Did you find it sad
That we went from
Watching horror movies at 7am
Leaning against each other
And hiding smiles
To never smiles
Unless it was sarcasm
That was shot down by the other
Then mocked by their friends.
For a second there you had me
I almost trusted you
I almost told you why I found this moment special
Because I went from tearing my hair out
To laughing more often
But just as I was about to let you in
I got shut out.
Everything subsided
I started blasting music alone
While you criticized every move I made
Behind my back.
But don't act like I never knew that
Because I did
Word travels fast between mutual friendships.
I got used to being alone again
But the only thing that still hurts me
Is that I didn't say goodbye that evening
Because I thought we'd see each other this way again
You didn't say goodbye that evening
Because you knew it was going to be over.
Oh, how I wish I had the courage
To walk up to you
Look you in the eye
And say
"Goodbye"
And when you ask why I bothered
I'd respond
"I never had a reason to before.
So goodbye
My old painkiller
You kept me up way too many nights
Wondering
What I did
That was so wrong."

I consider my age
To be so much older
Than my 13th year
My Sweet 16
The date of my birth
Means nothing to me
I don't consider my life
To be counted by the days I lived
I see it in the people I've met
And the horrors I've seen
I'm a thousand years old
But nobody sees
That I count my years
In apologies
I'll be so much older
Than my Sweet 16
The date of my birth
Means nothing to me

If something could be said,
About light and sound
In relation to you,
There'd be a lot to say.
There thought in your eyes flare
Quickly,
Then follows the sound of your voice,
Unmistakable,
Spreading jokes and ideas
That everyone wants to hear.
But I'm the only one,
Who sees the lightning before the thunder.
The quick changes of emotion,
Flashing ever so slightly,
Before you speak and draw the attention away,
So no one sees the switch from hurt,
To anger,
To pain,
To joy,
Before cracking a joke.
Where others sees shelter,
I step into the rain.
Now because of you,
My dear,
I completely understand
Why storms are named after people.

Today was a good day
The chords she strummed were pleasant
Melodic
C, G, F
She plucked my strings gently
Her voice was light
She doesn't miss him
As much as she did
Yesterday

Today
Not so good
She played the song again
And again
"I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing"
She ripped at my strings
Till her fingers bled
And tears streamed down her face
Her voice was quiet
Choked
She missed him
Very much

Today was okay
She played the song
"Everything that kills me
Makes me feel alive"
But just once this time
It was flawless
But she forced a smile as she sang
Like the song meant nothing
It didn't hurt
Her fingertips were healed
There was applause
She whispered
"Thank you"

Today was a good day again
The chords weren't as flawless
As yesterday
She made mistakes
But her voice was strong
"I feel that love
And I feel it burn"
She missed him
More than ever
But he's the reason I stayed
Why I wasn't put away
He mattered because
He's her muse
Her life
The harmony to her melody
And hopefully
He'll know soon

Someone once told me
"The lyrics you write don't match you"
Because they were dark
Hesitant
Fearful but
Honest
I laughed
And said
"Well you don't know me"
I threw back my head
Still laughing
"You never will"