I'll admit
I miss how things used to be.
Hugs after runs
Holding hands following slow dances
Running to meet each other when we haven't been together in more than a few days
It was all my sense of security
Because nothing else could touch me
Because when you whispered
"I'll protect you"
Into my hair
It was a promise
A promise that everyone else broke
Everyone
But you.
I won't lie
I miss calling you Ian
Laughing at lame jokes
Listening to John Mayer on buses headed to paradise
Chasing each other through the woods
Sleeping in your sweatshirts
Only worrying if my hair really looked okay
Because it always did to you
No matter what.
I'll admit
I miss how things used to be.
But I only miss what happened
I don't miss you.
I never have
I never will
And I'm sorry.
For that
And that we couldn't be who we always believed we were.