myself.
I like my eyes,
How they resemble a forest
After the rain,
But I don't like how they get red and bloodshot
Whenever I cry:
A forest fire
That's out of my control.
I like my hands,
How they can create art out of nearly anything,
But I don't like how they are covered
In scars
Made by pencils and pens and words that were too sharp.
I like my legs,
How they are strong,
Dependable,
A best friend,
But I don't like how they're stretched out,
Or how they rub together,
Or the way they jiggle when I walk.
I like my arms,
How there are constellations of freckles buttered over my skin,
But I don't like how no matter how hard I try,
I can't seem to pull myself up
Off the cold,
Concrete ground.
I like my hair,
How it trickles down like a waterfall,
Into the valley known as
The small of my back
But I don't like how it's made up of split ends
From staying in the hot shower for way too long
Dreading the morning sun.
Nevermind.
Maybe I don't like myself.

March 31st, 2015, 3:00am.

It has been a long road.
I have crashed
Gotten back up patched.
Added and subtracted
The Weight
The Clothes
The Hair
The Makeup
To get my answer
To a complex math problem;
A complex life problem
That I'm sure you've all encountered
On that one pop quiz
From the first day of school
That you took before they even knew your name.
#1. "What do they all think about me?"
#100. "Do I like myself?"
And with all I've experienced
And learned through self love and so
Much
Patience,
My answer is this:
I don't like myself,
I ******* love myself
And I hope you can all learn to do the same
Because nobody deserves to be caught under their own shadow of
Self Doubt.

Chaos.
Disarray.
Uncontrolled.
Messy.
Clutter.
Disorder.
Spilling­ thoughts...

You.

That's the one I was talking about
When he broke your heart and your only escape was the keyboard?
I was listening
I'm being the best brother I can
But we've all got hiccups
And the choppy waters never end

The best we can do is to wait for
Landfall and hold onto hope until the world swallows us
Again and makes us into something new
But I see an awakening for you
In these coming months
So please, don't let go

I want to hear the waves crashing on the shore
When we crash into each other
Lost to the music
And I don't wanna come back

I feel the wind kiss my forehead
Like the sun never did
And now the clouds are here
It's more than I could ask for

I never did learn if you love the rain
Like I do
Or if you feel the rhythm
Like I do

Baby steps
Decades lost to time
I'm singing to the waves because
You never will

I'm so nervous, so tired
I want to walk with you on old leaves
And sing love songs to the quiet

I don't think we should stop this
You caught my eye when I first saw you
And I crave it now more than anything